Who's reading tony_b (3):
I have been enjoying reading through soulcast lately.this is why i subscribed to a soulcast account... There is this certain topic that i am interested about since my sexual hormones are active lately... What is a dom-sub relationship?what are its characteristics?  does someone have to be married to be in a dom/sub? i have this impression that it is sought by someone who is not happy with his/her spouse and look for a fulfillment of sexual desire with someone else?Help me understand....

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Comments

  • crazysilly said on Oct 15, 2008....
    hmmm good questions! i'm not in a dom/sub relationship and haven't been in one so i probably can't answer all your questions. from what i understand one person is dominant, the other submissive (of course!) and i don't think u have to b married but you do have to be committed i would think. hopefully someone else comes along to this post to explain better than me!
  • pusscat said on Oct 15, 2008....
    Hi there tony_b :-)

    You don't have to be married to be in a Dom/sub relationship as with any other relationship really.  There are some people who do seek sexual gratification via different kinds of kinky sex, with a D/s theme, outside of their marriage, but that is not the reason for the lifestyle.

    I am a submissive with a wonderful Dominant.  We love each other very, very much.  I am not a doormat mind you.  i have a strong personality and hold down a well respected demanding job.  He respects me and gains great satisfaction from seeing me happy and content.  I gain great pleasure and satisfaction from seeing him happy and content.  So we complete each other.  It is not an easy thing to hand over control of your life to another.  I fall down many times on many days LOL!  My Dom has the patience of a saint though (luckily for me)  He tests my limits mentally too.  i have always craved routine, structure and discipline and gain that from my Dominant.  By discipline I do not mean punishment.  Many times I see those two things mixed into one.  Discipline is like when you grow your nails, when you decide to diet or go to bed early 4 nights a week.  You see?  My Dominant helps me with discipline.  The only time he gives me punishment it is for my own good.  To ensure i do not repeat silly mistakes that would not have happened if I had been concentrating more or had planned better, taken more time.  This makes me a better person in my working life and my relationship.  Much of the D/s aspect is mental - a state of mind but of course there is amazing bondage sex too ha ha!!

    I think you will enjoy reading some of the articles written by Doms and subs on one of my fave D/s websites. 

    http://www.seekers.org.uk/sub.htm        Enjoy reading and learning and please feel free to ask any question you want via Private Message (PM) or another post.

    take care

    pusscat
  • tony_b said on Oct 15, 2008....
    thanks.will pm you pusscat....so many things i want to know...
  • DaddysLittleSlut said on Oct 27, 2008....
    Hi Tony B,
    I am a sub also.  PC mentioned you were here and i wanted to say hi -  Hi!!.
    I have a long distance relationship with my Master.  I met Him first and He helped me discover my nature.  He helps me discover my true self all the time.  Seems He knows more about me than i do.  So, for me the most important aspect is trusting that He will lead me to what is best for me.
    There are many "Doms" out there that will be perfectly willing to use you for their pleasure without concern for your ultimate well being.. you must be careful.  It takes a great deal of responsibility to be a good Dom. 
    When we give our respect and obedience to a Dom, it is because they have earned and deserve it.  I have made the mistake of giving my obedience to someone who calles themself master without fully checking it out.. it hurts.
    Its mostly about chemistry, love, and respect.  The same things as vanilla relationships.. except .. the shift of control.  
    I love that he pushes me to try things i would shy from.. things my parental voices tell me are wrong.  I do them to please Him but then i have them memories and the excitement of having done them.  The added knowledge of being the obedient slut that i am. 
    i struggle constantly with the old voices in my head and the excitement of the acts i perform for Him.   He knows i will be excited by them even if i won't admit it, even if i deny it.  Eventually, i find myself saying.. wow i did that.. that was exciting.  i want to do it again.
    yes, trusting Him, having faith.. is the most important part
    Dls
  • Precious said on Mar 14, 2009....
    I have just afew days ago met a dom onl;ine for the VERy first time.. I have NEVER been in this kind of lifestyle at all... He is an amazing man VERY kind gentle and caring, him and I live many miles away from each other just met here online.. We will likely ever meet,but have decided to give it atry online.. Does it work online has anyone experienced this online????? I am abit scepticul and wondered IF anyothers have done this????? Thank Precious..
  • Pansygirl said on Apr 20, 2009....
    Hey, I have a friend who it turns out is a Dom... we have been friends since childhood and recently found one another again.. I have always always been a sub.. even to the extent of making everyone else in my life happy and not myself. I find this lifestyle in all it's dimensions, right up my alley and wanted to know how do I go about starting this type of a relationship. He has told me about himself and he guessed at my being a sub. I guess it is in the way I act. I have no clue.. but I did admit to him yes I was like that and that it sounded intriguing and like something I would be willing to enter into. I would appreciate any info you all could give me.. And is it better to have one sub teach another sub how to be? For the most part I am innately submissive but I am sure there is alot to learn.. from other subs and also things my Dom would teach me...
  • anonymous said on May 28, 2009....
    Dominant/submissive relationships (also known as D/s) are actually fairly common &, where they are based on good communication & mutual trust & meet the yin-yang needs of those involved can be both very close & highly emotionally forefilling. For more information see www.kinkspace.com
  • aniceguy said on Jun 29, 2009....
    In response to Pansygirl, 

