I'm sure you all have battled insomnia at some time or another and know
how frustrating and exhausting it is to be sleep deprived. The past couple of weeks I've only been able to maintain 3-4 hours sleep per night, and that's on a good night too. Yet again I am stumped as to what is causing this as I aren't doing anything that wouldn't normally be done to disrupt my sleeping patterns.
This was last night: 10-00pm go to bed. Fall asleep around 12.30am and awaken at 2am. It takes another half hour to fall back asleep only to awaken again at 3.40am by a bad dream. Sleep comes again about 4.30am to awaken at 4.55 to the sound of hundreds of birds chirping away...as nice as nature sounds this incessant array of chirping and bird calls makes me feel like I'm going mad in some spun out bird kingdom!
Sleep beyond 5am this time is very rare as the noise of cars and the birds increases, trucks are allowed down my street after 6am and believe me, they come in a constant stream of heavy noise. Right now it is 12pm and I have a pounding headache...sitting in front of the computer typing blogs doesn't help that but I'm nearly done!
This sleep deprived state only adds to my stress levels which causes me to become isolated so I'm not a cranky bastard to everyone! Having to put on a normal happy face when going to work or just out is a chore in itself. Thank God I'm not depressed. My head feels empty yet full of a constant dissonance of background thoughts, songs and my minds voice talking it's usual what I'm thinking. I refuse to take a sleeping tablet as they only make things worse and I need a 2-3 x recommended dose to get the achieved effect of sleep so it's detrimental for me to take them.
So I just lay there, in between short sleeps in a meditative state just laying completely still on my back, silencing my thoughts to aid in drifting off to sleep. I know this sleeplessness isn't caused by thinking too much at night as I deliberately forget and always make decisions before going to sleep. This helps to get any sleep at all, and I am grateful for the few broken hours of sleep I do get as it is much better than no sleep at all.
To finish up, thanks for reading! I may try to have a small early arvo sleep after some lunch.
Love n Light to all
Ton
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thegayfuckup posted on Sep 29, 2008
| views: 187
Comments
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starchini said on Sep 30, 2008....
wow...that has got to suck...u have no idea why? Hmm.. there has got to be a reason. Maybe not enough physical activity? I got really bad insomnia when i lived alone and was told it was from lack of excersize. I went for a good run, and bam, out like a light. That may not be u though...interesting...Id give a good therapist a call. When in doubt, ask an expert. -
thegayfuckup said on Oct 01, 2008....
Starchini, physical activity levels haven't changed for some while although I know exercise is beneficial, I may just try a run or brisk walk later this arvo and see how it goes tonight for my sleep.
Thanks for the reply!
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starchini said on Oct 02, 2008....
So how did u sleep? Did the walk help? -
Lydias-secret said on Oct 02, 2008....
Earplugs can help. And herbal tablets (not sleeping tablets - agree they are a bad idea) as long as you dont rely on them x -
ana's_soul said on Oct 03, 2008....
I know exactly how you feel gay fuck up,By the way, I refer to myself as a gay fuck up too...and also a lunatic.. but that is a whole different side of the bed...I have the same sort of sleeping patterns that you have. It feels as if i can't settle my mind enough to fall into sleep. I've tried EVERYTHING! It just never seems to work. Have you found a way to sleep since you've written this post??If yes, I would LOVE to know what you did...And also, I'm sure you havn't fucked up as hard or as many times as me..~ana -
ana's_soul said on Oct 03, 2008....
I know exactly how you feel gay fuck up,By the way, I refer to myself as a gay fuck up too...and also a lunatic.. but that is a whole different side of the bed...I have the same sort of sleeping patterns that you have. It feels as if i can't settle my mind enough to fall into sleep. I've tried EVERYTHING! It just never seems to work. Have you found a way to sleep since you've written this post??If yes, I would LOVE to know what you did...And also, I'm sure you havn't fucked up as hard or as many times as me..~ana -
ana's_soul said on Oct 03, 2008....
i hate my computer.. it is slow so it ends up posting 300000 comments... well, i bet you get the point now... :) -
PAPERBACKWRITER said on Oct 03, 2008....
Hope you are sleeping better, Ton.
paper ~
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lionesss said on Oct 03, 2008....
well i suffer badly with insomnia, i do take sleeping tablets , lack of sleep brings on my seizures and that i can do with out as i end up in hospital for weeks on end and that sucks,, maybe you are a little depressed but you dnt realise it???,if you are still giving up the cigeretts that will be a frustrating time for you also and it could be adding to the lack of sleep?? anyway how is that going, my son has managed to stay off them,, why dont you try hot milky drink with honey? or st johns wort herbel med, but if you are taking any other prescribed med then check with the doctor 1st has it does clash with some,, i hope this is of some help :)xx -
thegayfuckup said on Oct 05, 2008....
Thanks so much everyone for your comments, the walk did help and I have subsequently began a nightly ritual of walking for an hour each evening. Now I wish I had a dog to walk but don't want one that will fuck my garden up and ruin my precious poppies!
In the past I indulged quite heavily with sleeping pills/benzo's, thus have a tolerance to sleepers now which is a shame. Only 2mg+ of Xanax will knock me out but they are so goddamn addictive.
ana's soul...I would also refer to myself as a lunatic sometimes!!!
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starchini said on Oct 06, 2008....
Oh good im glad uve found a solution. U can train ur dog to stay out of ur poppies...or u can put a cute little decorative fence up around them : ) Dogs are also a natural anit depressant. I think thats an excellent idea for u to get a dog. Little ones are easiest to care for and i think they give the most lovin : ) ohoh get a chihuahua! -
satanx said on Oct 06, 2008....
This all fits into the plan. Stay the course. You fit in well!
Comment on "Insomnia...an Old Adversary."
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