I have lived the life I want to live, and am now through.  It seems to odd that there are laws and beliefs that would hinder a persons choices.  I am ready to move on, to walk toward that light.  "How could he know this, feel this way?"  you ask. 
        It is easy.  I have lived a very nice life, but for years I have felt it was my time to go.  I have felt this way since I was 13.  Ten years later and that feeling has not gone away, but it is starting to make it harder to live.  When you start coping with not living very long it gives you a new perspective on life.  You enjoy every day you have, but except that it could be your last.  Most people live a century without realizing this, but I did, and now I am ready to move on. 
       The only thing holding me back is everyone else.  I can't wait to move on and experience what is beyond.  It is so exciting and inviting.  I have had enough here. Sure there are thousands of things on this earth that I have not had the chance to do and see, but I am okay with that.  I love what I have done, and that is plenty for me.  I have never had a long attention span and have always moved from one thing to another in a heart beat, so why should my life in general be any different?  I am ready for the next adventure...and it is not here.
       This mind set is seen as utterly wrong by the world.  It makes me sad.  We hold on to people and don't let them go for our own desires.  We force people into roles, mind sets, and ways of life to fit an outsider's beliefs.  Sorry...I suppose this has become a rant.
        Here's the deal.  I have loved the life I have had, but I am ready for the first step on a new path.  Yet, I remain here, living a life I no longer need because of the people in my life.  I worry how they will react.  I know they won't understand.  I know they will be sad and angry.  I am worried how the people that find my body and how they will react.  All of these thoughts are about other people.  Why do we live in a world where other peoples thoughts rule our own.  I was given one life and living it for the thoughts of others instead of my own seems such a waste. 
         So I am left here, every day planning my departure, but finding too many restraints to leave.  I am left knowing I have lived the life I wanted, but the longer I stay not fulfilling my desires, the less I live a life I want...