angie ann, she was a flirt
five-foot-seven half-hindi eyes look up at me
but no i say, you're my friend my pupil almost like a daughter
i'm in love with another woman
i love you too i say, but not that way
funny how i can't touch you because i dont love you
and i cant touch the woman i love because she doesnt love me
and she's far away and she loves me too but not that way
but angie ann she often sends me mobile text to say
hey check out ngc. hey there's something on bbc. hey go to hbo.
battle of thermopylae on ngc, she says.
hbo's showing empire of the sun tonight, she says.
she knows i love war movies.
fucking bloody gory war movies.
she and i we share a swooning love for john malkovich
angie ann she lies on her bed watching malkovich.
and i lie on my bed watching malkovich.
she comments on his acting
and i make fun of the dialogue.
and we talk to each other on our respective beds
and she flirts with me on the phone
and i say go to sleep girl
your mom needs you early tomorrow to do house chores
and i need to do some serious academic work
and i can't flirt with her
but she worms into my sleepy mind
so i do a palindrome instead.
like, you know,
"a man, a plan, a canal -- panama!"
but this time on angie ann
angie ann gie anngie anngiangiangiangian...
fuck that's no palindrome.
that's word play. verbal foreplay.
once i saw angie ann show her tattoo
on her private parts that no other man should see
unless he was her lover
and im not her lover
but she showed it to me
in a fit of flirty fun.
semi-sanskrit sans script
i asked her what it meant
and she said i can easily show her what it means.
nervous laughter emanates. we didnt do what it meant.
and i finally sleep with that piece of quiet noise in my head
chanting the mantra of angie ann gie angie ann on my lips.
but my mind has its own mind.
it sinks into the faded image of another womantra so far away fading away feigning away faking away flaking away fucking away looking away so far away....
i love her. she loves someone else.
maybe i should love angie ann because she likes me a lot.
i love humankind. does humankind love me back?
palindromes are an insomniac delight.
but i cant do palindromes no more tonight.
fuck the light.
good night.