Hey Y'all,
I have been meaning to tell this squirrel story, ever since Mimi told us of her gymnastics team....sounded to me like the squirrels out her way were groovin with the sunflowers; mine on the other hand, gave me a peek into my own soul....it has left me thinking about FEAR. Here's what happened....
The house is on the market and keeps us on our best behavior. Gawd, I am so looking forward to getting my life back, but for now *sigh, I will play the game....take a shower, wipe down the glass walls...every single day, dust, vacuum....no dishes, no trash in the bin...nothing out of place. You know the drill. It's a buyers market, the economy is failing...blah, blah, blah.
Someone is going to love this place, I do know that! When I am not focusing on having everything perfect, I do take the time to look around at my little slice of heaven. There are meadows all around my property, beautiful and lush and paid for by someone elses' tax dollars:)) There are pretty flowers that I have planted or "vounteers" as my mom says...Flowers that God has planted for my enjoyment at random spots in the garden, out of the garden, through a crack in the sidewalk. I casually open and shut the back door all day long letting my puppy in and out as he pleases...reminding myself that it is not torture...he is a blessing to me and I am happy to keep him happy.
So the other day, I mindlessly opened the back door and strolled out with the puppy to spend a few minutes in the bright sunlight. Put down the mops, the dust rag and the windex. I was drawn to the noise at the peak of the garage roof which is adjacent to the back door...we had stumbled out onto a squirrel who was eating, or sunbathing, or I do not know what on our deck area...and he was bitching to high heaven..we had scared the sh***out of him!
Once he was done scolding us (and yes he sounded like a chipmunk on tv), I continued on my little playtime with the pup. We went off into the woods...he galloping like he had a Zorro cape on and me trudging up the steep hills behind the house. It was fun and we came back after a short while...and there was the squirrel still. He twitched nervously an inch this way or that...seemed to me that he was looking from the corner of his eye at me...I tried the 'skat!' route, but he was not moving, not while I was watching anyway. It was about 1 pm...I assumed he would wander off if we went inside.
The afternoon continued with household things...a buff of a floor here and another bath sparkling for visitors...two hours later I let the dog out again...and there he was! The damn squirrel was still there! It was obvious that he and I needed to have a little chat. So I went outside and sat beneath him on my deck chair and told him how it is.
"You are free, my friend...why are you still here? Go! I am not gonna get you, I am not interested in anything about you, just run!" He did not take my advice, but he did bitch at me and got all jittery. Well 'fine' I thought. Have it your way. Hang there all freakin' day.
But I was drawn to him and his actions and as I would go in and out of my kitchen area, I would peek out the window. Over time, he was holding onto the stucco side of this peak with his hands and feet spread as far as he could reach.
After awhile even his tail was flat against the stucco...I dunno but maybe they have a way of holding on with their tails too.
After awhile even his tail was flat against the stucco...I dunno but maybe they have a way of holding on with their tails too.
With errands to run and much on my mind, I set out that afternoon to pick up supplies for my daughter at college and prescrips, etc. I guess I was gone about two hours and do you believe I returned to find that squirrel STILL on my garage? Had not moved at all...and now it had been up there for about 6 hours. I was feeling badly about the whole thing, but whatever, right?
I repeated my speech to him as dinner simmered on the inside of the house. That was when I wondered if this was nature's way of telling me something...so I did an assessment of what I was seeing...
*fear was a paralyzing factor
*freedom was always an option
*looking around may have shown him other vistas or options than just the deadend he was up against.
*one little step at a time...could have made the difference between being stuck and finding some relief.
*he thought he knew what would happen if he moved, but he didn't know.
*nothing about the entire day was scary to anyone else on the deck but him.
*even though I told him he was free, he did not believe me so he kept himself a prisoner for no good reason.
It was 9 PM the last time I looked out at the squirrel. It had been a full 8 hour day of work on his part to remind ME that I am free. I am only limited by my own fear. I will look around more to see what other options I have for JOY in this world. I will take baby steps if I get to a point where I am unsure how to proceed, but proceed: I WILL!
I think I know, but I surely cannot know until I move on.... how things will be....if I get scared, I will ask you for advice and see if you are scared too. If you are not scared, I might not be scared anymore either. The squirrel was gone by morning...clearly, left all stealth-like under the cover of darkness...and so now, the moral of the story.
Surely, I am no prisoner....I am free.
And the squirrel and the Mamie live happily ever after...
