fri oct 24 even yet....   2-0-0-8

so hey, the OTHER judahblue i keep getting on google is new zealand's most popular shopping site, or something like that. THAT AIN'T ME. but i've got all of one reader, so whatever.

so i started reading sehnen's blogs in AUGUST. didn't find her till then. she already wanted to die. so i've been printing out EVERYTHING, all four of her blogs, since then. all on hard copy. i just told her that yesterday. she was shocked that i'd go to so much trouble. i told her i didn' t want her story to disappear, and that i might just piece together a book out of all that writing she's done. that's another project to keep me off the streets. and my unfinished paintings.

teaching is teaching. you got your really interested students, you got your real wastes of space, and you got the others in the middle. it's a small college, as i've said, so you get to see your students quite a lot at social things, and i like that. don't have to feel like the people i teach are just numbers in a huge edu-business. this college likes to see itself as progressive and tolerant, and so it puts up with the likes of me. also, about half of my students in every class actually LIKE the way i teach. they give me good evaluations. that's probably another reason i'm tolerated. haven't got the boot yet, anyway.

i teach people who are english majors, and people who aren't. WHY ARE YOU MAJORING IN ENGLISH? YOU WON'T MAKE A DIME COMPARED TO THE TECHNO-WORLD.  you get lots of different answers to that question. as many different answers as there are kids. these days i'm trying to stir them all up against the fascist fbi.

here's a forgotten poem by a darned good forgotten american poet of the late 1800's:

CASSANDRA --- by louise bogan

To me, one silly task is like another.

I bare the shambling tricks of lust and pride.

This flesh will never give a child its mother, --

Song, like a wind, tears through my breast, myside,

And madness chooses out my voice again,

Again. I AM THE CHOSEN NO HAND SAVES:

The shrieking heaven lifted over men,

Not the dumb earth, wherein they set their graves.

if you don't know who cassandra is in greek mythology, look it up. I capitalized that one line for sehnen: the chosen FBI worm that no hand will touch or help or save. ok, so i'll tell you a TEENSY bit about cassandra. the gods gave her the gift of prophecy, but then cursed her that no one would ever believe her. so she spoke truth all her life, and was never believed. kind of like sehnen being labelled "delusional" by the FBI and all the weebles who piss their pants, don't you think. i love cassandra, and i love this poem.