• secretlife said on Sep 15, 2008....

  i think it's VERY normal.
  especially these days....
   
  I know it's hard to remember back to when we were teenagers........God knows i thought i'd be able to remember myself, but something about having your own clouds your memory pretty good....but those years are about discovering who you are.  I think it's really possible that she has a crush on her but it might not have anything whatsoever to do with sexuality.
   
   

• Expendable said on Sep 15, 2008....

  It's normal.

• woman said on Sep 15, 2008....

  It is very very normal for girls to have crushes on each other. If your daughter is gay, she is gay. There will be nothing you can do about it except love and accept her. However, at this age it is hard to know. Open conversation and no panic would be helpful I would think.

• FutureGoddess said on Sep 15, 2008....

  You say you are not homophobic?  Obviously, you are if you are that worried about it.  In any case, nowadays being "bi" at her age is very trendy.  They see the stars doing it and think it's okay.  I wouldn't start getting concerned now...

• Eilan said on Sep 15, 2008....

  When I was a teen, I used to crush on (somewhat) older women, particularly if they were already my role models.  I still do it on occasion.  It's difficult to explain, but I wouldn't call it sexual, really.
  
  I don't see anything to worry about.  As long as she's happy and healthy, who cares if she has a crush on a girl?
  

• kruuyai said on Sep 15, 2008....

  A friend of mine once remarked that she was pretty sure her four year old daughter was going to turn out to be gay.  She said that, if that happened, she would give her all the love and support that she needed, but that it worried her, because she knew it was a difficult lifestyle because of societal stigmas.  Maybe that is what your concerns are about?

• Hegemone said on Sep 15, 2008....

  I would say that it is perfectly normal - for some of the reasons listed in the other comments.  The best suggestion I could give to you would be to be open with her.  Make sure she knows she can trust you and that you don't hold anything against her, that you respect her choice, even if you can't 100% accept it.  This might be a hard thing to do, but your daughter will love you all that much more for knowing you were there for her at a very confusing time in her life.  She's still young, this might just be a fleeting thing, it may be a life choice, either way she is still your daughter and nothing will change that and you'll love her no matter what, right?  

• chrisevans129 said on Sep 15, 2008....

  I have a teenage daughter and although I have not experienced this with her, I can understand it.  I remember another mom telling me that once girls hit middle school, they always were touching each other (in a non-sexual way) and she didn't understand it...but she'd seen it with her older daughter and her friends.  I feel it is very hard to be a teen girls these days...so many pressures...and when they find good friends that they trust, or someone they look up to and possibly want to model themselves after, it's very normal for it to seem like a "crush".   I just think it is possibly her identifying with this person and feeling comfortable with her.
   
  If it turns out to be more, so be it.  As long as she is happy and healthy...... 

• sadsack said on Sep 16, 2008....

  
  Thanks everyone,
  
  I am relieved to hear that it is normal and maybe I am unduly worried.
  
  I was concerned for several reasons. Though I am not homophobic, I do live in a conservative society where gays can be actively harassed.(I am not an American)
  
  To be different in any marked way is not the way to a very happy or comfortable life and which mother does not want her kids to be happy and comfortable?
  
  Of course I'll love and accept her whatever her choices may eventually be.
  Thanks again.

Comment on "I'm horribly worried"

Currently tagged	Homosexuality so what Its Okay (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment