Fallyn's tags:
i was cleaning out a drawer.
there's a letter i've been saving for a long time from the guy.
a love letter.
we hadn't seen each other in over a month...maybe two and we were going to go to a convention together.
it was a very beautiful letter.

i reread it.
i shouldn't have.
now my chest is tight.
i had gotten used to him not being like that......and now?
god. *sigh*
now it hurts all over again.
i'd TOTALLY forgotten how deeply in love we were.
and a few stupid mistakes on my part messed it all up.
granted they were rather big mistakes.
but at the same time i thought he knew how much pressure i was under.
how screwed up my life was.
i thought he could stand by me while i made mistakes.

i guess i hurt him too much.

GRRR. i thought the pain was gone!!!!! why the hell did i think i was ready to read that letter???

it was a beautiful letter. *sigh*

stupid tears.

*frown* i still love him.


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Comments

  • Battycat said on Sep 05, 2008....
    ((((((((((hugs))))))))))  nothing more I can say :-)
  • uniquely-ironic said on Sep 05, 2008....
    I'm sorry. (passes a hanky to you) It will get better.
  • wombat said on Sep 05, 2008....
    We all visit the "what if's."  I am sorry to hear that it made you sad to re-read a letter like that.  I hope it was at least heartfelt and original.  I read some old letters once from a special guy to his ex....and they were like duplicate letters to me.  Only the name is changed.  I don't mean to make light of it....I know how you feel.  And I hope you keep the letter only as long as it is relevant to your needs, however long that may be.

    (and a hug here)
  • Fallyn said on Sep 05, 2008....
    womby.....i don't think it could be duplicated. ...it wasn't "typical" i appreciate the hug.
    thankyou.

    UI thankyou, i know it will.  and thanks for the hanky.....it's not soaked....just a little damp.

    batty. thankyou...hugs are enough.
  • queenparanoia said on Sep 06, 2008....
    well it's hard to forget... love kinda sucks that way...
  • Fallyn said on Sep 06, 2008....
    it really does. yeah. *frown*

Comment on "i thought i was ready....but i wasn't."

love past sadness (Click to add tags below)

(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)

I knew it was coming. We thought we would lose him earlier this year to congestive heart failure. Somehow this wonderful soul hung on for a few more months and at 4:30 this morning he slipped away in his sleep. He was like a father to...
Don't you love technology? Take the he magic world of web cameras for example......:-)...
We finally told our families! Much rejoicing.......
Well, about twelve years ago I handed my mother a brown paper grocery bag...
.. for the first time in five years.. for the first time ever.. what a magical wonderful first time!! Here's a slice out of my life.

:-)...

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