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Read News Archive October 23, 2008 WOMBAT'S WORLD OF COMBAT

Predictions for UFC 90: Anderson Silva vs. Patrick Cote

By Jeff "Wombat" Meszaros

I can remember when the UFC only held one event every six months, and fight nerds like me had plenty of time to voraciously discuss every match to the fullest content of our Dorito-clogged hearts. Now, with a new UFC coming around the bend almost every weekend, combat-geeks such as myself barely have time to settle into our obsessive-compulsive grooves before we have to change gears and fly into needlessly passionate arguments about another fight altogether. It's gotten so bad, in fact, that some of us have begun arguing about one event before the next one has even happened. Just today, for example, I was screaming at a bunch of children waiting for a school bus that Couture should never have taken the fight against Lesnar. But, again, that is an argument for another day.

Anderson "The Spider" Silva vs. Patrick "The Predator" Cote

Every now and then, a fight rolls down the mountain where virtually no one expects one of the combatants to emerge alive. Sometimes, but not all the time, the prophecy unfolds just as everyone expects; but sometimes not. I can cite both fights between George St. Pierre and Matt Serra there. This time, I only know two people who are picking Cote to win. One is Cote; who I had on Full Contact Fighter radio and is a great guy. The other is the crazy guy I see every morning by the bus stop, chasing around screaming and stomping on the head of his shadow. Now, don't get me wrong. Anything can happen in the octagon, but neither of those sources seem particularly credible to me. Cote, as nice a guy he is, is a touch biased, and the other guy is clearly deeply schizophrenic. Can Anderson Silva be beaten? Absolutely, yes. But, and I said this to Cote, I don't think the way to defeat him is by punching him in the face. Unless Cote has somehow developed world class takedowns and ground-and-pound skills in the last six months, I don't see this one going his way. My Guess: Silva by TKO.

Josh Koscheck vs. Thiago Alves

I don't have anything against Koscheck, but I'm really hoping that Alves pulls off the win here. I'm saying that because, even though I've met Matt Hughes and he was perfectly polite to me in person, I've developed a deep-seeded dislike of him based solely on the way he has been portrayed on television; much like the way many people still hate the guy who played the role of "Higgins" on Magnum P.I. just because he was always so rude to Tom Selleck. Is it fair to judge someone based only on what you've seen on T.V., while sitting at home wearing only your underwear and a mexican lutador mask? I think so. Just in case I've totally lost you, I should point out that Alves is coming off a TKO win over Hughes, which is how he has now earned my strictly-platonic man-love. Before I run out of hyphens, I would also like to point out that Alves should be next-in-line to fight St. Pierre, but is being hosed by the UFC marketing department, who see more dollar signs in having the poutine-machine fight B.J. Penn, who for the sake of being fair I shall refer to as the Hawaiian Punch. Incidentally, Kenny Florian is also getting hosed by that deal. Now, Alves is facing someone who has already lost to St. Pierre in a manner that was both dramatic and anti-climatic. So, as you can see, I have a lot of reasons for wanting Alves to win. Will he? Yes. Koscheck will not want to stand with "The Pitbull" and will invariably shoot in, eating a knee to his blonde he-fro in the process; much in the same way that Alves beat Hughes, but without the satisfying sense of moral entitlement. My Guess: Alves by TKO

Rich Clementi vs. Gray Maynard

Honestly, considering the other fights on this card, I could care less who wins this one. Do I even have to say that Clementi will want to trade punches and Maynard will want the takedown? Well, regardless, I've already said it and I'll be damned if I'm going to hit the backspace button now. My Guess: Maynard by decision.

Fabricio Werdum vs. Junior "Cigano" Dos Santos

It wasn't long ago that Werdum was a top-contender for the UFC heavyweight title. Of course, back then, the weight class was as thin as an anorexic basketball player. Now, with Frank Mir and Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira all over T.V. and Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar dominating the discussion forums populated by fight nerds, he's been lost in the shuffle. If you doubt this, I'd like to point out that he's facing someone who's photo is "coming soon" on the UFC website. That is never a good sign. Also, according to my notoriously low-quality research, "Cigano" means "Gypsy". What is the guy going to do? Show up playing a fiddle, steal Werdum's horse and then take off? I doubt it. My Guess: Werdum by submission.

Sean Sherk vs. Tyson Griffin

For a long, long time, I thought Griffin was just Sean Sherk wearing a wig. I thought it was like the deal where Stephen King also wrote books using another name, just to satisfy his addiction to typewriter ink and long periods spent in solitude. It turns out I was wrong. Blood tests confirm that Griffin and Sherk are actually different people but, curiously, both fighters are - genetically speaking - %10 badger. How will that manifest itself in the fight? Three words, friends: Enter-freaking-tainment. It is possible, now looking back at that, that is one word, but you get the idea. Think about two super-powered midgets throwing down Superman vs. Bizarro style. If that doesn't suit you, you can also go with The Green Lantern vs. Sinestro, Aquaman vs. Black Manta, or any of the other Superfriends vs. Legion of Supervillian matches where the good guy and the bad guy have, through some incredibly wild coincidence, exactly the same powers. (Note: there is no evil equivalent of Batman). My Guess: Sherk by decision.

Hermes Franca vs. Marcus Aurelio

Franca and Aurelio used to train together, but now they hate each other. Why? I'm not sure, but I can guess. It's possible that one of them went out with the other's ex-girlfriend. I had a friend try that on me once and I nearly threw him through a window. As Jack Nicholson once said, while playing the joker, you never rub another man's rhubarb. This is all just wild speculation, of course. It's also possible that Franca borrowed Aurelio's bike and then left it unlocked outside the 7-11, where it was prompty stolen, and now Aurelio thinks that maybe Franca just sold it and made up the whole story. My Guess: Aurelio by decision.

Josh Burkman vs. Pete Sell

Burkman has a beard but no hair. Sell has hair but no beard. For some reason, I find that terribly discombobulating. One of them looks like their head is on upside-down, but I'm not sure which. My Guess: Sell by submission.

Jeff Meszaros welcomes reader feedback at wombat@fcfighter.com and can be heard as the host of FCF Radio.