So if you read some of my earlier post's you'll know that im a good girl.
I get on well with my parents.
Im clever and im bothered about my education.
Im pretty sensible.
Ive also mentioned before, that my parents trust me but never give me the oppourtunity to prove that trust is earnt. Ever since i was 12 ive known that if i ask for permission i probably won't get to do what i actually want to. When i was kid this would bother me but i went along with it. I never rebelled, never lied, and missed out big style.
After about 15 i began to feel a little hard done by. I KNOW im responsible, ive never got into to trouble- and that isnt just because my parents forbid me to be in any situation where i may get into trouble. Ive been in situations where I could have been ridiculously drunk, slept with every guy i met and done drugs. But it was me saying no, ive been brought up well and im wiser probably beyond my age. Some of you guys have commented on this before and im beginning to become my own person and trust myself.
However im now 18 and out of fear of missing out on the best years of my life because i made the mistake of asking for permission ive recently begun to rebel. Im doing things for me knowing that i need to make my own decisions.
I know my parents know best but that doesnt mean i dont want my own experiences and mistakes.
So this summer ive told 1 or 2 white lie's nothing big. Ive been staying at quiet boy's house. They dont know that, they knew what village i was in but they thought i was at a party. Ive always told them where ill be- so that if i do need them there is some damage control.
However this week i took it a step further. Quietboys gone back to university. Things were a little rough at first but now they are good, my minds at rest and i want to be with him and know he wants to be with me.
My parents wouldn't be too impressed if they knew i was getting into a long distance relationship so i haven't told them. Im not ready to give him up and im happy. I deserve that.
So here's the big secret...
Before i start university and im busy trying to settle in and make new friends Quietboy wanted to see me. This meant making a 3 hour train journey- not really worth doing for a day, so it meant staying over night.
I tried and tried tp come up with a feesible white lie, but couldnt. So yesterday afternoon i jumped on a train and went on an adventure, my parents thought i was no further than 20 miles away.
In reality i was easily 150 miles away, taken 2 trains and gone to a part of a country where i had never been before, where i only knew 1 person.
I was terrified and excited. I feel defiant like ive come to a turning point.
Had my parents found out there would have been no hiding the fact that ive become my own person. I make my own decisions and im living my own life. A feat ive never really felt before.
I know im 18 and still very young and inexperienced in life but in 7 days im moving 300 miles away, living next door to starngers of both genders, and surviving on my own, so this point had to come eventually anyway.
This is a huge confidence boost for me, ive always wanted to stretch the elastice of the bond between my parents and me because all my life i've never been sure where they end and i begin. Now i do.
I didn't like lying to them and im glad that in 7 days ill never have to pull a stunt like that again. But i enjoyed every second of it.
Well apart from saying bye to Qb.
It was a trip of a life time, in a sense.
My first rebelion.
My first place to strange place alone.
My first trip for what i think could be love.
