1: Shout at the ground. "I hate you! I hate you! I will never obey you again! You are the worst gravity in the whole world! All my friends have better gravities than you! I'm going to run away if you ever pull me down again! Get out of my life!
2: Deliberately refuse to be pulled to the ground by its force. Use any means at your disposal including, but not limited to, helium baloons, hot air baloons, a beany cap with supercharged propeller, jet boots, a jet pack, a personalized pogo stick, use of a helicopter or airplane, a space vessel etc.
3: Use reverse psychology. Jump off a cliff and shout, "If you want me, then TAKE me!"
4: Trampoline and shout "I'm FREE" on the way up and "Damn you" on the way down.
5: Carry protest signs around the Washington Monument saying, "Gravity Unfair" and "Vote Gravity Out of Nature!"
6: Spread ugly rumors about gravity among your friends to try to smear its name. Tell them that gravity is responsible for tens of thousands of prolems every year from skinned knees on children to the death of mountain climbers. Decry its vile nature. After a proper smear camplain, demand its resignation on the threat of being impeached.
7: Jump up and down as hard as you can as an effort to stomp it out of existence. Shout insults toward Isaac Newton inbetween curses!
8: Tell all your friends to defy gravity in all the ways expressed above so that you can tire it out. Maybe it will get weak, thinking it just isn't worth the trouble, and release us all from its angry grip!
9: Tell Mother Nature that gravity is cheating on her so that she divorces it once and for all!
10: Pray that God will serve justice on gravity and eliminate the force that has caused the suffering of mankind since the beginning of the world!
11: Stick out your tongue toward the Earth and sayl, "Nanny Nanny Poo Poo!"
12: Draw a picture of it, pin it to the wall and toss darts at it.
13: Challenge it to a duel.
14: Moon it!
15: Remind it how weak it is compared to magnetism or the forces holding atoms together!
16: Pour ten gallons of whiskey into the ground and when gravity is thoroughly drunk, go in for the kill!
Be sure to look under the tag "Dobbs" to see all my other writings which include 3 full books, poems and short stories for the young and old.
