Nine months ago my father, who is 86, had a serious stroke that left his body paralyzed on the left side. He was a strong and vigorous man before this happened and his struggle to recover has been both sad and inspiring.( I have written about my father in another post) I visit him twice a week and try to make the visit a balance of sympathy and distraction. I love to make him laugh and to encourage him. The visits were difficult and too often I would drive home with my heart heavy and my eyes flooded with tears. Then two months ago I decided to write the story of his life, interviewing him during my visits. At first he was a little reluctant and not sure what would be interesting enough to be worth reading, but little by little he has warmed to this task. He has traveled back in time to share his childhood, his school years, and now, his years in the service during WW2. When I left him Saturday we were on Okinawa, where he was living in a tent, eating hash, and in charge of teletype for the communication unit. I have learned things about my father that I never would have known if I hadn't done this and I am so excited about being able to share his story with all of our family. My Father? Well, when I was leaving Saturday he told me to hurry back because there was a lot more he needed to say. That there was so much more where that came from. I smiled all the way home.
The page you were looking for no longer exists
woman posted on Sep 15, 2008
| views: 281
Comments
-
botoni said on Sep 15, 2008....
Woman....You have taken on a project for both you and your father that is going to provide pleasure to all you family let alone the gratification you will both get from doing this. You are a wise and gifted woman. I'll bet you get that from your father. Isn't learning the history of a loved parent a wonderful thing? Keep on smiling. -
beyondtheveil said on Sep 15, 2008....
woman- I find what the two of you are doing truly uplifting. Not only for two, but the family and those to come. If only, if only I had done this especially with my mother and grandparents. My daughter would be beside herself with joy, as would others. -
secretlife said on Sep 15, 2008....
what a great gift from him to you all! and what a wonderful gift you are giving to him! -
skald said on Sep 15, 2008....
What a good idea, writing his story and have him tell you. I am so happy for the two of you. These times you have with him are precious. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Botty~Hello dear friend. So nice to see you here. You are the sweetest talker. No wonder you need a swoon room. Honestly, if I am at all like my father, then I am a happy woman. And yes, his history is simply fascinating. To think it was almost lost is horrid! I keep thinking now that I have to try and complete this while he is able. I am so into it. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Beyond the veil, Thanks for coming by. Have you thought about writing your own history, beginning with what you know of your grandparents and your mother? It would be a lovely gift for your daughter. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Secret, What is it about you that makes me feel like we are old friends? (OK. One of us is a lot OLDER friend!) It is lovely for both of us and the family is eager to read it. Dad told me when it becomes a best seller, he wants half the profit! He is too cute. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Skald! It's been wonderful. A positive way to spend our time together during a sad time. My father is a wonderful human being and every moment I have with him is precious. -
Eilan said on Sep 15, 2008....
It's a wonderful thing you're doing.
My grandma, who would have been your father's age in July, always told such amazing stories about growing up in the 20's, 30's, and war years. About 10 years ago, after my grandpa's death and after she was diagnosed with macular degeneration, she decided to start recording her childhood/young adult memories in a spiral-bound notebook. She even included sketches of floor plans of every house she and her family ever lived in. I'm glad she started doing it when she did, because around 2004-05 she was legally blind and unable to see well enough to write.
I've only seen this notebook once--back in April, we took it to the funeral home the day after she died because she'd also included her funeral arrangements. Apparently she also wrote observations about family members/letters to each of us in her notebook. I'm not ready to read it yet. :(
-
uniquely-ironic said on Sep 15, 2008....
This is fantastic!!! I wish we all had the wisdom and foresight to gather our elder's stories. I can imagine that now he is so involved with this project and it gives him something to occupy his mind. You are also getting to see him in a way that will just add to the love and respect that you already have for him. -
Battycat said on Sep 15, 2008....
Wow, thats a great idea. I keep meaning to do that with my father, as I'm the family historian, but when I ask him stuff I get the feeling he thinks I think it because he's going to die at any minute - it puts me off a bit. Maybe I'll try again though. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Eilan~How fascinating about your Grandmother. She must have been an interesting woman and one with foresight. To include sketches was lovely. Don't wait too long to read it. It will be bittersweet but I imagine it would make her happy and you richer. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
UI~Thanks. My original intent was to distract him and have him think of pleasant times, but it has grown and taken on a life of it's own. He's invested. I'm invested. It is a lovely thing coming out of a sad situation. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Battycat~Maybe you could use this as a reason. That you read about someone else doing it and you just KNEW that he had lots to share about his life. I hope it works out for you because it has been priceless. -
Hegemone said on Sep 15, 2008....
woman, that is really a great thing you're doing. It's something not a lot of people do and it'll be something for the both of you to remember and hold on to. I only wish I had gotten the chance to do that with some people that are now missing from my life. How nice it would be to find out all about their lives and record it so that their memories don't go away with them. Also, perhaps it could be a redeeming chance for a person to say what they most want to but probably wouldn't ever get to. I think I'll keep this matter in mind and maybe select somebody, or maybe more than just one person (although I'm sure it's a lot of work to do just for one), in my life to do this with. For now I'm actually working with my cousin to put together our family genealogy, which so far has come to be quite interesting. I think it'd be kind of a neat addition to get some stories from each person that is still alive and have that to include in it all. I'm sure future generations would enjoy it a lot. Thank you for posting this and widening my horizons a bit. -
Twylarants said on Sep 15, 2008....
