My husband came to me two days ago.  He was right on time, as the past week or so has been extremely difficult.  As soon as I felt like I was dealing with his death, and getting our life back on track, I plummeted back into grief.

 

I had been a shell of myself.  Crying all throughout the day became normal.  I was hurting because my children were hurting.  This last week has been me grieving for them, as they have been hurting and acting out.  I don't know how to deal with their constant attitude changes- from sad to angry to whiny to defiant.  Everyone has been on edge in the house.

 

I had been getting so much better, able to remember him and talk to him without crying.  My son's breakdown really got to me, and I hadn't been able to hold it in at all.  Then Friday night, he came to me.  My husband actually came to me.  It was so uplifting, and I have only cried once since. 

 

My oldest son was standing in the hallway to the den, telling me about his day.  I was laying on the sofa, and I noticed a plume of smoke behind him rise up to the ceiling.  The smoke didn't come from anywhere, it just started in mid-air and rose up until it dissapeared. 

 

I was listening to my son, until the smoke caught my eye.  It wasn't something out of the corner of my eye.  It was in mid air directly behind my son, slowly swirling up to the ceiling.  You would think that smoke would equal panic, but it made me feel so serene.  I began smiling and staring at the smoke behind my son while he was talking, and he paused and turned around to see what I was looking at.  It had dissapated by then, but I was still staring because I knew it was my husband.  He was showing me that he was right here with us, in spirit, in energy.

 

My son kept asking me what I was looking at, and I just smiled and shook my head.  He shrugged his shoulders, and seeing that I was preoccipied, he walked back to his room.  I whispered- "I knew you were here."  a few times and just had a warm feeling come over me.  It was happiness and I have never questioned that was my husband.  I know it was him.  A few minutes later, as I was reveling in my joy, the lights only in the den (where I was) began flickering .

 

 I didn't want to alarm the children, or confuse them anymore, so I haven't shared with them what happened.  They do notice that Mommi is feeling better, and they have been feeling better too.  I did google ADC- After Death Communication, and looked into different accounts of experiences of the bereaved.  It gave me validation of what I experienced, even though I didn't need any.  My husband is here with us, what I had been praying for.  I have only cried once since then, and they were tears of joy that he was okay, and still watching over us.

 

Thank you all for your kinds messages and comments.  I am trying to get through this and SoulCast has given me an outlet for my grief.  Thank you for not letting me go through this completely alone.