I woke up this morning mad.
I was mad at me! Actually, mad would be a bit of an understatement. I was furious at me! On December 29, 2007 I put up a "Goal Plan to become a Future Goddess" and I woke up thinking that I hadn't accomplished a single thing.
I am a fabulous planner, goal setter, and obviously a hypocrit about what I want to accomplish, because after almost 8 months I have nothing to show for it - I am still unemployed, not happy with my body, haven't met the man of my dreams, etc. And for no other reason than I have been lazy about accomplishing these goals. I have more than a dozen posts claiming how I am going to change, what i am going to do - yet, still I stay stuck in this place where I am not truly happy.
The one positive thing I can say is that I have been out of depression for a number of months - I actually feel like there IS light at the end of the tunnel. And this is a good thing. But I had spent so much time on my ass, watching tv, doing nothing but feeling bad that it has become a horrible habit.
But waking up mad has a really good result! I am DONE!! I am done "must"erbating - I must do, this I must do that. and I am done "Should"ing all over myself - "I should be doing this, I should be doing that." This anger is motivating me in a way that I have not been motivated in a really long time.
And before I conclude this post - I have to thank Silverwhisper specifically - while reading over all of my old "goal" posts, I have gotten a lot of tremendous feedback from many wonderful people - without listing all of the names which would take this post to two or three pages (and I truly thank all of of you for your support over the past 8 months) - but Ed not only has provided really nice, supportive comments, he has also provided some really excellent feedback which, while should have motivated me at the time, are now really motivating me to move forward. Thank you, Ed.
