Today I got talked into attending a Tupperware party with Nat. I figured it would be really lame but she wanted me to go anyway. She said there would be other men there, so I took her word for it. She was right though. There were some other men there, because the person who put the party on just invited all her neighbors. She promised free food and that usually works to get most people to show up.
The food was a chicken that the Tupperware lady cooked in the microwave inside of this special dish they sell. I kept asking her if it was really going to get cooked all the way without being dry or rubbery and she promised it would. She said it was miraculous and she used it all the time at home. I was pretty interested to see how this turned out actually. It smelled pretty good cooking, but I still didn't believe it would taste good.
When it finally came out, she cut off pieces and let everyone try it. It was alright I guess. It wasn't dry or rubbery. She didn't season it enough though so it was pretty tasteless. I like a lot of flavor in my food and this wasn't so great. But I at least believed the microwave Tupperware thingy did it's job.
At least until I went into the kitchen to get more to drink and I saw the remains of the chicken sitting there. It was totally raw. Nasty! She'd just cut off the top part that was cooked, and the rest of the chicken was still completely raw and pink. Perfect. Now I was probably going to get salmonella poisoning again. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I finally got a diagnosis about my stomach ailments....salmonella. But I'll get to that in a minute.)
So basically this miraculous chicken cooker sucked. And she served us all half raw chicken pieces. Needless to say, I didn't eat any more of that. But then she promised us a wonderful lemon cake that she would make in the microwave too. But she didn't use any eggs or oil, just a can of 7-up. Interesting. I'd never seen a cake made with that before. I didn't have a lot of faith in it after the chicken thing.
But when it came out, it didn't taste half bad. It looked really bad though and was definitely no where near resembling a cake you could actually serve to people whole. She had to scoop pieces out of it, while she swore it never usually sticks to everything like it was doing. Poor Tupperware lady. Her demonstration wasn't going so well. But at least the cake was safe to eat.
All in all it was actually fun, mostly because I'd finally gotten out of the house for a change. And socializing with people is exactly what I needed to do. At one part of the demonstration, there was some sort of Tupperware CD container that she was saying would be great for traveling. And one of the women there asked if it was microwave safe. What? Why would you be microwaving your CD's? I busted up laughing and couldn't stop. I guess I'm easily amused.
Anyway, in other news, like I mentioned above, I did get a more firm diagnosis about my stomach problems. Apparently the infection I had was caused by food poisoning. They weren't sure if it was salmonella or e. coli, but it was one of the two. And if it's really bad and you don't get it treated, it can cause an infection in your intestines just like what I had.
This all made a lot of sense to me because a few months ago I got food poisoning from Subway. In fact, Nat and I both got sick from it. But she got better a lot faster than I did. I might have eaten more of the poisonous food than she did. I'm not sure. But it made me sick, and since that time, I never felt 100% good again. And it just kept getting worse and worse, until I ended up at the hospital--twice.
But I was told that a second course of antibiotics for a longer period of time, really should take care of it this time. The problem was that I might not have killed it all with the first round, and it just keeps coming back. But I am taking these damn pills for what seems like forever, so they better work. I feel fine now. Again. But I still have several days left, so we'll see what happens.
But I can tell you this, I'm NEVER eating at Subway again. I haven't since the night I got sick off it. And now that I'm pretty sure that was the cause of all this bullshit, I will never step foot in there again. I've even had nightmares about eating there. No more sandwiches for me. Not from there. I don't want to end up in the hospital again.
In unrelated news, I got a call from my mom yesterday. She sounded a little out of it and I had no idea what was wrong with her at first. But apparently she had gone outside to do something, and she was walking down the sidewalk when she came across a lizard. It was just sitting there and didn't scurry away when she approached it. She didn't want to step on it so she tried to avoid it. But then she stepped wrong and twisted her ankle and fell down into a pile of decorative rocks.
Ouch! She said she sprained her wrist, smashed her hip and shoulder, squished her boob and banged her head. My poor mom. I felt so bad for her. But she was on a bunch of painkillers and that's why she sounded so out of it. I tried to convince her to see a doctor but she swore she was fine. She said she was tough and wasn't going to let a lizard send her to the emergency room.
She said that mostly she felt like an idiot because she was laying in her yard and the neighbor had to come help her up. She was mad because she said she felt like the old woman from those commercials back when I was a kid. "Help! I've fallen...and I can't get up!" She was embarrassed more than anything, even if her body is one giant bruise now.
I tried to tell her that it's not just old people who fall down. I've fallen down. Of course she told me it doesn't count if I'm falling down because I'm drunk. At least I have an excuse. Very funny, Mom. That's not what I was talking about! One time I was walking through a parking lot (not drunk) and I stepped in a pothole and went crashing down on my face. Not my finest moment. And it is embarrassing as hell to be laying there on the ground like a moron.
But it happens! So she shouldn't feel bad. I just hope she feels okay now. She called me earlier and said she slept like shit because she couldn't get comfortable. And now her hip is swollen up and she says she looks like she's got an orange in her pocket.
So anyway, that's what's been going on with me lately. Not that exciting, but there you have it!
evil_twin posted on Sep 27, 2008
| views: 282
Comments
-
PAPERBACKWRITER said on Sep 27, 2008....
bookmarking to read tomorrow, dear Kyle!
<3
paper ~
-
Twylarants said on Sep 27, 2008....
Kyle, your most boring day is still like a really good sitcom. Not that salmonella and face-planting are funny...they're only funny when you tell it!
I'm glad you're feeling better, finally, and I hope your mother heals quickly.
-
Mr_Box said on Sep 27, 2008....
Mom sure did get messed up over a stupid lizard huh? I didn't find out about it until today though. I tried to tell her to see a doctor too because I was worried that she hit her head. But I guess she's alright. Still stubborn as ever, so that's a good sign.I won't be eating at Subway anymore either. I don't want to eat a diseased BMT. That really sucks that you think that was the cause of all this shit. But I'm glad you're finally feeling better again.Tupperware party? You do live an exciting life don't you? ;-) So did you guys buy anything? -
travelr712 said on Sep 27, 2008....
welcome back kyle, i missed you! -
CayenneMan said on Sep 28, 2008....
Wow that's pretty cool evil twin, my wife and her friends are having a tupperware party this week too. They always seem to have these parties at my house, I don't mind but I stay away during these parties. I think the ladies plan these parties to get away from they're husbands. I attended a couple of these " Tupperware Parties " and it seems like at my wife's parties more money is spent on preparation on food and drink then could ever be recouped by the sales of the tupperware that is sold . . . I don't get it but I keep my mouth shut and just sit outside watching my grass grow.
As far as the food poisening thing goes you have to be careful. Especially with the possibility of injesting raw chicken or tainted vegetables. I try to stay away from doctors. I have a nose like a blood hound I can smell bad food. If I feel I could have a problem coming on I keep it in check with the use of garlic & cayenne pepper. It always has worked for me, besides I'm afraid if I start taking antibiotics now my body will become immune to them and they won't work for me when I get older.
I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's fall. I hope she recovers quickly. I myself try not to hurt any of God's creatures too. Like for instance If I'm about to walk down a flight of steps and I reach for the railing and suddenly I see a wasp or a big spider sitting on it . . . I'll avoid it even if I end up bouncing down the steps like a beach ball !
-
FutureGoddess said on Sep 28, 2008....
I am so happy they found a diagnosis! Phew - it's always better knowing what it is.
But, I always love your posts Kyle. You always make the bad sound interesting if not funny - it's a fantabulous way to look at the world.
-
diabolicdame said on Sep 28, 2008....
See I never eat Subway.. and now I have a good reason becuase people always say "What? You don't like subway??".. nope!! And I have always hated lizards.. see what nasty evil creatures they are? Ugh! And that lady just fed people the skin of that raw chicken? Eww man.. so gross! See I have never eaten chicken.. I'm a vegetarian!!hehehehe.. what a strange comment this is.. pardon me.. I'm on painkillers too.. I have two infected swollen wisdom teeth gums.. sigh! -
pickersplock said on Sep 28, 2008....
When I think tupperware, I think food storage.I'm not so sure the cooking thing is a good idea.She probably wasn't a very good cook either!I hope your Mom feels better! -
evil_twin said on Sep 28, 2008....
paper--Thanks for stopping by :-)
twyla--Thank you :-) I'm glad even my most boring day is entertaining! I hope my mom feels better soon too.
Mr. Box--I do lead an exciting life huh? :-P Of course we bought something. You have to buy at least one overpriced piece of crap you don't need, just to be polite. But we didn't buy the chicken cooker. We bought some sort of produce bin that claims to keep fresh vegetables fresh for several weeks. We'll see if it works. It better for $30!
Trav--I haven't gone anywhere, but thanks!
Cayenne--You should rethink attending the Tupperware party. I was labeled "the bestest husband in all the world" for sitting through all that AND paying attention. Keep that in mind because you just might be rewarded later for that. I'm going to be more careful where I eat from now on, that's for sure. And I hope my mom gets better soon too.
FG--Thank you :-) I'm glad you enjoy my posts. And it is a relief to have a pretty good idea what caused my problems now. Especially since it's nothing that scary.
dia--After seeing that raw chicken, I was thinking I'd rather be a vegetarian too! I hope your mouth feels better soon. Are you getting your wisdom teeth out?
pickers--Tupperware is not just for storage anymore! It's versatile and is wonderful for so many things. (Can you tell I was paying attention yesterday?) They actually sell soaps and lotions and towels and food too. But I don't think anyone who cooks all their meals in a microwave is that good of a cook :-P
-
diabolicdame said on Sep 28, 2008....
Yes and since this comment.. a third one is beginning to peek as well.. these suckers hurt!! -
CayenneMan said on Sep 28, 2008....
Hello diabolicdame, If I could I'd be willing to take your pain I know about them wisdom teeth. Over the years I've put up with alot of painful injuries. But I'm telling you little girl, those babies grabbed my attention and grabbed it fast. I had to swish root bear soda around in my mouth all night until my dentist appointment the next day. Thank God he fixed me up. I hope you feel better soon.
I don't know if you ever watched Seinfeld ? But I liked the episode when Kramer went to the dentist.
Sorry evil twin I don't like seeing a pretty girl in pain . . . actually I don't like seeing anybody in pain.
-
RollingC said on Sep 28, 2008....
Diabolic.... the skin of chicken is extremely tasty when fried in it's own fat.....and crunchy too. But that's about it though...I think.... it's chuck full of cholesterol I think and not supposed to be healthy for you in the long run.
Rc
Is mr happyface responsible for the bad tags ? or were they up already? -
evil_twin said on Sep 28, 2008....
*sigh*
A little help with the tags please? Stupid motherfucker.....
-
evil_twin said on Sep 28, 2008....
Thanks to whoever helped me get rid of those tags. Apparently someone has too much time on their hands.
dia--I'm sorry your teeth are hurting :-( I hope you get them taken care of soon!
Cayenne--No problem. I hope some of your tips can help her.
Rc--Those tags were definitely not mine! I like chicken skin when it's all crunchy. And turkey skin too. That's my favorite part of Thanksgiving turkey :-P
-
diabolicdame said on Sep 28, 2008....
Thanks e_t.. thanks CMan.. I'll be getting better that much faster now! :-)
RC: Yeah I've heard my bf say that a lot.. he LOVES chicken.. I'm a vegetarian though so I'm happy with my veggies! And yes Mr Happyface put those tags up everywhere! And also some strange video which I deleted.
-
travelr712 said on Sep 28, 2008....
i know you haven't et, i'm just glad to see you writing posts like this again, i always enjoyed them. -
RollingC said on Sep 28, 2008....
I'll say this for Mr. Happy.... That video of tit's and ass had a cute tune to it.. :^p
Too bad he messed it up with all those stupid tags and overdoing it.
Rc
-
evil_twin said on Sep 28, 2008....
dia--I had my wisdom teeth a long time ago before they started to hurt me. But I know having a toothache sucks!
trav--Thank you :-) Hopefully I can write more posts like it in the future.
Rc--I didn't even watch the video. But I might have if they hadn't put those tags up there. I gotta admit I couldn't help laughing at the tag that said I liked to fuck Tupperware containers....
-
pickersplock said on Sep 28, 2008....
Did you get one of those free orange peelers? -
RollingC said on Sep 28, 2008....
I just finished reading your blog again and I'm sorry that I forgot to mention your mom before....I hope she's feeling better and tell her that next time to step on the damn lizard....that'll teach it to move out of the way when something bigger comes along.Stupid lizard.I remember when my mom one time came home with a swollen face and she told me that she had gone downtown to shop and crossing the street watching the traffic...yep, she was jaywalking,.... she trips over a manhole cover of miami dade & sewers and stopped traffic. People got out of their cars to help her up and cross the street.I offered my services as taxi from that day on and told her not to take the bus again.Rc -
queenparanoia said on Sep 28, 2008....
lol.... you went to a tupperware party?!?!??! bwahahhahahhahaha joke joke joke...
anyway, now you know the cause of yourr tummy pain so be careful what youre eting kyle... ;-)
and tell youre mom to go to the doctor!!! she might broke a bone or something!!!
-
evil_twin said on Sep 29, 2008....
pickers--No we didn't, but that sounds cool! We got to pick a free gift from a bowl though and we got a bowl scraper and a little tiny Tupperware container keychain!
Rc--Thanks for being concerned about my mom :-) She's still hurting quite a lot but she's doing okay. That's pretty scary that your mom fell in the middle of a busy street! That would be embarrassing and dangerous.
queen--My mom won't go to the doctor. She's a lot like me! But I think she's okay. And I will be careful what I eat from now on. Thank you :-)
-
tizzygirl said on Sep 29, 2008....
That tupperware chicken thing is so gross! I am so deathly afraid of eating raw chicken. I always over cook my chicken for that reason...yet I'll eat rare beef....so weird! Thinking of an undercooked chicken kind of makes me feel like throwing up now! Oh and speaking of puking....I won't eat subway either after what happened to you! In fact I used to love smelling the bread baking in there, but the other day I walked by and it just kind of made me sick! Subway sucks for making you feel so badly!
And your poor mom :( That lizard kind of sounds like those squirrels in that one insurance commercial where they run in front of the car, make them crash and then give each other high fives! Some creatures are just evil.
Oh and good job falling on your face in a parking lot! I'm guilty of that too though. I've tripped on so many curbs and bumps in parking lots it's ridiculous( I typoed that as stripped.....which I have NOT done on curbs and bumps in parking lots). It's especially embarrassing when you trip over nothing. You kind of have to look back and glare and the invisible bump just hoping people actually believe there was something there....I'm sure they don't though they are probably just laughing at me lol!
-
evil_twin said on Sep 29, 2008....
tizzy--You definitely don't want to eat a Subway anymore! It's just not safe. My mom is doing better, but she is pretty annoyed at that lizard! I just keep imagining that talking lizard from the insurance commercials, but I'm pretty sure this one didn't talk. But he better appreciate my mom's selfless act in order to save his ass! That would have been an interesting sight to see if you frequently stripped on curbs a lot :-P -
pickersplock said on Sep 29, 2008....
I just decided you should call your post The Subway of Tupperware Lizards. -
diabolicdame said on Sep 29, 2008....
Hey e_t.. I came to ask if your mum's feeling better but I can read in your comments that she's still hurting.. I hope she feels better soon! -
destinydiva said on Oct 01, 2008....
hiya kyle, just wanted to say hi as its been ages, sorry about your food poisoning..hope its sorted for good with these tablets, and sorry about your mum..
say hi to nat from me xxxxx
-
Battycat said on Oct 03, 2008....
Your posts always make me smile, even when I shouldn't, you never seem to have a straightforward day :-) I'm glad you've got to the bottom of your stomach problems. I hope your mums ok.
Comment on "I can't think of a title"
Related Posts:
CayenneMan
posted 3 days ago
| views: 100
|
The enchantment before a beautiful day... read entire post
Me-Myself&I
posted 2 days ago
| views: 74
|
These are the things i give thanks for everyday!... read entire post