• day2day said on Aug 28, 2008....

  hello c's wife,
  There are no words that i can say to help you, but i feel your pain. And, it's ok.
  You are going thru a stage. Rage can build up into a big ball on your back.  I think you each loved each other very deeply. Yes, your husband was taken too early with so many unfulfilled memories. But, you have so many to remember too. Try and keep those memories alive. Blog about them and they will remain fresh. You can keep track of your progress. There are a lot of people here in the SC community that will help you along the way.  Say whatever you like, but make sure you add positive things that you think will help you heal. Then when you start feeling the healing strength of yourself, you can quickly help the children. They need you to be strong. And, you can do it. Stay strong. Move forward.
  day

• sadsack said on Aug 30, 2008....

  My dear,
  My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. I lost both my mother and my sister very suddenly so I know the pain an unexpected death can bring.
  
  What can I say? Time is the only healer. You will never be free of the pain, but the intensity will lessen. Why did a good man die? This is a question many have asked, but none can answer. In the meanwhile, please think of your children, they have to face the loss of their father as well as a mother who is full of anger. I know this is easier to say than to do, but be there for them. They need you. You have to be the rock in their lives.
  I'll pray for you and your family.
  

• truthsayer said on Aug 30, 2008....

  All I can offer you wife of Condrick, is my love.  I am crying as I write this.  I can only feel pain with you, and fear.  I feel fear when I read your pain.  Not fear for myself, or fear for you...but pure unexpressed fear!  Fear that you cannot go on without him. Fear that your children will never know him again, his hugs, his advice, his strength.  I know if I were you, I would be so afraid.  I would not want to, I would not want to feel angry either...but we both know that I would!!!  Lord knows I would!!!  
  
  
  So rage at him!  Rage at God.  He is big, huge, tremendous and terrible!  He can handle it.  Let him help though...let people help too.    Let your children have their pain, whether it comes out as pain, fear or anger too.  Get into a Christian group, counsel with someone at church, or your pastor...but DON'T try to deal with this alone.  
  
  
  And know this:  You are already strong!  Or else you would not be able to express this anger and know that you have to redirect it from others to the One you are angry with...also, my new friend...if you will allow me to be a friend in Christ to you...I would suggest that you consider the fact that you may even be angry with your loving husband for leaving.  You know he is with God now, but anger isn't rational, grief isn't "rational".  
  
  
  I was so angry with my grandmother many long decades ago...when she died.  And she was old...78.  But she had been my "rock".  The one that helped me through my life, the one I didn't think I could live without back then.  Now, it is our spouses that we feel that way about...and no one can feel exactly what you do...we can only cry with each other.  Obviously, I am not really there...but if I was, I would let you beat on my chest until you cried...if it would help.
  
  
  Journal yes.  But call your church for help as well.  We have a very small community of believers here on Soul Cast.  I will help however I can; however you will let me.
  
  
  All I have to offer is my love, and the truth that you will get through this and also; he still loves you.  Love never dies.
  
  
  Blessings and much, much love, 
  
  
  Truthsayer  

• wishyouwerehere said on Aug 31, 2008....

  Your anger is perfectly understandable, Condrickswife.  There are times when life's unfairness is so blatant that we cannot possibly ignore it.  There may be a temptation to look for meaning - why us when, yes, there are so many deadbeat dads, womanizers and wife-beaters?  Unfortunately, death and tragedy are universal.  There's no other message here - no way do you deserve this anguish.  I am a firm believer that, sometimes, the why does more harm than good.  It is a question that cannot be answered.  Would there ever be a suitable reason that could soothe your grief?  Of course you are angry!
   
  You are going through a horrible time, and without the support of your beloved - please avail yourself of some counseling and allow others to comfort you, even though they may not fully understand the magnitude of your loss.  Is there a bereavement group you might join?
   
  My deepest condolences.  I am sorry you are hurting this way.  I hope you find peace - Wish
   
   
   
   

• cuppajava said on Aug 31, 2008....

  Hi - I am not trying to be forward - but i have been where you are now.Talk to me.i think I can help you,I think....

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