I have tried to kill myself 4 times over the years. I survived 3 out of 4 overdoses without medical attention. To me that's a group of miracles. What surprised me was the fact that this all occurred while I have been interested in witchcraft and not Christianity. I didn't want to tell the Christians that I have been around that fact unless I knew them. I don't want to spoil their faith. Perhaps the fact that people have faith in any deity at all can mend us. Some might think that it's psychosomatic while others not. Either way I believe that someone bigger than me has stepped into my life. The last time I tried to kill myself a valuable lesson was learned. I had yelled up to God something along the lines of "At least I can control one thing in my life. I can take my own life and there's nothing you can do about it." I did that a few months or weeks prior actually.(I don't remember exact time frame.) Well, when I did finally try to take my life the last time I did in fact survive. Door knobs started disappearing as well as my glasses. The bathroom flooded because the knobs for the faucet kept disappearing. I learned what being a poltergiest was like. (I did say that I wanted to be one prior. Heh, I have since changed my mind.) The next morning lightning crashed inches away from me as a sign that someone was very pissed off at me. I have since stopped yelling at God for the fact that I breathe. I still get suicidal, but I don't take it out of God or anyone else. I just figured that I would share that. It's interesting stuff.
Oh, I have also heard voices in my head that spoke in the same pattern that lightning flashed in the sky. It's as though someone is communicating with me. With all of the medications that I have been on, you would think that it would have stopped. It still happens sometimes, usually when I am paying attention to the weather. That has generally calmed me on more than one occasion when I was pissed off.
