More crazy dreams last night. I don't know if any of these are as interesting as my last dream, but I still wanted to write them down because they were so vivid.
Awhile back, I had a dream that seemed incredibly real. Like a glimpse into my future. And in it, I saw a little boy who was supposed to be my son. I wrote all about it at my Blackthorn blog here. Well last night, I dreamt of the same boy who was about 10 or 11 years old. Only this time, we were at the hospital. Just him and me. And he had hurt his foot somehow. They showed me the x-rays and he had a bone spur on his heel, from where he had apparently shattered his foot previously and it healed wrong. At least that's what they were telling me.
And in the dream, I remembered how it happened. He had jumped out of tree and landed wrong. And I was so upset because I thought he had healed fine, but I remembered that he kept walking on the cast when he wasn't supposed to, and now he needed to have surgery to fix it. I felt like it was my fault that I didn't force him to take it easier when he had the cast.
But the doctors kept telling me that you couldn't keep a boy from doing things like that, because he was just so active. Which was further proved when he ran out of the hospital at the news he needed surgery, even with a bad foot. (Like father like son?)
So I had to chase him through the parking lot, and he'd made it all the way across the street by the time I got out there. And he had a cell phone, and said he was calling his mom to come get him. That's when I realized that we'd gone into the hospital during the day, and it was now nighttime, and I'd forgotten to call Nat. She had no idea where we were.
But for some reason my phone wouldn't work, because it was linked to his phone somehow. So if his was off the hook, mine wouldn't dial. Which of course makes no sense, but that's how it was. And he had accidentally dropped his on the ground and broken it, so now neither phone would work.
I ran across the street, dodging cars, and I finally caught up to him. And I explained to him how he had to go back and get this problem fixed. Otherwise he'd never be able to walk normally again. He finally relented, and I attempted to pick him up and carry him because I didn't want him to hurt his foot again. But he was annoyed with me and told me he was almost as tall as I was and we looked ridiculous. He wasn't a little boy anymore. He was about 5 feet tall and pretty heavy. So I did put him down, because he was right. He wasn't my little boy anymore, and that made me sad.
Then in the dream, suddenly I woke in bed next to Nat. It was about 3am according to the clock. I had no memory of how I had gotten there, or what had happened to our son. I woke her up and asked her what happened, and she was mad at me because I never called her to tell her he'd had surgery. I felt bad, but all I could ask her is what happened because I didn't remember. It was all a blank. And I was really unnerved that I had no memory of anything at all after the conversation in the parking lot.
Then I woke up for real. And it was about 3am for real.
But I went back to sleep and had another bizarre dream. This time I was not traveling to the future. I was traveling to the past. Like another lifetime past. The year was 1940 something. And I was a grown man who did not look like me. I was taller and had dark hair, combed into an old fashioned looking style. I was wearing a button up sweater and tan pants. And I was visiting my parents, most specifically my mother.
I was walking through the house, and I remembered that my father was in prison. He'd been involved in some sort of racketeering business with the mafia. And he had been hiding money in our house. I even had a flashback of watching him lift up these floor tiles in the upstairs bathroom, so he could put this big locked box of cash under there. It was right by the toilet. And then another flash happened when I saw the police raiding our house, and ripping out the floor in there to get to the money.
Then I came back to the present moment, and my mother (not my real mother--this woman had red hair) was standing in the kitchen crying. I thought she'd be happy to see me, but she wasn't. In fact, she had no interest in seeing me at all. All she could think about was that my father was gone and she didn't know what to do.
I tried to talk to her, and I even asked her if she had anything she wanted to say to me, and she said no. I was heartbroken by that. And I wandered off outside to this little park across the street and I stood there and let tears fall down because all I wanted was to help her and she didn't want me there because I wasn't my father.
Eventually she came outside looking for me, and I was glad for that. It meant that maybe she cared. But she just told me to come inside because I was embarrassing her for crying. Men don't cry. And if the neighbors saw me out there, it would just be another thing for everyone to talk about.
So I went inside with her, and she lit up a cigarette and just stood there. I noticed she had some knicknacks lying around. And I picked this one thing up. It was a little house made of clay, and I remembered I'd made it for her when I was in school. I was happy she still had it and I smiled and told her I remembered when I gave it to her. She told me I might as well smash it now because there was no happy little house anymore.
My heart just hurt because she seemed like she hated me. My own mother hated me and I didn't know why.
And then I woke up yet again.
And oddly enough, two days in a row, the same song has been playing on the radio when my alarm goes off. And the lyrics of the song that I always hear first are, "worse yet, your soul is already gone...." Twice in a row I've woken up to that message! It must mean something....
Anyway that's it. Those were my dreams. One from the future and one from the very distant past that was most certainly not my life. Any ideas?
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evil_twin posted on Sep 19, 2008
| views: 199
Comments
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the_infernal_optimist said on Sep 19, 2008....
Wow. I'm not sure what to say about either of those dreams just yet, but I wanted to go ahead and comment and say that I read them. I'll gather my thoughts and share anything I come up with later.
What vivid and unsettling dreams!
~Infernal
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skald said on Sep 19, 2008....
Strange dreams. I have had dreams of the future and the past too but none so long as these I think.
