I don't have a fortune, but after selling my house six years ago, I had enough of a nestegg that I could live thriftily off the interest in countries with low costs of living. But ever since the day I invested my money, I've lived with the fear of losing it all. There is some basis to this fear... I did see my EC lose his entire fortune in the course of one year.
So, for the first few years, I fretted about it constantly, counting and recording every peso that I spent. I could tell you how much I spent on tortillas on what day, and whether or not I had left town and could possibly have made an ATM withdrawal on a particular day just by checking my register to see whether I had bought a bus ticket that day (there was no ATM in my town).
I rationalize my compulsivity with recording my spending and checking my balance by the fact that I had three cats that depended on me, and I couldn't let anything happen to them. Accordingly, when they passed away, I stopped keeping track of my accounts, almost without noticing that I was doing so.
Now, I've gone to the other extreme and almost never balance my checkbook. In fact, until today, I hadn't done it since last March. It's not been out of laziness. Well..okay, that plays into things, too. But the main thing that has kept me from balancing my checkbook, or even checking my bank balance online, is fear.
I'm afraid that I'm going to log on and all my money will be gone. So, what do I do? I put my head in the sand, and pretend that everything is okay. If it's not, I don't want to know about it.
And I've avoided taking steps to make sure that I don't lose it all. I could see a couple of years ago already that the dollar was going to take the plunge, and that the smart thing would be to invest in a different currency. But did I do it? Nope. I just sat back and watched the exchange rates plummet. Too afraid of making a wrong move, and in the process, my money has lost 30 or 40% of its value on the world market (which is where I live).
Now, my investment is going to mature in a couple of months and I have to find a new investment. I was supposed to call my investment counselor in August when I got back from vacation, but I still haven't done it. But in the back of my mind, I keep seeing that billboard for the American Dental Association that says, "Ignore your teeth, and they'll go away." Same thing here: "Ignore your money, and it'll go away."
What is it that makes me so nervous to the point of inaction? Why so afraid? Does anyone else have this fear? How do you deal with it?
kruuyai posted on Sep 21, 2008
| views: 379
Comments
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Me-Myself&I said on Sep 21, 2008....
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BreatheUnderwater said on Sep 21, 2008....
erm..well...safest way to keep your money is just put it on an account and do nothing with it..worst that can happen is the currency falls (yeah..it happens)..if you invest you always take a risk..so..only use that amount of money you know you won't be needing..investing always means the more profit, the higher the risk..there are low risk investments , usually real estate...sigh...or..hmmm..i think it's called bonds in english..it are longer term investments...shares/stocks (? again my english) have some lower risk options(still higher risk than the other ones) too..spreaded in packages, from solid companies..it won't make you rich..but it usually keeps your money and you have a little more profit after some(say 15) years than by keeping it in an savings account..with the stuff that's going on on the financial market now..hmmzz..yeah...i would just buy a big safe and put my money in it..but then again..after a while you could just have a nice big safe with only paper in it..guessing a lot is going to change at the stock exchange..so maybe try to find a way to tide over the stuff that is going on right now..maybe a 2 years period on some saving account thing...but it was about you were scared..or nervous..all i can say is, try to reduce the risk if you are scared..i dunno.. -
travelr712 said on Sep 21, 2008....
i don't have this fear now, but i've had years when i stressed whether i had enough money, or would have, in the future to cover all my bills and commitments. it's not quite the same thing, but it's close. how do i deal with it? well, i don't stress about money anymore, i check my account at least once a day to make sure that the things i bought have been accounted, and to see when things actually clear. i haven't balanced a checkbook in over a year, because i really don't need to. i do all my transactions with my check card, and they are recorded online by the time i get home. so all i do is make sure that the right amount was recorded, and that my balance is about what it should be. about once every 3 months, things will get a bit tight or i'll forget about something, and then i'll get hit with $100 or so in overdraft fees. it makes me mad for a bit, but at least the things i paid for were paid, i don't have to pay extra fees to the other people too.but i do suggest krupydoll, that you start paying attention to your balance. you don't really know if your bank is taking money away from you when they shouldn't, or if someone has hacked your account and is draining it, things like that. i know it's kinda scarry to try and not obsess about it, but it's really the only thing you can do. you just have to put on your 'big girl panties' and change your own perspective on this situation. take control of your finances, and stop letting them control you. -
lfbno7 said on Sep 21, 2008....
I'd stay away from equities except maybe oil stocks. I think the market is fucked and will remain so. But don't listen to me. My practice is "buy high, sell low". -
evil_twin said on Sep 21, 2008....
I'm kind of similar myself. Sometimes I'm afraid I don't have enough money, so I just never look at my account. It's stupid really, because if I don't have enough, it's not magically going to replenish itself just because I didn't look at it. But I'm always of the opinion that if there's something bad happening somewhere, I'd rather not know.
It's a really unhealthy habit to get into though. It's better to be informed so you can take action and fix things if they need to be fixed, instead of just clinging to blind hope and denial. But I know exactly how you feel. It's not so much a fear of money though, as it is a fear of losing all your money! And I think lots of people share that part of the phobia.
