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OBAMA BLEW IT: Only One way tO settle things nOw

mOOn_platOOn posted on Sep 08, 2008 | views: 763 | Tags: president, back to the future, interns, fatal error, Republicans, Hillary, Democrats, Clintons, Political Blog, Obama, humor, McCain, politics, palin, election, Biden, campaign, ambassador, secretary of state, vice President

mmmn platmmn

Copyright © 2008 Steve Games First serial rights released to SoulCast. Photos, graphics, contents and characters may not be replicated for use outside SoulCast or commercial use in the open market or on other websites without express permission of the author. All rights reserved.

OBAMA BLEW IT: Only One way tO settle things nOw

Choosing Hillary as his VP would’ve assured Obama’s victory, just as McCain’s choice of Romney would’ve meant McCain’s certain defeat. Now it’s a horserace, and there’s only one way left to decide…

They have to start picking cabinet members now so we can get some idea of what the hell we’re in for. Because so far, we aren’t getting what we’re expecting!

 

For VICE PRESIDENT Obama chose BIDEN

For VICE PRESIDENT McCain chose PALIN

 

Keeping their unpredictability in mind, here are some possible surprises we may be in for:

 

For SECRETARY OF STATE Obama picks PALIN. McCain picks BIDEN

 

For SECRETARY OF DEFENSE Obama picks McCAIN. McCain picks HILLARY.

 

For SECRETARY OF ENERGY Obama picks RICHARD SIMMONS. McCain picks ROSS THE INTERN.

 

For SECRETARY OF LABOR Obama picks JAMES BROWN, the “hardest working man in show business,” posthumously. McCain picks BARBARA NAULTY of Portland, Oregon, who gave birth to two sets of twins and five sets of triplets, which qualifies her for anything.

 

For SECRETARY OF EDUCATION Obama picks LAURA BUSH. McCain picks his old 8th grade instructor MRS. KNOPPS, Teacher of the Year 1926. But still, strangely, hot.

 

For SECRETARY OF HOUSING & URBAN DEVELOPMENT Obama picks AL SHARPTON. McCain picks AL SHARPTON. Who cares?

 

…and just to be sure…

 

For FEDERAL RESERVE CHAIRMAN Obama picks TRUMP. McCain picks that geek from Microsoft BILL GATES and he’d damned well better come to work. And for only $1 a year, too.

 

For SUPREME COURT JUSTICE Obama picks RANDY from American Idol, “…always the most fair and cognizant of the group.” McCain picks CARLOS MENCIA, “…the most judgmental Mexican I know.”

 

For PRESS SECRETARY Obama picks KATIE COURIC. McCain picks WALTER CRONKITE, who might as well make himself useful since he keeps on staying alive, just like “…my mother.”

 

For WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF Obama picks his previously unknown Chicago crony BRUTUS CEASAR. McCain picks CINDY McCAIN, who might as well have a real job since she’s hanging around anyway.

 

For SUSPICIOUS INTERN Obama picks HALLE BERRY. McCain picks SARAH PALIN. No wait, that’s a technical glitch. McCain picks HOT LIPS from M*A*S*H – “…the first one, that movie one. Is she still alive?”

 

For AMBASSABOR AT LARGE Obama picks OPRAH. McCain picks ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., because the people around this putrid world can relate to his personal fuck ups.

 

For POET LAURATE Obama picks MADONNA. McCain picks MORGAN FREEMAN and his staff of writers.

 

Feel free to contribute your own suggestions if you think it’ll help your candidate.

 

Ralph Nader, please reply.

 

  • OO –

 

P.S. dear readers … with 9/11 coming up you may want to check out this, a post of mine from last year. It’s not sad, I promise.

The World Trade Center & Dr. McCoy: The Ups & Downs of mOOn platOOn



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Comments

  • celestialspace2001 said on Sep 08, 2008....
    Hee hee - suspicious intern ---- can I apply?
  • desdemona said on Sep 08, 2008....
    LOL great post..................!!!!
  • TheUndergroundEagle said on Sep 08, 2008....
    What? No appointment for Rev. Wright? What about Jesse Jackson, got to throw him a bone, don't we? How about Ambassador to Libya?
  • HoleInTheCosmos said on Sep 08, 2008....
     
    I have lately grown concerned that Obama, insecure in his inexperience, will indeed surround himself with the Old Guard. It has already begun, has it not?
     
