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And now ladies and gentlemen, the verdict: Can we still be friends?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've decided that I am not ready to exclusively date this one or see this one as more than friends, and I was honest. I told this person that I did not feel any spark whatsoever. What I felt before was just the novelty of it all, but it was not really worth pursuing into something more. I told him that I wanted to remain as friends and nothing more. If he wants to stop wasting his time by becoming my friend, its okay, no hard feelings on my part. As I said, I cannot offer anything more than that.

The funny thing is, when I was almost close to saying a yes, lo and behold, my ex boyfriend suddenly comes in the door ordering from the same coffee shop that we were in. I panicked, I told my friend that we should leave because my ex is there. I don't know if my ex saw me, but one thing is for sure, if I am always on the defensive/flight mode, it means I haven't moved on quite yet. I told my friend this fact, and funny, he understands. I guess we are both rational intellectuals. Let's just see if he would still talk to me by tomorrow.

Yes, I'm still on the market, but not for anything serious. Gosh, do I sound like a guy who is afraid of commitment? I probably do, but I can't be in anything right now, if I still have no idea of who I want to be with? Right? Right? I'd rather be a jerk than be a bigger jerk in the process. (Now I sound like an obnoxious self centered bitch, which I probably am right now).

Oh well, no hard feelings!

Cheeeerreeeyoooooo,
J






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Comments

  • botoni said on Sep 06, 2008....
    Wonderfully wise on your part.  I hope it can be a good friendship.  What dictates that we have to turn everyone who starts as a romantic interest into a lover?  Sometimes friends are way superior to lovers.  The right one will come along.
  • dazed_and_confused said on Sep 06, 2008....
    botoni. Thanks. Though I still feel like a jerk, but I don't want to be in a relationship half heartedly. Thank you, I hope so. Though I have this notion that I'll probably be a spinster for life. :>

    Cheers
  • queenparanoia said on Sep 06, 2008....
    youre not a jerk!!!! youre just being honest!!!!
     
    and well at least you guys are still friends and as boti said friends can end to lovers... lol...
     
    and oh wow youre ex was in the coffee shop!?!??!?!!?!?!
     
    takbu!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol... ;-)
     
    but honestly, if you feel you made the right decision for yourself you dont have to be sorry for that.... life mo yun eh... so dont feel sorry... tsaka youre right! di ba mas masakit if you didnt love him naman di ba?
     
    hayyyy... heart talaga... ;-)
  • dazed_and_confused said on Sep 06, 2008....
    queen. Thank you. However, I don't see myself as his girlfriend or anybody's gf  anytime soon. :>

    Yes, he was in there. I thought I was just seeing things, but then, when I looked harder, he was there! YIKES!  Actually, I fled the scene (ala CSI)

    I know, but as I told my officemate when I was asking for her advice, how would I know if its love when I'm not sure what it is. I mean I've had exes before, and I'm not sure if its really true love. (I think I'm confusing everyone here).

    Cheers,
    J
  • botoni said on Sep 06, 2008....

    Here is my method to tell if its really love.  I wake up with my love on my mind.  I think about my love all day long.  I fall asleep dreaming about my love.  When I add all that together I am absolutely sure its either love or obsession.  LOL.....As Frank said  "When it hits you in the eye like a big pizza pie......" you'll know.

  • dazed_and_confused said on Sep 06, 2008....
    botoni. If I would base it on that method, I'd probably say I haven't been in love, ever. Well what happens to me is that give me a week or two and I'll be like that (all thinking, all caring, but not dreaming, don't know why, LOL), and wham, after this period or some misgivings, the feeling goes away, and I assume that what I felt was just the novelty of it all, and stop seeing the person altogether.

    Update:
    Apparently, we are still friends, nothing changed, he still is the first person to greet me in the morning today, and I replied and felt that we are still very much friends. Whew.

    Cheers
  • queenparanoia said on Sep 06, 2008....
    hay.... i dont know too... but i'm glad you guys are friends now... ;-)

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