We're enjoying to be enjoying an age of equality, where men and women respect each other as equal, though different, beings. We have cast off the notions of "men's work" and "women's work" that plagued our mothers and fathers. We share the responsibility for home and work.

Yeah, right!

Is this true for ANYONE? I know that the theory right now (and I think it's a good one) is that if the non-houskeeping, wage-earning work is being done by both partners in a marriage, then the household chores should be divided in the same manner. So why doesn't it work that way in my house?

I worked full-time before our baby came along, but it still seemed that most of the housekeeping chores were my responsibility. My husband HATES housework, and it seems to ruin his day. If it's his day off, he doesn't want to spend it doing chores. If he's been working all day, he's too tired to do them, and why can't he just relax for a while? I should probably mention at this point that though I love my husband, he's not the most mature person I know. But you might have picked up on that already...

It's almost funny when he actually does something. Say he makes himself a late-night snack, and he washes the dishes he used. In the morning, he shows me the work he did, and I thank him for washing the dishes he used... while conveniently ignoring all of the other unwashed dished piled on the counter.

I think my mother-in-law has something to do with this. She's a lovely woman- maybe she's too nice. The first Christmas I spent with my husband's family, she seemed genuinely shocked when I offered to help prepare dinner- she didn't know what to do with me! She seemed quite pleased when I suggested that we "kids" do the dishes afterward, though. I think my husband grew up watching his mother do everything inside the house- the cooking, the cleaning, the child care. His father did the "outside" work- gardens, mowing the lawn, etc (a fact which my hubby is somehow able to ignore...). He just doesn't have an example of a fair division of labour to follow.

It's my fault, too, of course. It's just easier to do the work myself rather than trying to convince my husband to pick up the slack. He complains about the clutter, but does nothing to change the situation. I don't want to nag, so I just take care of things myself.

I'm on maternity leave right now. Though looking after the baby is a full-time (24/7, in fact) job, I don't mind doing more than half of the housework- after all, I'm here to do it most of the time, and I can get things done while the baby's sleeping or playing. A little help would be nice, though...