I am so drained…I am exhausted and I wish I could put my head on my desk and close my eyes for a couple of minutes.

Last night my husband and I had sex…we have been doing this a lot lately…real proper sex.  This is very unusual for me.  I was tired and didn’t feel up to it really but I felt quite bad because in the throes on Saturday night, I actually fell asleep…not once but three times!!!  I don’t know if he noticed…but regardless, I felt duty-bound last night just incase he did. 

I don’t enjoy sexual sounds or talking of any sort during sex… last night he was extremely verbal…I find it utterly repulsive.  He wanted me on top and was making comments about my body and how “hot” he thought I was.  He had his hands all over me…I hated it.  It felt disgusting and depraved.  So utterly repugnant …I cannot find the right words to describe how revolting it felt.  I had to stop it which I did…I really just wanted him to get done…get his hands off me and to get away.

He knows how I feel about it as he caught me once with my hands over my ears during sex because I couldn’t tolerate the sounds he was making… so I had to explain… I don’t know what he was thinking last night; he knows I don’t like it.

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache, had my breakfast and threw up a little while later… perhaps I am coming down with something.

I know I need to try this again…I understand that it’s not normal and that people do actually talk and the like during sex.  How do I get past these feelings?