i was cleaning out a drawer.
there's a letter i've been saving for a long time from the guy.
a love letter.
we hadn't seen each other in over a month...maybe two and we were going to go to a convention together.
it was a very beautiful letter.
i reread it.
i shouldn't have.
now my chest is tight.
i had gotten used to him not being like that......and now?
god. *sigh*
now it hurts all over again.
i'd TOTALLY forgotten how deeply in love we were.
and a few stupid mistakes on my part messed it all up.
granted they were rather big mistakes.
but at the same time i thought he knew how much pressure i was under.
how screwed up my life was.
i thought he could stand by me while i made mistakes.
i guess i hurt him too much.
GRRR. i thought the pain was gone!!!!! why the hell did i think i was ready to read that letter???
it was a beautiful letter. *sigh*
stupid tears.
*frown* i still love him.



