Flatlines aren't just on EKG machines. Everything stops as far as you are concerned. Heartbeat, eating, sleeping, drinking, lovemaking, finances. Unlike heartbeats these things rarely are an off and on phenomenon. The cvar keys get taken away. Your checkbook is regretfully removed from yoru control. Your friends don't visit anymore because they have had their own BIG flatlines.
With that in mind, the blood pressure machine at Walgreen's offers to store your info and display it to you as a chart. This historical representation is getting interesting now that I've been keeping track for several months. There are fluctuations that I recall being worrisome and then they went away with no explanation i can nail down. The equilibrium of my body becomes evident and with this observation I (and my beloved Dyingman blog enthusiasts [meaning, Secretlife and maybe a lurker or two]) can use to truly identify problems. WHAT is abnoirmal for me. Surely Dr Coolidge won't be able to tell at any given appointment. He can only compare me to other 42 year olds. This isn't as useful as a true, personal baseline.
You'll recall I went over the purpose of teh annoying behavior of health technicians in hospitals in Dyingman 59 ("The Pressure is Killing Me"). They take your vitals every hour, it seems, to learn what is "normal" for you as an individual. Is you temperature 97.4 all the time, or is something wrong? Is 75 a racing pulse, or is that normal because you're out of shape?
This graphic presentation is amusing and allows a person to get an instant idea of how I'm doing. Soon I plan to include a graphic presentation of how well I'm taking care of myself. I'll include it in the Chart section. Should I fall victim to accident, or disease, expect these numbers to plunge towards "flatline", assuming I'm able to update the blog in my state of ill health. Perhaps we'll see that some flatlines precede the long beep that says R.I.P.
*DM
Next: Dyingman's Health Club: You get what you pay for.
THE CHART:
This Week's Fitness Activities:
Strokes on Bike (daily average) 20
Bench Presses (daily average) 2
Curls (daily average) 0
Lifts (daily average) 0
Stairs (flights per day) 12
Walking (minutes per day) 2
Heavy bag (seconds per day) 40
Dancing (minutes per day) 5
Push Ups (per day) 7
Sit-ups (per day) 3
Effort Grade: A
Pulse: 85!
Blood Pressure: 115/75 9/24/08
BMI 25 (barely overweight)
Workout Partner's Progress: Position VacantRECENT SYMPTOMS : None
ONGOING SYMPTOMS: Clicking knees, Pain in right knee when kneeling and shifting knee to the right. Hyperhidrosis.
DIAGNOSIS: Unknown injury to right knee, possible impact from small stumble (c. 2006) onto landing of concrete stairs. Injured knee joints from sprinting (c. 2007)DRUG REGIMEN: Aspartame. (3 diet sodas daily) Caffeine (three cups of coffee daily. two colas.)ONGOING TREATMENT: Tri-Annual dental visits.
PROGNOSIS: Gradual decay of knee function.
POTENTIAL TREATMENTS: Fish Oil supplements. Axillary vacuum curettage.
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