What a plesant day until of course I hit the afternoon.
I learned valuable lessons today, want to know what they are?
My dog has a sick fascination with blood, guts, intestines and all things dead. The cow they so lovingly kulled last week was ready for carving, they'd bled it on the property, then at fucking 06.30 saturday morning (I'm not kidding thats the doofus asshole my landlord is) cut that bastard up with half the fucking town at our front door step. not that we were offered any. Anyway I could seriously de nut that bastard... so the dog, today, who is still getting over her surgery, the dog I remind you that is 13 going on 14 yrs old, decided to take a wander down to the slauter hosue... back yard I mean.
The only reason we knew it was our dog was the lull in the number of fly's swarming her body, she had rolled head an all in the gorry guts and blood of the kulled and carved cow.
I'm serious the smell permeated up to our balcony. So we washed the dog, now she has evil eyes for hubby and I for removing her cherished scent, her much laboured over eau de cologne. I'm telling you she just looks at you with this look that say's you know I hate you, you'r going to pay for this. Just wait till you try give me my tablets tonight... (remembering how to give a cat a pill post)
Anyway, that drama was enoughf or one day, now I am covered in fucking dog fur, smell like wet dog and frankly its ruined my calm atmosphere... that and the fact I've got constipation... another celiacs attack I'm afraid, so you can all have a joke on Lucy yep!
I'M FULL OF SHIT!
See its okay, I don't mind, cause I swear when the other end of this attack comes I'll feel like a new women, I'll lose about 4 kilos in one sitting and make my husband gag with my own special aroma. ((laughing histerically)
I also learned today how best to deal with the Husband has a passion/hobby thingy that I am so totally NOT interested in. What did I do?
Lucy walks downstairs to say hi to hubby.
Me ~ hows it going?
HB ~ ooowwww take a look at this? (showing me very particularly painted piece of frame for the cooler
Me ~ oh shiny, what does that do? (it cools the engine dah am not stupid, am smart)
HB ~ It cools the engine (rolling eyes)
Me ~ (pointing to wind screen wiper motor) What does that do?
HB ~ Give it a guess, it goes here (placing motor where it sits in engine bay)
ME ~ oohh humm how about the rotar? (bwa ha ha)
HB ~ No (rolling eyes) try again
ME ~ What about the thingy that starts the car (starter motor)
HB ~ Noooo try again (getting annoyednow)
ME ~ Well, it looks like its a thingy that turns something to make the motor go round (bwa ha ha)
HB ~ Nooo baby, this is the windscreen wiper motor
ME ~ Ohhhh (Light bulb going off look)
HB ~ you don't really care do you.......
ME ~ Of course I do, its just that well you know I thought that if you were gonna do something for the car you'd maybe replace the uni joint that fucked out the last time we drove it?
HB ~ Fuck off! I mean it, go away (threatening me with disgustingly gross and filthy hands)
ME ~ Whaaa????
When husband ignores you for a project, make him pay bt knowing what it is he's doing ebtter than he does, play dumb until you have him hooked, then pounce, knowing full well you will be told to feck off away from him ~ which in essence is what you want because you simply couldn't take oohhing and ahhhing about another peice of fucking metal.
Well it worked for me!
Now this place has been utterly dead tonight, so I leave you all with one little question.
What would you do if someone moved to your neighborhood that you didn't want there?
