oct 22, fri 2-0-0-8
so do I want to die as much as Sehnen does? Sometimes. She's got all these reasons. The FBI using her as bait without her consent and mashing the hell out of her, her whole life before the FBI got their hooks into her. I've learned something about that from my communication with her. Talk about bad luck chasing you like a fucking rabid dog all your life.
my reasons are different. I haven't had nearly so much bad luck, and the FBI doesn't own me yet, but it's just that I always expected that people would be more than they are. And they aren't. Now I'm 46, and all I've ever seen is that they aren't. People are disappointing mostly, boring mostly, insubstantial mostly. This is the thing that will at times get the death-wish really big in me.
here's a silly ditty that goes to my point:
it's garbage in and garbage out
what's all my flaming fuss about?
why have I so many days
tried to learn about your ways?
why so many hours in vain
to master someone else's pain?
it's garbage in and garbage out
what was my effort all about?
to spend so much of my own time
trying to find another's rhyme
to squander pieces of my life
trying to help another's strife
to live in hope that one great day
my trying would pay off some way
was foolishness, a work of waste:
there is no value I can make.
it's garbage in and garbage out
what were the years of fuss about? ((((((((( copyright 2008 judahblue
16 sept 2-0-0-9 ....... "aspies," folks, is the unsolicited tag on this post. meant as an insult, or just a statement? should i be flattered that moonriver feels he has to put these tags on my posts, or annoyed????????????
