PaigeLe'Editor's tags:
Dearest Doranuts22foryou,
 
I see you've been invading the posts of others with your rambling again.
I know, deep down, you feel you're doing everyone a great service by writing those comments; those little snippets that show us the inner workings of your mind.  There isn't much inside, is there?
I also know that you think you are saving these people from themselves.
I know it must be difficult for you, darling; living alone with all those cats, losing your K-Mart credit account, not to mention the mental and hygiene challenges you struggle with on a day to day basis.
 However, we must control our urges, if we wish to remain free to mingle with the SoulCast community. 
Junie and I will be unable to salvage your book if you continue to lose your marbles in the public arena.
Don't you want that K-Mart account back?
Didn't you once tell me that someday, you'd like to visit the Mall of America and the Calf Fry Festival in Vinita?
Junie and I can make that happen, darling!
We can make you a King/Queen if only you would SHUT THE HELL UP!
Now be a good little Dora and take your medication every day like Dr. G said and we won't have to drag you back to the LOONY BIN!
 
Your Underpaid and Over-stressed Editor,
Paige
 
 


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Comments

  • junioreditor said on Oct 07, 2008....

    Oh, how the mighty have fallen!  I simply cannot believe it has come to this.  Paige, why didn’t we heed the warning signs?  Why did we not remove our collective heads from our collective derrieres, flex our collective texting fingers, and beg everyone we know to rescue us from this madness??????


    Regarder:

     

    From the desk of BB

    To: Paige, June, Lucy

    CC: Ex, Rolling, KMT, Travelr, et al

    BCC: Zen Yenta, Style Writer

     

    Rejoice minions, for happy days are here again, in more ways than one!

    She of the fair hair and lithe body…

    She of the generous rack and petulant mouth…

    She of the breathy voice and limited vocabulary…

    has agreed to bless our union with an heir or two!

     

    To that end, Bambi and I will be visiting as many third world countries over the weekend as her delicate sensibilities can stand, and will bring home as many lucky orphan children as is legally permitted, ala our dear friends, the Brangalinas.

     

    In honor of the blessed event, BB Lit will announce the launch of a new imprint, to be called “Bambi Baby”.

    I’m sure Ms. Torial and marketing will put together a brilliant campaign, in spite of the short notice.

     

    The first release under that banner will be a book of alternative baby names.


    Paige, this will, in essence, be your baby. The children Mrs. B and I will bring home will, of necessity, need new names. We can’t expect Bambi to pronounce foreign names, now can we?

     

    June, you and Paige have access to myriad alternative names, enough for two books, on that internet place you and she waste company time chatting on, don’t you?  Surprised? What do you think I pay Expendable for?

    At any rate, dip into that pool for as many alt names as you can, if you catch my drift.

     

    That’s it for today, people. Get to work.

     

    B.

     

  • junioreditor said on Oct 07, 2008....
    Knock, knock
    Paige, are you busy?
    Lucy will be in soon...something about a toilet roll? I'm not sure.

    Paige, we have to put a guard on Doranuts, asap. Did you know she took a job as a gardener?  I don't understand. She lives one block from Gristedes!  And they deliver!  Why is she working for produce??

    PRODUCE, Darling, edible things that grow in the ground!  She's working for a retiree upstate, tilling, and..and..HOEING, for Gods sake!

    No, Darling...hoe-ing....those little farmer people do it.  Well, I don't know, do I??

    Yes, a messenger just brought her latest pages. But they're filled with typos, misspellings.  But I noticed something, Dear. Have a look.......doesn't the writing strike you as being very familiar?  Very..er...Client-like?
    I thought so.
  • PaigeLe'Editor said on Oct 07, 2008....
    Junie, darling!  I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who noticed!
    Adoratips, Junie?
    I just made them for you!
     
    A book of baby names?
    Well alright, how bad can that be?
    I mean it simply couldn't get any worse!
  • junioreditor said on Oct 07, 2008....

    Not just baby names, Paige, “alternative” baby names…alt names, if you will. Think Pax…umm…Maddox…Andorapple…Cam…Wormhilda..Catch…anything the average deranged, attention seeking narcissist would name their offspring. Thunderpussy! Well, one never knows, does one!?

     

    If they bring home a little BB, jr, they could call him Monkeyboy…if a little girl is unlucky enough to be caught in Bambi’s crosshairs…Curezilla would be…stop laughing, stop! *giggle* Drat! Now I have to use the loo!

  • PaigeLe'Editor said on Oct 08, 2008....
    Mmm!  I do believe you're on to something!
  • Expendable said on Oct 13, 2008....
    Oh god, now it's "throw-away clones". I love how they talk about "transfering" when we're no where near being able to do that.
  • junioreditor said on Oct 13, 2008....
    Good morning dear Ex, aren't you the early bird? I don't believe anyone else has arrived at work yet.
    Well, never mind. That leaves more scones for us, doesn't it?
    Oh...clones!
    Clones? I don't.......oh, our Client has been released from hospital?
    He's completed two chapters already?
    We had best rally the troops. It looks as though we have our work cut out for us.

  • junioreditor said on Oct 14, 2008....
    MEMO

    To: PAige, et al
    re: Whom else?

    I suppose we can do something with this dreck. I'm sending over a Bartletts so Client can get his quotes correct, at least.
    If he's hellbent on channeling Paul Newman, he should know the correct quote is as follows:

     "Happens to everybody. Horses, dogs, men. Nobody gets out of life alive."

  • Expendable said on Oct 14, 2008....

    It's amazing what the client thinks they can get away with sometime. Who made them the boogy man? Very sloppy work - but then I guess that's why we're here.

  • junioreditor said on Oct 14, 2008....
    Well, at least we've found a way to keep Steve "Catch" Meifyoucan and his 40-odd personalities out of the building. Our Client was spotted harassing Steve whilst Steve was chatting to himself on his mobile about going fishing with Brittany SpearsClient was giving "Catch" some hot tips about fish entrails, I believe, when security appeared to escort Steve out of the building.
    My heavens, we certainly do work in a strange place, don't we?

  • PaigeLe'Editor said on Oct 14, 2008....
    Andoratips anyone?

Comment on "Dearest Doranuts22foryou,"

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