So I was feeling down, knew in my heart that my current lover man was not working out. But how do you say goodbye to 5 years? Well I finally figured it out and told him that I needed space and we should break up.
Funny thing is I wasn't even sad. I mean not sad like how you should be when you leave someone after 5 years!! I didn't cry and had no trouble sleeping. So I guess what I'm saying is that it was over, way over before I actually did the deed.
The only thing I'm really mourning is me...I'm 32 with a five year old son and I can't help but think that the whole love/marriage thing is not going to happen for me. Everyone keeps telling me that at this age just about everyone out there has kids/past relationships; and so it won't be hard to find someone. But my heart won't listen to reason and its sure that I'm destined to be alone.
So its been about three weeks and he wants to work it out. He's been texting about how he is ready change and we can start over. But I've heard it before and nothing was new or changed. Can't go back now, just have to be as strong as I can.
