This is the end. All there is left to do is decide how to end it. Who will tell our family. Who will leave. To go where. With what.
These decisions are the sum total of a lifetime together.

He said he's done with it. I told him I was done with it years ago, but he had promised he'd change. It's my fault, he said, because I refuse to forget the past, or to let him forget all he's done to make me stop loving him. He hated my friends, my family, my humor, my opinions, my taste in clothes, the way I treated my kids.

 He didn't like laughter, spontaneity, holidays. Vacations were planned to the minute...wake up at this time, eat breakfast at this time, go to the beach at this time, lay on the sand for this amount of time, etc, etc, etc. A lifetime of rigid control. Nothing could change. Don't move the furniture. Don't shop at a different store. Don't cook different meals. Don't change the routine. He said "I can't live this way" whenever I protested. He left for a short time, but came back. I think he just didn't want to be alone.

He killed me, slowly, over 26 years. Three years ago he decided he couldn't live that way, so he would change.  And now, tonight, he said "I can't live this way." Because I told him I offered to work Thanksgiving for a co-worker.
"You never think of anyone but yourself."
He said that to me. After 29 years of doing everything he wanted me to do so he could "live that way".
There is nothing left inside my heart for him...no love, no sympathy, nothing. No feeling at all. He once told me I was the coldest woman he's ever known. And now I'm the coldest woman I've ever known. That's what I've become so I can live this way.