I guess that I'm not going to therapy today. My therapist is ill unfortunately. What can I do to pass the time today? Do I try and read a book? Do I go out wandering? Do I sleep all day? Do I draw a picture or two? I have no idea as to what I want to do.
I am definetely thinking about doing a reversing spell. See, I have changed. I hardly ever raise my voice in a mean manner anymore due to my meds. Also mom said that she couldn't handle it if I was nasty to her. I know that I have changed. Does that make it ok for her to raise her voice at me? She sets a great example for me. She implied that I was getting nasty when I simply asked a question. She was like, "Why did you ask me like that?" Also, the neighbor that I was mad at for snapping at me claimed that I snap at her while I am zoning out. I know that's either a lie or I get possessed and don't remember doing it. Hell I don't get it. Why is everyone ganging up on me? I'm being as mild and docile as I can be here. I think that I am getting emotionally and mentally abused while manipulated. Perhaps if I send their negativity back to them, they'll learn not to pull that shit. I know that I don't have to keep their negativity clinging to my fucking aura. They both have good points to them. Don't get me wrong. I just feel abused. Perhaps they both need medication themselves. They say mental illness runs in families. I know that they'd like to make me believe that I'm the only one with a problem. I think that most of the world is like that. It's a damn shame. I have to forgive them in a sense though. They have done good things for me too. Perhaps the reversing spell will also return their good deeds to them. I'm due for one of those spells anyway. It's either that or something else. I haven't done a reversing spell in a while. I know that I deal with alot of negativity though. I don't think that I was being nasty. I think they were messing with my head and trying to brainwash me into losing myself and obeying their every whim. Control freaks!