I had my boy in a push wagon and he said his name was Óli. That was about 2 years before he was born and his name is Guðmundur 'Oli (Gummi) He said Óli before he could say his first name.
I had a symbolic dream about his brother before I knew I was pregnant. I dreamed that my husband gave me a blue lamb.
There are some past dreams too but they are in the far past.
My aunt said once I'm not going to have anymore children. She had 3 then. I was sitting in the kitchen with her when I was 12 when she said that. Next night she dreamed that a little brown haired girl was sitting on the floor. Who are you she said. I am Heiða she said and you are my mother. Two years later she had Heiða.
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Sep 19, 2008....
bookmarking
paper ~
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RollingC said on Sep 19, 2008....
Interesting.....very. Your subconcious is really letting you have it with hidden meanings.Want to have more dreams? I can show you how but gotta warn you....it's going to be a flood of dreams all of a sudden. You'll need to sleep with a notepad next to you to keep track of them and later try to make sense out of them.Rc -
kruuyai said on Sep 20, 2008....
e_t: I think that little boy in the first dream is the part of yourself that is afraid and resistant to medical treatment, and that you, as the father in the dream, are the part of you that is trying to talk sense into that scared little boy.
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evil_twin said on Sep 20, 2008....
Infernal--I'm interested to know what you think of these. You'll have to let me know :-)
skald--Those sorts of dreams are really interesting, aren't they? It's fascinating how we are able to dream of children who haven't been born yet, and so cool when it actually comes true!
paper--Thanks for stopping by :-)
RC--How do you have even more dreams? I am curious. I love having dreams and I did start using a notepad to remember them all. It really helps!
kruu--I had the very same thoughts about who the boy really was in the first dream. And it makes SO much sense to me, given that I actually ended up at the hospital yesterday thinking I needed I surgery to correct a problem I thought was already treated. So that particular dream makes total sense to me now.
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Mr_Box said on Sep 20, 2008....
These dreams really are interesting.I'm kind of agreeing that it's possible the little boy who was your son, was actually representative of yourself. The part of yourself that's scared. And you were trying to convince him that everything would be okay somehow.But I also think it's interesting that it was the same boy from your earlier dream. It is possible that your mind brought him back to this dream, because that's now how you see your future son.And I think maybe some part of you worries you can't take care of him, because you have so many of your own fears that you wouldn't know what to do taking care of someone else.The second dream was really weird. I cannot figure out what it might mean. Our family is nothing at all like that, so it doesn't seem symbolic in that sense.The only thing I can think is that you have a fear of disappointing people who you love and not being what you think they want you to be. Maybe? -
skald said on Sep 20, 2008....
Kyle Just like I said before there is so much yet that we don't know about dreams and has not been researched maybe because scientists are not broadminded enough. -
evil_twin said on Sep 20, 2008....
Mr. Box--Thanks for reading :-) I liked your ideas about what the dreams might mean too. The first one I do think is about my fears with myself and also my fears of taking care of other people. But the second one is less cut and dry. It honestly felt like I was seeing someone else's life, and it didn't make a lot of sense with my own, not even symbolically. The only thing that fit was that I do sometimes feel sad when I can't be what people want me to be, and they won't let me help them. That's been an issue recently I've dealt with. But I don't know if that's what the dream meant or not....
skald--I agree that most scientists are not broadminded enough to explore the potential of dreams. But a lot of psychologists do believe they're highly important to figuring out all sorts of deep seated issues. And I really believe that too.
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RollingC said on Sep 20, 2008....
Not just deep seated issues but also problem solvers too. :^)
The way to have your dreams remembered more....because all of us dream and dream lots...we just don't remember them....
When you go to bed at night...go through your nightly routine as normal...eg - saying your prayers, stretching and yawning, etc.
Then before you allow yourself to relax, go blank, and go to sleep....picture two hands or people.... they represent the right side and the left side of your brain. Then tell them that we are all one, members of a family and we are all friends. Picture them shaking hands and embracing and promising to help remember all the dreams that you have when you wake up...to help decipher the dreams and give you the solutions to your personal problems and help guide you in the future with your health and well being both physical and financial.
Then you relax, go blank, let go and go to sleep.
Do this repeatedly for at least a week and get ready for the avalanche. Nothing may happen the first night or so and don't dismay if it doesn't but keep on doing this every night and you'll see.
A friend of mine that was studying psychology told me to do this one time that I was going through my " spiritual awakening " that I wrote about on my first posts and on them I put an excerpt (?) of some of the journal pages that I started when all that was happening to me.
Happy Dreaming.....
Rc
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RollingC said on Sep 20, 2008....
I'm sorry....I don't remember now if I did any posts on dreams although I was meaning to. I did post about some of the experiences that I had during my " spiritual awakening " time but not really the dreams...
Wishful thinking on my part and when I find my journal again I may post about some of the dreams that I had which were very interesting.
Rc
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evil_twin said on Sep 28, 2008....
Rc--I'm sorry it's taken me a week to respond here. I read it but didn't have time to comment, then the post got pushed back in my conversations and I forgot. But thank you for telling me your little trick to dream more. I've actually been trying it :-) I've always had a lot of dreams, so I'm not sure if it's worked yet. But I have been dreaming consistently. Nothing has been all that intriguing though. Yet anyway. But I'll keep trying.
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