What a wonderful idea! I wish I'd thought of that when my parents and grandparents were alive. I'll bet this is helping to speed his recovery, too. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Hegemone~Thank you. Doing your family genealogy is a great idea and I have to agree that if you add some person stories to it that would be terrific. Maybe I should take a clue from you and add a page of the family history on my Dad's side. Good luck to you. -
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Twylarants! Hi there! Maybe you could write you own memories down. And the memories of your family. I think it helps my Dad emotionally. The reality is he is almost 87 and he has been blessed, as we have been, to with us this long. As much as I would like to think he has many years left, this is no doubt our sweet and final chapter. -
gingersoul said on Sep 15, 2008....
Woman....i would have loved to have the possibility to do the same with my father before he passed away...
Its a great thing what you are doing....you will treasure these moments and these conversations forever...
I envy you.
-
woman said on Sep 15, 2008....
Ginger~I do appreciate the sweetness of it and feel blessed to be able to join with my father and write down his lovely story. Thanks for writing. -
tonibell said on Sep 15, 2008....
So wonderful you have developed this relationship with your dad. How lucky you are to have him and hear his stories. A persons life story (espeacially when it's your father) is a cherished thing to hear and to tell. Good for you and your father! -
woman said on Sep 16, 2008....
tonibell~Thanks for stopping by and reading. Yes, my relationship with my Dad is one of the best things in my life. -
scipio said on Sep 16, 2008....
Wouldn't it be nice if the person decides to start writing the memoirs of family and life much earlier in life rather than wait until he/she becomes old and senile and becomes too old to remember the things as they actually happened ? -
woman said on Sep 16, 2008....
scipio~Reflecting on one's life is best done when we are a little older, a little more aware of our mortality. In my father's case, his mind is perfect. His memory is fantastic, only his body has declined. And because of this he is able to give his all to writing his story. If able bodied he would no doubt be running around helping everyone. That is who he is. So, we make the best of a bad situation. -
chrisevans129 said on Sep 16, 2008....
I love this!Once I stumbled upon a homemade scrapbook of sorts that my dad's stepsister created. It included pictures, a family tree, families histories and even a "day in the life" story of family members...as much as she could get. Although it didn't include my side of the family, it was a heart-warming snapshot that is priceless and amazing.On an even more personal note, my favorite recollections of my grandfather are times I spent with him as a little girl and he would tell stories of his 12 brothers and sisters, their life on "the farm" and everything about his younger years. It was the best living storybook ever! I was too young to accomplish what you are doing, but I can totally relate...Keep going!!!! -
woman said on Sep 16, 2008....
Chris~How interesting. My grandparents told me fabulous stories too. They were born in the late 1800's. I was young, busy, and of course immortal, so I didn't write them down. Older but wiser now. On a funny note, my mother is waiting in line, impatient for me to start a book for her! -
chrisevans129 said on Sep 16, 2008....
woman-looks like you've got your work cut out for you! go for it....this is something to be passed down the generations and will be treasured forever. my grandparents and father are gone an i wished i would have done something of this nature. -
scipio said on Sep 17, 2008....
Woman, Thanks appreciate your comment.
I hope for the best for your father.
-
woman said on Sep 17, 2008....
Chris~You didn't mention your mom. Is she game? And if you knew my mother you would know exactly HOW much work I have ahead of me!! -
woman said on Sep 17, 2008....
Scipio~Thank you. -
Lucytorial said on Sep 17, 2008....
Sorry I missed this one. How wonderful to do this while he is still a live. I haven't read above comments btw. You know what will be amazing women is when he does pass away you will have and be able to share his rich history with the whole family.This is such a wonderful idea. -
woman said on Sep 18, 2008....
Hey Lucy~Glad you came by. My father is an amazing man. He is loved beyond reason by his family and all who know him. It's simply an honor to be recording his life.
Comment on "A Silver Lining"
Related Posts:
uniquely-ironic
posted 4 days ago
| views: 265
|
I am a published photographer!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... read entire post
gingersoul
posted 6 days ago
| views: 140
|
Oh well..I am supposed to clean the house and....i am here on SCI am supposed to pay some bills and....i am not
I am supposed to............ read entire post
cuppajava
posted 3 days ago
| views: 90
|
its back for more surgery I go......with a pick axe here and a hatchet there........ read entire post
CreativeWoman
posted 2 days ago
| views: 112
|
Could it be?No ...
Wait ....
Not sure ...
Wait ....
Definitely yes ...... read entire post