I woke up at 8am. Streching my arm, reaching to one side then the other, the very first thought was your already awake. On the second thought, i opened my eyes and saw that im alone in my room. I broke out crying again, but there were no tears left.

Its after noon by now, and i didnt leave my room. Most the time i spent in my bed staring at emty walls the ceilling or our picture on the shelve, or im on the floor keeping myself busy with the computer, but my eyes starting to hurt. i wanna call you, but your sleeping.

Im starting to build a self protection slowly. I dont have energy to cry any more, i dont eat and im too lazy to take tony out. it feels like i dont need anything. i feel like those jellyfishes we saw in the sea, needless, worthless, nothing to do. i just wanna lay here until i can see you again. i hate to be without you, i hate to be alone.

im wondering if its depression or if im just having a hard time to get used to the fakt that your gone now. it could be both

All i know is that i truly love you, and that kills me