I am seriously pissed right now.
I started 2008 off with a bang. I had a job, and thanks to the good old hand of corporate America, I was out of work. After three long months of pulling my hair out, looking over ad after internet ad, I ffelt like pulling my hair out. Before my very eyes flashed the inevitable requirements...Must have five years experience...must be willing to relocate...must possess intimate love for bullfrogs, yada, yada, yada. I'm hedging on that one.
Nonetheless, after those three grueling months, I found a job, a nice job that I liked in the beginning. That was before I got pitiful stares from my coworkers, having been shut out from the office gossip. I could feel it coming. And yes, I lost my job again. Of course, that came a month after having the office manager repeatedly tell me I'm stupid.
I am sick and tired of this!!!!!!
So here I am trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing right now. I'm once again pulling my hair out searching for jobs.
I receive call after call. Yesterday it came from a pushy recruiter who demanded I sign and send the paperwork by Sunday night.
"Are you a recruiter?" I puff. I'm sure she caught the drift that I was pissed. Oh, and then you have the employer who is so excited to get you in the door for an interview. Then silence. No call for a week.
Of course then, there's the inevitable crunch for cash. "Will we have enough money? What are we going to do when the bank cashes in? What if, what if, what if...
My entire life has been a series of what ifs. I nearly died when I was nine. Struggled to find a life, get a boyfriend, get a job, put myself through college, etc.
I feel like I'm complaining. I shouldn't complain. I've been holding things back all my life, and I'm tired of it.
I love how the nice guy finishes last. Well, that stops now. No more holding back. I got flack from my mother the other day for trying to find a job in a busy city. "That's too dangerous. You'll have to travel too much. Moving away was the wrong thing to do......"
So I turned the story around. I said, "I know you don't like me working there, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do." At that point, I think she caught my drift.
So let me ask you this. How would you react to all this criticism, all this angst?
