The never ending health crisis continues. I'm getting really tired of
this. Yesterday I woke up feeling better than I had been feeling
lately. A lot of the body aches and flu like symptoms I had been
experiencing, were gone. I thought I was finally getting better. But as
the morning progressed, this pain I had in my right side seemed to be
getting worse than it had been.
That upset me and alarmed me.
And several people I work with all kept telling me, "yeah, it's your
gallbladder, man!" Because they'd all been through it before and they
said my symptoms matched what they experienced. And when I added in
that my doctor thought that's what it was too, I started thinking maybe
they were right.
So I went home after only being at work for
less than 3 hours and I called my doctors office. I was still waiting
on that stupid referral to get the fancy gallbladder test done. But it
hurt so much, I didn't want to wait for weeks to get seen. I can't
function anymore. Something had to be done. So after telling the nurse,
and waiting for her to talk to the doctor, etc. They called me back and
told me to go to the ER.
There was nothing more they could do
for me at the office, and he wanted me to get this gallbladder test
done at the hospital. And I was told that he had called over there and
ordered the test and told them to expect I was coming.
Great.
Another hospital visit. My least favorite thing. And this time I was
convinced I was not leaving there without having surgery. Everyone told
me to expect that because if it was my gallbladder, it'd have to come
out. I was terrified, but part of me was strangely ready for it. Only
because I was sick of being sick and in pain, and if surgery would fix
me up and let me get on with my life, I was kind of ready to do it.
Still terrified beyond words, but resigned.
I called Nat and
told her to come home because she was waiting to find out what the
doctor would say. And then I called Jack and told him too and he said
he'd try and get out of work and come meet us over there. All of us
believing this time that surgery was inevitable.
Nat and I
arrived and I signed in at the desk and told them my doctor had called
ahead. They said they didn't know about that, but the people in the
back would know. So I sat down in the waiting room for about 5 minutes,
and then they called me back. Just like that. It was amazing.
And
I explained to the triage nurse what I was feeling and she just looked
at me and smirked and said, "ah yes, the gallbladder....I'll bet money on
it!" And she had this nice Aussie accent and was much more pleasant
than my previous horrible male nurse. But she was just the triage nurse
and all she did was take my vitals and then walk me back to the ER.
Then
she left me in the care of another nurse. She was very nice too. She
gave me a gown and told me to change, and when she came back in she
asked me what was wrong. I told her, and she nodded and said, "yeah,
that's your gallbladder." And she started the IV and I asked her if it
was really my gallbladder and I needed it out, what should I expect?
How long would I be there?
The last time I was there and I
asked questions like that, they told me they wouldn't talk to me about
it and just walked away from me. But this nurse was sweet and explained
it all to me. And how if that's what it was, unless it was something
drastically wrong with it and it was a true emergency, they'd send me
home and I'd have to schedule an outpatient surgery to get it done.
That
relaxed me immensely. Because I just freak out when I don't know what
to expect. And I was so glad she was willing to talk to me and tell me
that the recovery would be fairly quick too. She was talking to me
about it all while she started the IV and I realized I didn't even feel
it go in. She got great marks in my book. She's good at distraction,
just like Nat is. And she knew about my panic and didn't look at me
like I was a freak. She was sympathetic and reassuring and made me feel
MUCH more at ease than the stupid prick I had last time.
Jack
showed up soon after she had started the IV and we were just waiting to
see the doctor. I think he was surprised to see me so calm this time. I
was upset for sure. But I was calm and just ready to get it all over
with.
So the doctor comes in and I tell him my story for the
3rd time. He writes stuff down, nods a lot and says, "sure sounds like
your gallbladder...." But he was a little perplexed that my previous
ultrasound didn't show any signs of a problem. So I mentioned the
special test my doctor ordered, and he didn't seem to care about that.
He said he wanted another ultrasound instead.
But first, pain
medication. That was a huge ordeal the last time because I reacted so
badly to it. Nat didn't really want me to have it again, but I was
hurting and I was ready for it to stop. So I promised I wouldn't freak
out this time because I knew what to expect. And I was calmer going
into it than I was before, so I was confident that I'd be okay.
The
nurse came in and wanted to give me the same medicine the last guy did.
Nat asked her if she would give me a different one (just like she asked
the last guy) She still said no, but she at least explained why this
time. She said that this one was longer lasting and they preferred it
better. But she said she could give me something else if I really
wanted it. And when I explained to her what happened the last time, and
how my muscles went into spasm and I felt like I was dying, and the guy
just walked away from me, she was pissed. She wanted to know the name
of the evil nurse, but none of us could remember it.
She was
shaking her head and saying he did it all wrong, and you never
administer it that fast and walk away. It was dangerous. To which, Nat
agreed and they talked for a few minutes about how fucked up my last
experience was. But we all agreed to try it again and just go much
slower. I still felt the muscle spasms, but it was much less severe. And
it went away quickly, and she didn't leave me until she was sure I was
alright and feeling good, and not freaking out or hurting.
I
loved this nurse. Now, she was not as wonderful as my Natty of course.
