Not much had been said about my birthday over the last couple of weeks, not by my husband. He's very good at keeping secrets but also we had financial stresses which tends to happen at the beginning of every month a la the real world no?
So here I was looking forward to a quiet day at work, a couple of drinks by myself because hubby was due to leave for a film shoot the day of my birthday, I thought I'd get some take away in town, go home have a quiet night. Not to be and this is why I love him so much, he's so good at keeping mum, making excitement build itself, and holding back on letting ANYTHING slip.
As we are doing up our second car (third car is off the road and ready to sell) I don't have access to my car all the time, so he picked me up from work late, I hate waiting but he made me wait (he knows I hate waiting... it was my birthday he knew what he was doing). We went to town so I could have a birthday champagne.
As I was getting out of the car hubby handed me a little tiny brown bag, inside it a box, inside the box a gift not unlike myself (forgive the smoozyness) beautiful but simple it was. A watch. Something I haven't owned for a few years, by choice mainly, I let go of needing to know the time, I let go of wanting to control time with my thoughts. I did however miss the fact of looking to my wrist to see if I was running late you see, I hate my mobile, the less I see that thing the better so this gift was just wonderful.
After being in town for a couple of hours I was not only getting hungry but also tired (I've been up since 04.30 for work) we decided to go home, watch the sun set on our balcony and surprise surprise we watched the moon, a full moon rise over the mountains, partly covered by cloud.. see below pic of my birthday moon.
Hubby knows I hate tv but he uses it when he works so I say nothing, if it helps for background I try to ignore it. It was just so pleasant to see him turn it off, place my favourite classical music in the player (orf) and turn it up loud, so loud I'm sure the neighbours were celebrating with us.
So we whiled the hours away talking, the main topic is that I met my husband the year he turned 36, I'm 35 now, I'm the age he was when we met so we began that journey through the years which was warm, gave me goose bumps, brought tears of love and joy to my eyes. Such a friend as he, how lucky am I. All the joy still there, the fire too, the gifts of learning and wisdom shared. My life over the last year has been extremely challenging, outcome based? well I'd say that I am comfortable in my skin now, not needing to prove anything and learning from my silly mistakes. Learning to stand tall while I apologise for things I've done knowingly and willingly with disregard, standing tall knowing that I have become in my own eyes if its okay to say a wonderful women.
We ate chinese ~ A rare treat, it was quite some time ago we had it, so I enjoyed it fully, gorging myself with flavours and textures that are really not a normal experience for me. (celiacs)
A funny thing happened though, instead of waiting for my parents to call me I decided to call them, first my mother... "Mom! thank you and congratulations!~ at 4.35 pm today 35 years ago you gave me life" she cried of course, it was the best thing I could have done. Father? "Dad, congrats! you did good, you had fun having a nookie got caught out but look! I'm still here and happy" Dad laughed like he hasn't for years (I've mentioned before our relationship is strained) it was wonderful to hear him laugh, wonderful to not, pip him at the post but to say thank you to the two people who gave me life. I think I will keep that tradition, rather than expect the phone call every year, I think I'll pre empt it, encourage myself to thank that which I had no control over really. Heck they decided to have a little hide the sausage and resulted in a daughter. Me, I turned out okay because of that little game of theirs.
So all in all everyone, I had an amazing birthday this year, I do believe I'm getting comfortable in my own skin, finding myself far more confident in learning what I need to and what I stumble upon. Its also a part of being here too, so many real life friends have resulted in this pretty little place, so to all of you who yelled out across the oceans a happy birthday ~ Thank you.