-evil_twin LA
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RollingC said on Sep 21, 2008....
The only way I know of of putting money away safely without stress....aside from keeping it in a bank account or some other safe place and not touching it....is with Insurance policies. Get yourself an insurance broker that you can trust, then go from there according to your options.
Of course picking a stable company that's been around awhile helps too. Nothing like a fly-by-night company to make you feel the " bumps " in the night when bad news of the market rears it's ugly head.
Rc
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travelr712 said on Sep 21, 2008....
well rc, not to argue, but i have just one word about insurance companies... AIG. -
beyondtheveil said on Sep 21, 2008....
kruu- I've always gone 'safe' with money and that means keeping it away from stocks, but normally pays less. I don't trust stocks as they can make you a pauper in a day. The way things are going now, I don't know if anything is safe any more. -
RollingC said on Sep 21, 2008....
True....but with stocks...or worse yet..commodities.....you can lose your shirt really easy. Just like you can make a ton of money real easy if the time and choice is right. Might as well start a company if you have a good product or service. And even that is always a gamble.Rc -
Fallyn said on Sep 21, 2008....
i do this.with my health mainly.i haven't looked into my blood problem again yet, cause i'm scared of what they will find.stupid? yeah.how do i deal with it?i'll let you know when i figure out how to. -
woman said on Sep 22, 2008....
My money situation scares me silly. After indulging in some mild panic, I decided to live in Denial. Nice place. Little stress. Great scenery. -
uniquely-ironic said on Sep 22, 2008....
Denial is such a funny way for us to deal with our fear of making a mistake by investing money into a stock that takes a nose dive.I don't have much to manage, but I do review my 401K twice a year and will redistribute it if I see that it's not growing at an acceptable rate. I talk to coworkers, read the papers and do online research to see if there are any glaring investment opportunities.Money markets are a very stable and as profitable way to grow equity short of Chicken Detectors. (CDs) Right now I'm minimally invested in US markets and heavily invested in foreign markets. I also tend to invest in medical and technology companies since there will always be money to be made in drugs and electronics. -
woman said on Sep 22, 2008....
UI~Sounds like you are on top of things. I am paying attention to my money too but there aren't any great investments anymore (that I can live with!) and I just choose not to focus on it. Therefore-denial! -
uniquely-ironic said on Sep 22, 2008....
woman - I'm not getting ahead by leaps and bounds, but at least I haven't lost a lot with this depressing economy. Part of my benefits here are company stock. It would be silly of me to keep my company's stock since it's in transportation which has been and will likely be depressed until the economy makes a come back.My personal checking account however ......... total denial. Especially the day or two before payday. -
queenparanoia said on Sep 24, 2008....
i think everyone experience this... just relax kruu money is just well money. but i think it's wise that you should plan about it so you can stop worrying about it okay??? ;-) -
kruuyai said on Sep 24, 2008....
MM&I: *** :)
Breathe: My money's been in a pretty conservative bond fund that has held its ground through everything...in fact, it seems to do better when the economy sucks, but all good things must come to an end, and I just really don't have the energy to research a new fund, or really trust any financial "consultants" who are really just glorified salespeople for their investment firms... I do know that much about it, but even without a shred of trust, it's easier for me just to let someone else do all the work... now, if I could just get myself to pick up the phone. (and, BTW, notice how long it's taken me to respond to the comments on this post. I really, really, really don't want to deal with this!)
trav: You check your account every day? I'm sure glad I don't have enough transactions to warrant that. Since I started working a year ago, I've rarely made a withdrawal and only used the credit card for online purchases of plane tickets and stuff like that. And then, I get a dividend and some interest once a month. So, lately, I have averaged checking up on my account two or three times a year, but you're right.. it's not enough, and you hit on my greatest fear, and that is hackers. So, I do scan my computer once in a while for spyware, etc., but that really does scare me. I do know about what I should have in my account, though. I think another part of the problem is that, with this new investment firm, my username and password are so complex, that I have to look them up every time to access my account! Anyway... your advice is very good. If I could only get myself to follow it.
7: Wow... I can see how you made your fortune. :)
e_t: I can so totally relate! In fact, what I usually do when I'm worried about money is.... spend more! It's funny, I'm like this with money, and as Fallyn mentioned, health issues, but with everything else, I usually tackle my problems head-on.... oh, except for when I have to break up a romantic relationship. Damn! I guess I just don't face anything. Who am I kidding?
Rolling: Are you talking about buying insurance policies or investing in insurance companies?
trav: Care to enlighten me on that AIG thing? You know how out of touch I am with world news.
beyond: Amen... and another thing, the way things are going these days, cash (at least in USD) can also make you a pauper in a day.
