- Don't belittle their feelings or thoughts, or dismiss them as unimportant. They are people, just younger and smaller than you.
- Don't compare them to other kids, adults, their siblings, or even you. Don't say things like, "I could do that when I was your age, how come you can't?"
- Don't brag about all of your accomplishments without encouraging them about theirs.
- When they ask for money for something they really want (such as a yearbook, class ring, car, etc.), give them the opportunity to earn it, help them think of ideas of earn the money, or discuss the purchase with them. But don't dismiss their request as unimportant.
- Don't justify yourself when you know you need to say sorry. Just be humble enough to admit your mistakes.
- Don't be a perfectionist and demand that your child do everything right.
- Don't criticize them for every little thing that they do wrong, and give them no encouragement when they do things right.
- Don't demand that your child bring you or your family honor by becoming an overachiever. Instead, encourage them to do their best according to their ability.
- Don't dismiss your child's fears. Help them overcome their fears by taking practical, achievable steps.
- Don't dismiss your child's social life or popularity as being unimportant. Help them to be a social success and to make friends.
- Don't demand only perfect behavior from your child; help them to be motivated to do what's right from their hearts.
- Appreciate whatever strides your child takes to learn something new. Don't criticize and take over what they are doing, because then they will never practice on their own, or most likely will quit because they don't feel like they are good enough.
- If your child tries to learn more about your culture or language, appreciate it and encourage them to learn more, instead of criticizing them for not getting it perfect.
- Show your kids what you do at your job, and how you do things, like balancing the checkbook. That way they will get to know you better and learn some valuable skills, too.
- Please don't work all the time and never have fun with your kids. Take them places, have fun with them. Those will be their most memorable moments of their childhood. My best memory of my dad was when he took me and my brother out to eat, just the three of us. Unfortunately it was an extremely rare occasion. The rest of the time it was work, work, work for him.
- Give your children spiritual, moral and ethical guidance instead of just demands. Otherwise, they might resort to unethical means to try to live up to your standards.
- Show your children plenty of affection and love. Bind their heart to yours. Don't expect them to show you love if you haven't been showing them any.
- When your children become adults, learn to let go. Let them make their own decisions.
- Don't promise things to your kids, and then break your promise. Don't say, "let's go to the zoo today," and then not do it. Eventually, they will distrust your word.
badasianmom posted on Sep 05, 2008
| views: 101
Comments
-
Scaramouche said on Sep 05, 2008....
19. ...have any more, for gods sake. -
BurnedOut said on Sep 05, 2008....
This was amazing!!! I'm a young Indian father, so I need all the advice I can get. Thank you. And by the way, why is your name "bad"asianmom? -
badasianmom said on Sep 05, 2008....
Scaramouche, I added a #19.
Hi Burned, I created this list from my personal experiences as a child of Asian immigrants. I call myself Bad Asian Mom because this is my blog to express all of my negativity and not be so nice. You can read more about me in my introductory post. http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/151436/Who-Am-I%3F
Comment on "If You Have Kids, Please Don't:"
Related Posts:
Hegemone
posted 8 days ago
| views: 68
|
My dad isn't even that old yet (46) ... but I find myself dealing with an 'aging' (if you even call it that, at his age I wouldn't personally ... but forgetting his age and just looking at personality, I'd call him aging) parent.... read entire post
peoplenology
posted on Nov 16, 2008
| views: 44
|
Easy Earth Enterprises Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D. Sally Sandborn Nelson Ph.D.
Nollijy Franklin University Research Institute Copyright 10012008... read entire post
peoplenology
posted on Nov 16, 2008
| views: 22
|
All this contained in one new science entitled Virtues of Leadership and LovePeopleNology
Gregory Bodenhamer Ph.D.
PeopleNology
Nollijy University Research... read entire post