There's a price to pay for healing well and getting back on my feet - Sunday afternoon, I get to say goodbye to my darling as he heads home to Delhi to tie up his loose ends. Our hope is that he should be back in New York by the end of November, early December. I've already started crying - so much for my fear of dependence.
Here's the thing - I know that I can live without him. I just don't want to anymore. Having him here feels more natural than I ever thought it would - we just fit together. I don't mean to paint this picture of perfection. There have been disagreements and discussions, but that's a positive thing. I don't feel smothered or marginalized by him. I can and do speak my mind in a way that I was never able to achieve in my past relationship. Even when T doesn't agree, I can be sure he is listening and that makes it so much easier to reach some sort of compromise.
My family seems to really love him - though there were a couple of awkward moments, like when my little 3 yr old niece asked in the middle of dinner "Hey Ma, who's the brown guy?" Nothing like a little cultural diversity - hahaha. By dessert, she had made herself completely at home, and within the hour, she had fallen asleep in T's lap. All of the kids have taken to him so well.
I find myself wondering what I will do without him for the next 3 months. My heart is so filled with him - and all this time, I thought a connection like this was impossible. That part of me seemed irreparably broken. Thank God, I was wrong.
I don't want to waste the next two days thinking about it, but it is going to be so hard to say goodbye.
