another fun start to the month. seems i am also an horrible parent as well as no one wanting to hire me. seems i dont visit my oldest son enough, and didnt play with him enough when he was a kid. the time i spent taking him to beavers and cubs then scouts counts for nothing. the time i spent fighting with schools for him. the fact i gave him money for storage for his stuff which i will never see again. the fact i have helped him move ever single time. the fact that as a military wife i spent most of the time alone and rasing the kids. i had no family help . no mother to call to babysit. i am a terrible parent because his father drinks. i am a terrible parent because i watched tv. i am a terrible parent because i also suffered from a bad depression when the boys where growing up. which explains alot. but i doubt they would understand. i am tired of it all........just so tired. ..........i try and i try and i try........and never seem to get anywhere.....
library had a book sale today . husband told me not to buy anymore books. i did anyway. found a few i can use in my design work. will put them on the bookshelf. he probly wont even notice. also told youngest he has to come do something will his room if he is not gonna move home. asked hime to come over and work on it today. says he will call later if he is gonna come over. ......at this point in the day all i want to do is crawl into bed and never get up again..........