    With the Kennedys lurking over his shoulder and Biden in his ear, there may be significant change, but it may be a change back to the 60s. The Great Society Lives Again!
     
    Is that the change he's been talking about? The Full Circle Change?
     
    The only way he's getting Bill Gates is if Gates gets busted and has to perform community service.
     
    Nice post.
     
     
  • mOOn_platOOn said on Sep 08, 2008....
    Hey, we have to have a little fun with this stuff, do we not?
  • somethingunUSual said on Sep 08, 2008....
    The reason Obama didn't pick Hillary is basic insecurity - he did not want the Clintons around, not realizing that once he's the Prez he could dispatch them to funerals and keep them well out of the way. Tsk tsk, fatal error indeed.
  • pickersplock said on Sep 08, 2008....
    I'm in awe, mOOn!
    LOLOLOLOL
  • theavenger said on Sep 08, 2008....
    I tend to agree with your overall assessment. McCain will now win, but an Obama/Clinton ticket would have won. Of course Obama could have dispatched the Clinton's to state funerals, but then again with the Clinton's  record of "strange" misfortune striking anyone in their way, he could have been worried that it would be HIS funeral.
  • secretlife said on Sep 08, 2008....
    LOL!  funny stuff!
  • CreativeWoman said on Sep 08, 2008....
    Good lighthearted fun, mOOn.

    CW
  • gingersoul said on Sep 08, 2008....
    mOOn........this was excellent!!!......Just loved it!! Good stuff...:-D
  • Kilgore_V_Trout said on Sep 08, 2008....
    You keep surprising me as much as THEY do, ya rascal. A good chuckle.
  • travelr712 said on Sep 08, 2008....
    sally kellerman. she doesn't look quite the same
     
     
    2006_boynton_beach_club_005
     
     
     
  • TheNakedProfessor said on Sep 08, 2008....
     
    You know, there's something unusual about this whole election now. It really seems disingenuous when either side accuses the other of towing the party line. This election seems to me to have transcended party affiliations. So many Dems are going to vote Republican and vice versa, traditional party platforms seems nearly irrelevant. More than ever, and for good reason, this election probably IS about personalities - and probably SHOULD be, at this point.
     
  • mOOn_platOOn said on Sep 08, 2008....
    BREAKING NEWS UPDATE....
     
    McCain wishes to officially withdraw HOT LIPS from consideration for the job of SUSPICIOUS INTERN and replace her with GINGER ROGERS. "You know, that chick with the gams...is she still alive?"
     
  • raulraffinknockknock said on Sep 08, 2008....
    you funny infidel
  • trebleclef said on Sep 08, 2008....

     

    I should think that the first thing to do

    If a change really means "something new"

    Some new cabinet posts

    Would effect change the most

    So creating some would be a clue-

     

    The best defense is sometimes a roar

    I suggest a DEPARTMENT OF WAR

    Why beat 'round the Bush?

    When kicking their tush

    What else is an armed forces for?

     

    The public will be in your zone

    With a DEPARTMENT OF THE UNKNOWN

    UFOs will be sought

    Bigfoot might be caught

    They'll even unmask Skull & Bones

     

    And here's an idea worth a shove

    Create a DEPARTMENT OF LOVE

    Without a debate

    They'll take on all hate

    Their website is DepLove.Gov

     

     

     

  • travelr712 said on Sep 08, 2008....
    unfortunately ginger rogers died in the 80's. boy, was she a knock out!
     
    i was talking with a friend the other day. she said that some of the people she knows were worried that if obama didn't win, there would be rioting in the streets. that got me thinking.
     
    boy george won the first election because his brother was the gov of the state that would decide, and the republican supreme court ruled in his favor. the second time, he lost the popular vote and won on the electorial college. it begins to seem that the republicans have unbalanced, possibly illegal influence over the election process of this country. if it is a close race again and mccain wins by an incongruous method, it just might turn into another rodney king situation, only nation wide.
  • somethingunUSual said on Sep 08, 2008....
    Hey trav, not to worry. If the rioting starts, guess which side has the most guns? That's right, V.P. elect Plain will be sittin' in the window of the White House pickin' off them riotin' liberals like moose on a mound of scat, with Chuck Heston smilin' down from above!!!
  • mOOn_platOOn said on Sep 08, 2008....
    BREAKING NEWS UPDATE....
     
