Ok so I'm sitting here thinking and searching around and trying to see what this site is all about and I realize that since I'm new here nobody knows ANYTHING about me....lol! Like I said before I'm an regular blogger. Its rare to not see at least ONE blog from me in one day even tho I tend to blog way more then just once in a day. I was rereading my last blog and realized that I mentioned some people that nobody here would have any clue about as they do not know me... YET!!! So I will tell everyone a little bit more about myself then I did in my intro Blog. Since I blog alot about the past two years I will be mainly talking about that up until now but I will go back a little further a little bit of it. So here it goes....

As a teenager I wasn't really into boys... and I dont' mean I was into females...lol! I paid more close attention to my school work and my family. I guess some people might have considered me a nerd but I woudlnt' think so. Anyway shortly after graduration I met Ryan who at the time I thought was the love of my life and after a short time of dating we moved in togather and then a short time later married. We had our ups and downs at first but then it all seemed to be good. I thought I would be with him for the rest of my life.... Then we had Makayla! She was very sick at birth and we almost lost her after I had her two months early by an emergency c-section ( this story is long enough so if anyone is interested in hearing it let me know and I will blog about it) This was in 2000. A year later ( a couple months shy of exactly a year later) Wyatt was born by emergency csection a week past due, this being in 2001. I was happy... I was married to the guy I thought was my soul mate.. of course like any married couple we had our problems but nothing we couldn't get thru. In 2002 is when things started to get rough. But we were handling it... we were having severe financial problems and relationship problems but we were sticking it out. Then I had Gabbie at the end of 2002. After that things started going down hill. Believe I'm in no way shape or form blaming my kids for my failed marriage. I blame him and I blame me... but him mostly. He had a temper problem and a problem with keeping his dick in his pants.. excuse my french! Anyway, after seven years of marriage he decided that the grass was greener on the other side and he walked out on me! Well this brings us to the last two years.....

After he left I moved the kids to Florida! Where my mom is..... and I was there for about a month when Ryan started talking to me about me coming back. I was still in love with him and was estactic that he wanted us to get back togather and work things out.... well I ended up staying there for 3 months before I did come back to only find out after I got back that he didnt' want us to live togather yet. Anyway this blog will be extremly long if I went into every single detail so I will shorten it up a bit.... In the past two years I have moved back and forth to Florida at least 6 times.... I have caught him cheating and still wanted him back... he got married to someone else and still let him talk me into seeing him still and still believed his lies about him coming back. Finally I had my fill of it and I started looking around for someone else. Me being a homebody and being shy I'm not the type of person to go out to clubs and stuff to meet people... so where did I look naturally? The net.... but in the back of my mind I didn't think I would actually find someone. Well after a short phase of the friends with "benefits" and then given that up and then settleing down with the thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life.. I mean who would want a women with three small children and who couldn't have anymore?? Well thats what I thought... Until I came across a profile of a guy that I had passed up emailing a week before.... for some reason I didn't email him before and then thru searches I was doing he didn't show up again until a week later. So I emailed him... we started talking via Yahoo messenger... and we hit it off extremely well. I now know why my first marriage fell thru... it fell thru cause I wasn't meant to be with him. Everything about mine and Lyles ( my fiancee) relationship feels just right.... We talked for about a month and a half on the net.... we talked about EVERYTHING! We were up all hours of the nite talking. We finally met and it was like WOW.... Ever have something staring you in the face and you know this is what your supposed to do, or who your supposed to be with? Well thats how I felt... and he felt the same. After him traveling from Norman to Tulsa two weekends in a row.... I ended up moving here with him. And things have been awesome except for not being able to find a job and an apartment... He treats me right.... He is here for me... He has made me the happiest women in the world. I have no complaints about him. But this leads me up to how I am feeling now about everything else... hence the reason for my last blog! I don't know how much more of the struggle and pain I can take...... If any of this blog is to vauge and if anyone wants to read thru a bunch of blogs and see how my life has been going then you can go to either of these locations :

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile.html;_ylt=At9vDGzjd35ZMu_3i8VwcZi0AOJ3

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=97926002

I might have alot of them unable to view unless your on my friends list so just comment me and I will take it off so you can view. The first one listed has alot more of the past two years then the second one does.... Anway.. this has all lead up to the blog I posted earlier......

I'm an open book.. I don't mind answering questions and I dont' mind letting people know about myself... so any questions about me or anything I have posted just ask and I will be happy to answer :)

Tee