Fallyn: I do it with my health, too. In fact, I've got to schedule an appointment pretty soon. sigh...
woman: LOL
uniquely: What's the difference between a money market and a mutual fund? (see how ignorant I am?) Hey... they both start with the letter M! Actually, I've been wanting to get more invested in foreign markets, but the lousy US economy is adversely affecting the rest of the world economy as well.
queen: Point well made.. but as beyond so wisely pointed out not long ago, it's not money itself, but the things it can buy. For me, I'm not so interested in having a lot of things, but I see my money as something that can give me the freedom to live the life I want ... meaning, if I want to take time off to write or do some volunteer work, and hitchhike to Turkey, I can do that. That my life is my own, and that I'm making the rules for myself instead of having to answer to an employer.... also having enough in case of a medical disaster. When you don't have a family, money plays a more important role in your life. I hate the way that sounds, but it's true.
Anyone know anything about investing in Turkish real estate?
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uniquely-ironic said on Sep 24, 2008....
I'm no financial guru but I believe a money market is more bank driven and a mutual fund is more privately run. Perhaps one is insured. If I had anything to invest right now it would be in south american markets, perhaps some in asian markets. Yes, we do tend to bring down other markets when we suck.Turkish real estate?!! Sounds interesting, but I doubt it will perform fantastically. -
tonibell said on Sep 25, 2008....
I have days that I dedicate to looking at my money and all it involves...........I really don't have much to look at, but it's the managing of it. Then I don't think about it anymore then I have to. Who knows what will happen next? I've made it through the past, I guess I can make it through the future. -
kruuyai said on Sep 25, 2008....
uniquely: So, why South America and Asia? Turkish real estate will undoubtedly perform fantastically. Turkey is slated to join the EU in 2011, and real estate (as well as everything else) always shoots up once a country joins the EU. Actually, it's already been on the rise for a number of years. And since I want to live there anyway, buying is better than renting. Real estate is about the only investment I ever feel really secure making, because, if nothing else, you can always live there... it doesn't just exist on paper.
toni: See, that's the way I would like to be, and I try to act "as if," but there's always this nagging in the back of my head.... probably because I hate earning a living. I'd rather spend my time pursuing my interests which don't always lead to financial gain, so it's nice to have something to fall back on.
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uniquely-ironic said on Sep 25, 2008....
I didn't know about the EU thing. In that case it would seem to make a lot of sense to get in now.As gas prices rise the manufacturers and other companies in the US will seek low cost countries closer to home so that the cost of bringing products into the US will be saved. Asia is still has a lot of low cost labor, though the cost of transportation from it has slowed down what looked like a very big boom for them. South America is closer and also has a lot of low cost labor. I think in the future more US companies will outsource production to them. -
one_wired_kitty said on Oct 09, 2008....
Since hours have gone down the toilet since business has been really slow ... my paychecks have been from my last check of $147on up to $250 ... I spend what I need to and save what I can. Money's tight. I don't want to pay attention but I have to. -
kruuyai said on Oct 10, 2008....
uniquely: That makes sense.
owk: Sounds like money is more than tight. Good for you for paying attention when you need to. That's the smart thing to do. I'm usually smart enough about living on a budget, but when things get scary, that's when I'm likely to do something stupid like buy something really expensive that I don't need. I call it denial.
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one_wired_kitty said on Oct 10, 2008....
I've had to burn almost totally through what I had saved on occasion but things happen ... car needs fixing, etc. -
kruuyai said on Oct 11, 2008....
owk: Yeah, I remember those kinds of problems. I'm really glad that I no longer live in a place where a car is a necessity. In fact, a lot of the things that I thought of as necessities when i lived in the States, I find that I can do quite well without, and I'm happy to do so. Maybe the answer is not increasing our income but reducing our requirements. -
one_wired_kitty said on Oct 11, 2008....
Kruu .... must be nice. Unfortunately - I live 30+ minutes from the 3 closest cities and it's not feasable to walk to my job since there are no sidewalks or even bike lanes plus there are no streetlights once you leave town ... I'm not working the closing shift (I get off at 1 am) and then walking home blindly in the dark and the cold. -
kruuyai said on Oct 11, 2008....
owk: Yeah, that is one thing that I never liked about living in the States. It's really not set up for people who don't have their own cars. Here (I live in the city), I can find public transportation at all hours. During the day, the subways, trams and buses run every couple of minutes, and you're never more than a few blocks away from some station or another. Even after hours, from about midnight til 4 or 5 am, you can still get a bus or tram every 30 minutes. And most little towns and villages have bus or train service to the biggers cities... and even solitary houses in the country have places where they can wave down a bus. -
one_wired_kitty said on Oct 11, 2008....
Yeah - what's going to suck even more for me is not only are my hours being cut but I'm being evicted from my current residence (long story) so I now have to find a place to live on $250 a month .. HA .. what a fucking joke.Anyway ... LOLWould be nice if we had better transit here. I may have to transfer to a different store since I might be moving to one of the cities near me. -
RollingC said on Oct 12, 2008....
OWK....You could try to find a place close to transit....that would help. Finding a place to live for that kind of money sucks but have you considered renting just a room from some family...you know....the room over the garage or something like that.Kruu....reducing our requirements is the key to solving lots of problems. I agree.Rc
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