    McCain wishes to officially withdraw GINGER ROGERS from consideration for the job of SUSPICIOUS INTERN and replace her with "You know, that JUNO girl, surely she's still around. She wasn't really pregnant, was she? That's okay with us, you know - pro-life."
  • celestialspace2001 said on Sep 08, 2008....
    Heehee - trebleclef I love your comments!! They always rhyme!!
  • HoleInTheCosmos said on Sep 08, 2008....
     
    Tends to agree with TNP, bipartisan election if I ever saw one. Maybe the first real crossover event of modern times.
     
     
  • Fallyn said on Sep 08, 2008....
    um...mccain as dirty old man. hmmmm. surprise surprise.
  • travelr712 said on Sep 08, 2008....
    omg su, that's too funny!
     
    her i don't know. maybe sarah jessica parker? you know, she's just this side of pretty, and slut enough to carry it off.
  • dailyachesandpains said on Sep 08, 2008....
    mOOn...umm...what about our campaign?
    Your post did make me chuckle!
     
    Seriously though, I thought I made my mind up on Obama last night or so ago.  I do NOT care for either or any of them. 
     
    Then, I heard of Obama's half brother, George Obama living in Africa...in a shack.  Obama hasn't done anything to get his brother out of poverty.  I first read the story that was in Italy's Vanity Fair mag (translated version on line not too long ago) but didn't think too much of it.  That was, until I saw more than pictures and an actual on camera interview (was obviously edited to, IMO, seem like George is happy) done by CNN.  I read a blogger saying the exact thing about it being "Campaign Damage Control" interviewing.
     
    Do you think that Obama might want to help him out a little?  Even if he really doesn't want much to do with him?  George never did anything to Obama and only met him when he was a small boy. You can read about, and watch, the video here. 
     
    Why is this story not getting much attention?  I think it should speak a LOT!  There's not that much personal life matters out there on Obama as there is the other politicians (in comparison). The title of the article on the link of the page says it all "George is what Obama Pretends to be" and that's when it HIT me...they could be right!
     
    Anyway, now I'm back on the "WTF am I going to do when I go to vote" mode.  I would do anything for a relative, half or whole relative...I just don't get it. 
     
    Daily
  • travelr712 said on Sep 09, 2008....
    kinda answers the question of why obama would be so adament about leaving the families out of the campeign doesn't it ui?
  • Fallyn said on Sep 09, 2008....
    arrrrrg. there just isn't any thing to be done is there. *frown*
  • mOOn_platOOn said on Sep 09, 2008....
    Admittedly, this post was intended to be funny. However, I think we do have a right to some idea of who these guys are bringing into the game besides the VPs. I'm not even sure that I WAS joking on Obama's Chief of Staff selection - you can bet your ass that there will be people coming out of nowhere that we didn't elect and never heard of to fill in the leadership gaps. Why shouldn't these candidates have to reveal at least 50% of their selections NOW, before we elect them?
     
    Hmm, hadn't heard about Obama's brother, daily - will investigate. No doubt Plain has some whacky backwoods bumpkins that will emerge as time goes on...
     
  • Dreamknightx said on Sep 09, 2008....
    Billy Carter...Roger Clinton...Neil Bush...Patty Reagan...having embarrassing relatives has never stopped anyone from reaching the White House now, has it?
  • dailyachesandpains said on Sep 09, 2008....
    Dream:  His brother isn't embarassing, it's just the story that will break your heart. 
     
    Trav:  You're NOT kidding.  I just don't understand why he doesn't forward the guy a few bucks just to finish his training to be a mechanic (I believe it was a mechanic).
     
    mOOn:  It's just such a sad story about his half brother.  Even if the guy is happy, it's still so sad for me to read and listen to his soft voice talk about his half brother.  He really wants him to win too!  He seems like such a kind gentle man.  Your post did actually crack me up!  You're an AWESOME VP in my camp!
     
    Daily
  • celestialspace2001 said on Sep 10, 2008....
    The mainstream press is lagging behind you, mOOn....see?
     
     
    Wed Sep 10, 5:32 AM ET

    Republican Rep. Candice S. Miller says Barack Obama had only one shot at Palin-proofing the Democratic ticket — and he missed it when he passed over Hillary Rodham Clinton as his running mate.

    “Every woman in America knows what Barack Obama did to Hillary Clinton: He looked at her and thought, ‘There’s no way I’m doing that,’” said Miller. “If Hillary was on the ticket, he’d be in a much better position to win women voters.”

