This friendship has been going on for about a year now. I guess if you can really call it a friendship. I took her and her girlfriend out to lunch a year ago and now we IM each other from time to time just to see how one another is doing. It feels like her purpose for IMing me is to see if I am more miserable than her. Or she is looking to tell me how wrong I am.
Now, I have tried to get rid of this girl several times She has been fearful of me with her girlfriend. Which the woman is gorgeous and if she was single I would but, that's not the situation so, I wouldn't.
Anyway, when she found out I was trying to get pregnant she basically told me I was being selfish. I was jeopardizing not only my own health but my child's because of my cancer and the treatments. This pissed me off. She knew I had cancer but, didn't know the name or what all was affected. She knew I did chemo but doesn't know what drugs and why they were chosen. She knew that I had seen several specialists but didn't know the discussion or the outcome of those appts. Its not that kind of friendship.
Mostly, it is:
Friend: Hi, How are you?
Me: Fine
Friend: That's Good. How do you feel?
Me: Great
Friend: Really?
Me: Yeah, Really!
It just seems the conversation is fake and a way for her to feel better about herself by trying to find someone who is in a worse place than her. I was that easy target when I was doing chemo. Of course, it was a sure bet that I would be worse that day then her.
Well, when she found out I was pregnant she stated "I can't believe a doctor would allow that!" That was pretty mucht he last straw for me. I didn't say anything right away. Just backed away from the conversation.
I gathered my thoughts and today sent her email detailing our so-called friendship and asking her not to contact me again. I know this is the right choice. It is a horrible friendship. I will miss her girlfriend though. She is funny and witty. Which I think is why this is so hard. I wish I could remain friends with her.
I am cutting people lose though. I have realized that some people are just like the cancer I fought. Their purpose isn't to see you survive but to see themselves survive better than you. They don't build you up and support you. They want to keep you knocked down so they can continue to feel better about their own lives. Its sad that people have to be that way. I won't ever treat anyone like that.