    You know I am the same way Pansygirl, I used to be out to please everyone I knew, not as much so now, I am more likely to tell someone to fuck off if they dont like the way I do something now, but I feel bad when I do that to people.  However, that doesn't make me want to be sub, it made me be dom. I did it mostly because I knew a girl who wanted to be sub and my get off is to turn women on.  My greatest turn on is knowing that I turned on and make a women cum.  But I also ended up liking being dom because I like being able to control as well and be a little rough to an extent that the women likes as well.  Funny how the same desire can go either way.
  • DaddysLittleSlut said on Jun 30, 2009....
    For me the difference is the responsibility.. as a sub I am in awe of the responsibility my Doms take for me.  I have a responsibility to follow orders but they educated themselves and me, they learn to read me, learn to play me, learn to excite me, take care of me, coddle me.. the list goes on and on.. research - candlewax, knot tying, piercing, tattoos, toys, anything that interests them.. they need to learn enough for themselves and enough to be sure i'll be ok too.. its amazing.
     
    If I had to do that for someone else, i'd go biserk..  i'm way too lazy.  I have enough to do in my own life.   Being able to give myself up and let someone else take control is so freeing and so fabulous.. i love being a sub.
  • IronDuke said on Jul 01, 2009....
    Lots of good information on Dom/sub relationships can be found at http://www.kinkspace.com/home ID
  • pusscat said on Jul 01, 2009....
    It's very nice to meet you IronDuke Sir.

    I am also on kinkspace (as pusscat), though only recently and haven't travelled the site much yet so to speak.  I found your profie most interesting and found myself nodding my head far more than shaking it ha ha!  Irish mum huh - my granddad was the Irish one in our family - County Mayo, West Central, though never been there yet.  The poor man's Ireland - about right - one of the first things I learned as a kid was my grandma was the first person to have real Linolium in her kitchen but, also, the first to have it reposessed lol!  Who says they got it hard these days?!  The Irish most lilely counts for the temper (that's my excuse anyway).  I also have a slight angled way of viewing the world, just aint figured out which angle I like best yet. .

    Glad you put your link up anyway.

    ~peecee~
  • Lady said on Jan 14, 2010....
    I am married and have recently wondered why sex is not pleasing to me at all. I know i have major sub ways, i have to please everyone, no matter what. But the thing is I asked hubby to dominate me and he said no. If this is what i need, is there any way you all can think off to help me get him into it??? All i asked him to do is tie me up and he said no.

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