ana's_soul's tags:
ana's_soul's most popular posts:
ana's_soul reads (9):
Who's reading ana's_soul (8):

The page you were looking for no longer exists

Drowning again!; Give me air!

ana's_soul posted on Oct 03, 2008 | views: 199 | Tags: this is a life, illness, spiders
I'm blank. I'm not here.
 
I'm not you. I'm not me!
 
Help me. I need help. Is it too wrong to ask for help?
I sit here. Thinking, pondering. Nothing enters my mind but yet i am writing this post. How strange if ya ask me...
 
My mom is driving me mad, like usual,. But she isn't bothering me, I don't know what is really. Can't sleep again. Can't eat ... But I'm not depressed..
 
Every now and then,, it is strange. My eyes seem to go hazey and it is like i'm not in my body. All the figures I see are haunting and illuminated. Like they are bubbles with shape. How strange is what i say to myself. How very strange.
 
Life for me is wierd. One minute, I am me. The next, It is like i am possesed and looking at myself. This occurs very often. More often than i would like but it does happen.
 
Last night was the wierdest though,
 
I guess i should start 2 nights ago. I was almost asleep after i lay in bed for 1 hour, And out of nowhere this sharp pain hit the back of my leg towards the back of my knee cap. It was as if a spider bite or something was there. It had two bites... like :   one right next to the other.. I just thought it was a bite or something. I got out of bed and shook my sheets. I'm in north U.S.A so we usually don't have poisonous anything... And i never seen any spider...
 
I shrugged it off. The next day it itched and i felt weak.
 
The next night, I felt a presence in my bedroom. I don't know what sort of presence but it was definately something. I felt like it was bad. It was like it was watching me. Just waiting for something. I wonder what it was. Then, My whole body felt cold and a shot of adrenaline attacked my body. My heart raced. I still dont know what it was but it scared me. I jumped out of bed, Turned on the light, and seen nothing. I went back to bed and i had no feeling what-so-ever of a prensence again. I figured it was in my head.
 
Do you think i'm crazy?


send to a friend del.icio.us Digg reddit StumbleUpon

Comments

  • moonriver said on Oct 03, 2008....
    sometimes when we think too much about certain things, especially at night when our brains are begging for sleep but sleep doesn't come, our minds start playing tricks on us, even startlingly physical stuff like we hear voices that aren't there, shadows that disappear, pains that shoot up our limbs like you described... scary things.

    the trick is to drink some warm milk, play some soothing music, and go get some sleep. if you can't sleep, read a relaxing book, then try to catch forty winks. you aren't crazy. your mind is simply desperate for sleep. i read your earlier blogs, you're a smart girl.

  • ana's_soul said on Oct 03, 2008....
    Moonriver-

    Those are not the only encounters with dark feelings. I hear things in my ceiling. When i walk by this certain corner in my house... i feel someone watching me. Have you ever gotten that creepy feeling like someone is watching???
  • moonriver said on Oct 03, 2008....
    well, it's also possible that your sixth sense is so well-developed that you can pick up the presence of forces -- mostly benign entities, some malignant ones, other neutral ones -- that science cannot as yet understand. my sister is like that, a niece is also like that.

    no need to worry. just ask help from someone who can teach you to harness your 6th sense. but, at the same time, you must be physically fit to use this sense with control and accuracy. so get some sleep, and eat something! :-)

  • closetkeeper said on Oct 06, 2008....
    You could be flirting with psychosis.  if you have been abused for a long time, or have had extreme emotional pain, your mind may be trying to escape.  It sounds like disassociation.  Whatever you do, do not smoke pot.  I know everybody does it, but it will only make disassociation worse.  See if you can get to a free therapist or shrink and tell them about these experiences.  It sounds like you could be nearing hallucinations as well.  I am not a shrink, but take it seriously and you can make yourself better instead of worse.  You may need to take an anti-psychotic.

    Be careful and good luck.  Most people will not talk about these things and even shrinks and therapists do not know that much about the mind, emotions and how the two interact.
  • Expendable said on Oct 07, 2008....
    Sounds like a spider bite to me. Do you hear strange noises or notice anything odd?
  • ana's_soul said on Oct 07, 2008....
    i'm not sure... I have talked to a therapist/counselor/shrink they said i was CRAZY! But i believe it has something to do with the mind trying to escape...
     
    Stress is a major role in this type of thing... i don't smoke pot so... yeah.
     
    ~ana

Comment on "Drowning again!; Give me air!"

this is a life illness spiders (Click to add tags below)

(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Comment Anonymously

On The Flu That Oinks, Big Time

pickersplock posted on Oct 28, 2009 | views: 172 | Tags: SWINE FLU, illness, family, flu, Now I Know, madness, swine
An incoherent rambling on what happens to the body after a weeks worth of sick.... read entire post 32 comments