some1 with BPD thinks different things and doesnt think sraight, so make dramatic decision in which can be a something you really dnt want to happen deep down, because your writing on here is a cry for help, because your sacared, by what you may do, BPD is horrible, and iv suffered with it for 6yrs, luckily i contacted the crisis team, and they came within a hr of my call and took me into hospital for my own saftey, but im so thankful i did because the thought of my son/daughter having to live the rest of their life thinking their mum gave up and having to tell my g,daughter that i didnt want to live and see her grow up, just frightens me to death..so i think you need to get yourself to a doctor and tell them exactly how you feel....dnt give in:)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx