Yesterday, while he was home, my husband called his mother and spoke to her for a while. I could tell by his voice that something was upsetting him but because the conversation was in Chinese I couldn't tell what he was saying. When he got off the phone I asked him if everything was okay and he just brushed me off. Never a good sign.
Well I put it out of my head and figured I'd ask him later. I did some more unpacking, entertained my son, did laundry...the usual. Then I woke up my husband for work and I asked him again if everything was okay with Ma (it's what we both call his mom). He told me that his dad wasn't doing so well. I asked him if his dad's health was just declining or if he were in the hospital again and he said that his dad was having dreams and nightmares of people who knew that are dead.
That's when it hit me. Was the man in the bathroom doorway my father-in-law? I asked my husband how tall his dad was before his stroke. My father-in-law was around 6 foot which is tall enough to fit the description especially since I was laying down when I saw him so he'd appear even taller...like he was filling the door frame. I also asked if my father-in-law used to wear a lot of hats and of course the answer was yes.
To me it fits. It just FEELS right. Of course this upset my husband and rightfully so I don't think he's ready to lose his dad. I'm hoping, for my husbands sake I'm wrong. If not I want Ma to come and stay with us and consider moving. She has a tough enough time taking care of herself and if dad passes away I don't want her to be alone.
Tsuya posted on Sep 26, 2008
| views: 101
Comments
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skald said on Sep 26, 2008....
Seems to me like you have not met your father in law. Is that right? Is your husband Chinese ?
I do hope it is not your father in law and that he will be alright.
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uniquely-ironic said on Sep 26, 2008....
I hope you're wrong too for your hubby's sake. It is awfully sweet of you to want to take care of your MIL. Hopefully it won't be neccesary for awhile. -
Tsuya said on Sep 26, 2008....
Skald - I have me my father in law but I couldn't see the "ghost's" face at all and I never saw my father in law before the stroke except in pictures and it's hard to judge his height since just about everybody is tall next to my mother in law.
Yes, my husband is Chinese. One of these days I'll put up a picture of our son he's a doll.
Uniquely - I have a special bond with my MIL since she's been an incredibly accepting woman and considers me as one of her daughters. Sadly her daughters don't take care of her and when my husband moved to be with me it was hard for her. I've wanted her to at least consider spending part of every year with us but so far it's not been possible.
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RollingC said on Sep 26, 2008....
You are a good and kind woman. Keep yourself open for it might happen again and if it does....don't be afraid....no harm will come to you.....or your child.Rc -
Tsuya said on Oct 01, 2008....
Rolling that is how I feel ontop of feeling deeply honored to be a member of this family and to have born the first son of my husband who is the only surviving son of the oldest son...apparently this is not only lucky but extremely important and honorable in Chinese culture. -
skald said on Oct 02, 2008....
Tsuya. Now, I understand and he could be your father in law even though he could be someone else too. Yes, I would love to see a picture of your son.
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