But she had a great disposition and was very caring and kind. And after
she left for awhile, and came back, she smiled and said I looked very
happy and relaxed now. And I was. Well, the happy part was debatable
because I was in a fucking hospital bed. But I was relaxed, oddly
enough. And talkative. I was telling all sorts of stories about I'm not
even sure what. I don't remember. But I do know I was laughing and
having a great time.
But then they came to get me for the
ultrasound. It was really uncomfortable. They press so hard on your
stomach in places where it's already so sore. I was miserable. But this
technician was WAY nicer than the last technician I had too. That guy
wouldn't even speak to me. But this lady explained stuff like what she
was looking at and all of that. Even if she's not allowed to actually
diagnose anything, she was helpful enough to tell me things like, "this
is your gallbladder, and this is your kidney..."
But we went
back to the room and waited for what seemed like forever to get the
results. But it was kind of entertaining because there was this patient
next to me that we all kept eavesdropping on. She was a young girl,
probably about 18-20. And she was one of those emo type chicks. And she
had two emo looking guys with her. They had dyed black hair, black
eyeliner and those skinny jeans that look so retarded on guys.
But
they were talking so loud and every other word was, "fuck this, fuck
you, you fucker!" But they were all laughing, so I guess they were just
messing around. But what we could gather was that she had abdominal
pain kind of like how I had. But since she was a girl, they did a
pelvic exam on her. And the weird thing is, BOTH of the guys stayed in
there with her during that. Interesting.
I asked Nat if she'd
let Jack stay in the room while she was getting a pelvic exam and she
just laughed and said, "are you kidding me?" She loved Jack, but not
that much. And some things weren't meant to be shared with anyone but
your boyfriend/husband. And even then she said a pelvic exam wasn't
something she was excited to share with me anyway.
But for
some reason, this chick next door let both of these guys stand in there
while she had this done. And then the doctor came back to tell her that
he thought she had an infection in her uterus. One of the guys asked
what causes that, and the doc said, "well a few things, but mostly
sexually transmitted diseases." Oh boy. Oddly enough none of them
seemed too surprised by that, and the other guy asked, "is it
chlamydia?" The doc said he wasn't sure, but that they'd give her
antibiotics and it'd clear it all up no matter what it was.
And
when the doc left, one of the guys asked the girl, "how the fuck did
you get that?" And the other guy was like, "shit, what if I have it
too?" And the other guy said he didn't cheat so he had no idea where
she got it. Basically from the conversation it sounded as if this girl
was involved with BOTH of these guys and everyone was trying to figure
out who gave who the infection. Needless to say, it was amusing and
helped pass the time while I layed there and waited to hear my results.
When the doctor finally came to see me, he said there was
nothing abnormal with my gallbladder. And all my blood tests were
totally fine. He could find nothing wrong with me at all. And given
that I'd just had another CT scan last Friday, he didn't want to put me
through it again right now. But that he had reviewed my first scan from
a month ago, and he said he did not see diverticulitis like they
previously diagnosed. He said that intitially that finding in my chart
perplexed him because he said I was just too young. It's not unheard
of, but it is very unusual in someone under the age of 45.
So
when he went over the scan, he didn't believe that's what I ever had.
He said I had colitis. And he believed it was bacterial and able to be
treated with antibiotics again. And when he heard how long I took them
before, he said it wasn't long enough. And he also said that the reason
he believed this was the problem was because I did get better after
taking the anitbiotics. But as soon as I stopped them, within a week, I
was sick again. So he believed the infection was never totally wiped
out, and just kept rebuilding itself again.
And even if my last
CT scan was normal, I had only just started feeling sick the night
before it, so it might not have progressed far enough to be detected
again at that point. But he says there is a chance that I have
ulcerative colitis which is pretty horrible. But he thinks it's more
likely bacterial because it does respond to the antibiotics. But he
wants me to get the ass invading colonoscopy done, just like what I was
told before.
I have no idea what I'm going to do. Right now I
don't want to think about it. I just want to get better and worry about
it later. But he gave me more antibiotics, and told me that even if I
had started taking one of them, I didn't take this other one which was
actually better to take. So I needed them both again, just like before.
And I need to take them longer.
And then he sent me home. He
said I did not need surgery or hospitalization for anything. And the
only reason he'd do another CT scan was if the antibiotics did not help
this time. I'm not sure what to think. I hope he's right. But part of
me feels like he's just guessing at the problem, because none of my
tests yesterday indicated anything at all. Which is both good and bad.
Good,
because hopefully it means I'm not dying if all my tests look normal.
But bad because then they don't even have a real starting point to
figure out what's going on. I feel like I'm a huge mystery patient, and
I was kind of hoping for a definitive diagnosis where they could say,
"THIS is it, and this will make you all better." Instead I got, "I
THINK this is it maybe, so let's just try this and see what happens..."
With
that all said, I do feel quite a bit better today than I did yesterday.
I'm kind of afraid to be too positive because every time I think I'm
better, it gets worse again. So I don't know yet. But we'll see. And I
really hope it all goes away because I'm sure everyone is tired of
reading about all this bullshit. I know I'm tired of writing it! But
this is my life right now, so I guess this is what I write about :-(
Let's just hope that changes soon....



