It seems that the older the man...the better, in my early twenties... my friends would take the piss out of me whenever we went out. It didn't matter which pub or club we were in, if there was a geriatric or pensioner (and I say that with respect) in the room... it would just be a matter of time before he made his way over to me...with those come to bed eyes.
I have thought about this a great deal recently...why have all the men I have ever been attracted been considerably older than I am?? Even my husband is 11 years older than I am, which is not vastly older...but why would I pick him over somebody my own age.
I was recently sitting across from my therapist who is probably somewhere in his 50's, and I had this irrepressible urge to get out of my chair, saunter across the room...kicking my shoes off...flicking my hair back and straddling him...yes...I am cringing at how corny and completely unarousing that visual is.
He was yacking away about something while I was fantasizing that I was giving him a good go...on his desk...on his couch... on the floor...was I having a really good time!!! I actually smiled during the thought....but was caught out as he asked me what it was I was smiling about. I went crimson... I was extremely embarrassed...but managed to quietly utter a pathetic little..."nothing". GOD...I wanted to die on the spot!!!
I do find him attractive...but if I had met him out of the therapy context he would probably not be somebody I would be interested in sexually. I was confused as to why I was fantasizing of doing the dirty with my therapist... is it because he is my therapist? I am aware that there are sometimes some feelings that can be triggered due to the nature of the relationship or is it the older man thing again??
Not sure...but interesting to me nonetheless.
