Recently I talked with a friend about the difference between a girl friend and a girlfriend. When she asked her boyfriend he said the physical stuff. Do I agree? I really don’t know. The same question applies to a boy friend and a boyfriend. Differences in the two are both obvious and subtle, there are some similarities, and I think the two are extremely important in anyone’s life.

            There are some big differences in the two, not that I don’t want my closest guy friends there to hug me when I am hysterically crying (and they have). But there are certain things I never want to think about doing with my boy friends, that I do with a boyfriend. The roles they take on are the biggest difference between them. My best friend, who is a boy, takes on the role of brother and a father voice. His role is strictly platonic friendship and I have enjoyed this kind of “buddy” friendship. A boyfriend or love interest fills the role of romantic/life counter part. The one you see as your equal in other parts of your life, and you feel that attraction and connection to. As we have seen in movies some girls have a guy change his role or have duel roles. But in most people’s lives it’s not the movies. Vice verse in these roles for my guy friends to talk about girls. There have been times that I have said the statement, “Ew. Please remember I am a girl,” to one of the many inapposite things my guys have done or said to me. Their response is, “Yeah but you are you. You don’t count as a girl.” I have the role of being sister, mom, and therapist. I love these roles that I play for them. But when I am seeing someone the roles are different. It’s hard to exactly see from a guy’s point of view but through observations I see the differences.

            But things are often confusing with similarities. Joking and just being yourself is something you need to be about to do with a boy friend and a boyfriend, and the girl friend and girlfriend. Also when problems are weighing you down you need to be able to go to both. You sometimes don’t want to be a “downer” to your significant other so you confide in a close friend. Or times when you need to vent about that person. And on the flip side you can go to the boyfriend when things are rough with you and the boy friend. Both can be trusted and both are people you know love you for you.

            With that in mind they really should be allies to one another…. to a point. A relationship of mine was strained because the boyfriend did not want to get to know, like, or trust the best boy friend. Even after assurance he still had a jealous and possessive attitude. If he would have taken the time he would realize there was no threat, and he could have used the best friend for help in many situations. But he created an enemy. And again with the roles, you do not want to piss off the big brother type in a girl’s life. But I digress. When needing help with someone who better to help you then their best friend? And if that person is a member or your sex that can be helpful to you. Also all those great presents? I have gone Christmas and birthday shopping many times to help my guys find their girlfriends some good gifts. My boy friends have made things pretty sweet for the guys I date. Teaching me to shut up during movies even when I find them stupid. What things guys like and dislike.