    Sarah Palin’s presence — coupled with Clinton’s absence — may be altering one of the great verities of American politics: that women voters overwhelmingly favor Democrats.

    A Washington Post-ABC News poll released this week showed white women swinging hard against the Democratic ticket. Obama left Denver with an 8-point lead among white women; by the time John McCain pulled out of St. Paul, Minn., with Palin at his side, he had taken a 12-point lead.

    Former Clinton strategist and pollster Mark Penn on Tuesday said that it’s too soon to know where women will wind up in November, and he declined to engage in any “woulda, coulda, shoulda” speculation about how things might be different if Clinton were on the Democratic ticket.

    But another former Clinton adviser, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that the “Obama people have got to be kicking themselves” for not putting choosing Clinton as his No. 2.

    Julia Piscitelli of the American University’s Women and Politics Institute agreed.

    “I don’t think Palin would be seeing these kind of gains if Hillary was on the ticket,” she said. “When Obama picked Biden, it gave Republicans an opening, and they are taking full advantage of it. ... The question is: How long will it last?”

    The answer, some Democrats say, is not long.

    “I don’t think this is a real swing [in the polls] until it’s been a week, said Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.), one of Obama’s busiest female surrogates. “We’ll need to see whether Sarah Palin is willing to answer questions. ... No one will be a stronger advocate for Barack Obama and Joe Biden than Hillary Clinton.”

    Sen. Blanche L. Lincoln (D-Ark.) also sounded the Palin-will-wilt-in-the-spotlight theme.

    “Sarah Palin delivered a great speech, but we haven’t heard anything else about what she’s going to do,” Lincoln said. “American women are smart, they’re bright and this election isn’t just about Sarah Palin. This is about what they want to do for the country.”

    The Obama campaign has denied that it has a serious problem with female voters.

    On Monday, campaign manager David Plouffe told a Washington Post reporter, “Your poll is wrong,” adding, “We certainly are not seeing any movement like that. Polls, time to time, particularly on the demographic stuff, can have some pretty wild swings.”

    That view won support from two unlikely sources Tuesday: Penn and a Republican senator who backs the McCain-Palin ticket.

    Penn said that women are going to be “the absolute swing vote in this campaign, and it’s not clear which direction they are going to go in.

    “I don’t think it’s a Hillary backlash we’re seeing,” he added. “With Palin on the ticket, we’re going to be seeing this thing swing back and forth.”

    Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), who has had a strained relationship with her state’s governor, downplayed Palin’s power. “I find it difficult to believe that many of the Hillary supporters are going to come over just because of Sarah Palin,” Murkowski said. “It should be about strength of positions” and policy.

    But Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine), who is locked in a tough race of her own, says several women — former Clinton supporters — have come up to her in Maine to say Palin gives them a reason to back McCain.

    “I have never seen such excitement in the Republican Party as we’re seeing in response to Sarah Palin,” Collins said. “I’ve had a lot of Democrats and independent women in Maine who say they’re happy to see a woman on the ticket. Many of them saw an Obama-Clinton ticket as unbeatable. ... That is significant and remarkable.”

    Quinnipiac University Polling Institute Assistant Director Peter A. Brown said the Obama campaign is fooling itself if it discounts the importance of the problem. “This isn’t about Hillary; it’s about Obama’s problem with white women voters,” he said. “Hillary won about 10 million votes from women voters in the Democratic primaries — there are 52 million women voting in the general election.”

    Clinton has said she’ll hit the road for Obama, but her team says she refuses to be an anti-Palin “attack dog.” Further complicating matters for Obama, Hillaryland fundraiser Susie Tompkins Buell is leading a group that will fight media sexism against the Alaska governor.

  • TheUndergroundEagle said on Sep 12, 2008....
    Did you catch Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson? She was ignorant about the Bush Doctrine, but he came across as an absolute pompus ass.
     
    That fool kept asking her in his own words if it was okay to cross the Pakistan border without permission to get bin Laden, and she kept telling him in her own words, YES, but he wouldn't accept it unless she either said "Yes" or "No" and repeated his question 3 times despite being clearly answered.
     
    And he seemed so laid back that it was disrespectful. He could barely keep his eyes open.
     
    I now officially dislike ABC News and Charles Gibson, as well as Palin.
     
    God the media can suck.
     
  • RollingC said on Sep 22, 2008....
    :^)

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