Oh, how the mighty have fallen! I simply cannot believe it has come to this. Paige, why didn’t we heed the warning signs? Why did we not remove our collective heads from our collective derrieres, flex our collective texting fingers, and beg everyone we know to rescue us from this madness??????
Regarder:
From the desk of BB
To: Paige, June, Lucy
CC: Ex, Rolling, KMT, Travelr, et al
BCC: Zen Yenta, Style Writer
Rejoice minions, for happy days are here again, in more ways than one!
She of the fair hair and lithe body…
She of the generous rack and petulant mouth…
She of the breathy voice and limited vocabulary…
has agreed to bless our union with an heir or two!
To that end, Bambi and I will be visiting as many third world countries over the weekend as her delicate sensibilities can stand, and will bring home as many lucky orphan children as is legally permitted, ala our dear friends, the Brangalinas.
In honor of the blessed event, BB Lit will announce the launch of a new imprint, to be called “Bambi Baby”.
I’m sure Ms. Torial and marketing will put together a brilliant campaign, in spite of the short notice.
The first release under that banner will be a book of
alternative baby names.
Paige, this will, in essence, be your baby. The children Mrs. B and I will bring home will, of necessity, need new names. We can’t expect Bambi to pronounce foreign names, now can we?
June, you and Paige have access to myriad alternative names, enough for two books, on that internet place you and she waste company time chatting on, don’t you? Surprised? What do you think I pay Expendable for?
At any rate, dip into that pool for as many alt names as you can, if you catch my drift.
That’s it for today, people. Get to work.
B.
Not just baby names, Paige, “alternative” baby names…alt names, if you will. Think Pax…umm…Maddox…Andorapple…Cam…Wormhilda..Catch…anything the average deranged, attention seeking narcissist would name their offspring. Thunderpussy! Well, one never knows, does one!?
If they bring home a little BB, jr, they could call him Monkeyboy…if a little girl is unlucky enough to be caught in Bambi’s crosshairs…Curezilla would be…stop laughing, stop! *giggle* Drat! Now I have to use the loo!
It's amazing what the client thinks they can get away with sometime. Who made them the boogy man? Very sloppy work - but then I guess that's why we're here.