CBS has been bringing MMA to a larger audience. Originally it was all centered around Bimbo Slice, the very nice and smart bearded black man from Florida who defeated both The Colossus and the creature growing out of The Colossus's cauliflour/tomato/grapefruit ear.
The emphasis on Bimbo ran into a snag when it became apparent that Bimbo doesn't have a good enough ground game to be competitive at the higher levels of MMA and is too old to learn it now. So his opponents have to be carefully picked, or "cherry picked". They have to suck at the ground game just like Bimbo does. Can you imagine what a Frank Mir would do to Bimbo? He'd tie him in a knot and then make a double knot out of it, leaving Bimbo's head permanently stuck up his ass.
Once you get your purple belt in jiu jitsu, you are therefore disqualified from consideration against the big Bim. And if you were an award winning wrestler at a prestigious college, or you were in contention for NCAA championship recognition in wrestling, you are also extremely disqualified to fight Bimsy.
He therefore has no future in MMA. There are too many good ground fighters. The world champ is Emelianenko, the World Champion in sambo, a form of ground fighting. The UFC champ is Minotauro Nogueira, commonly called Noriega by those who remember the Panamanian with pimples but who don't watch MMA on tv. He's another wizard on his back. And of course Frank Mir AND Brock Lesnar. They'd all easily, and I mean Easily, destroy, and I mean Destroy, Bimsy Slice. Like beating up a baby. And there's nothing Bimsy can do about it, now or later or ever, because he's too fuckin old to do anything about it. The old fart is nearly as old as I used to be at his age.
So ..... CBS is branching out into other interesting MMA things. The best thing it's doing is giving us goils. Gina Carano. Cyborg. Too bad they couldn't get Tara LaRosa, but somebody else got her and is therefore soon going to dominate the whole female MMA thing. I hear they made Tara rich. Good for her.
Then they can give us the big showdown one of these days so we can get to see Tara beat the shit out of cutie Gina or aggressive Cyborg. Maybe CBS will avoid that and make like the WBA WBC IBF WBO bullshit, keeping the second and third best completely isolated from the best.
CBS also gave us a pretty good championship fight between a guy we're very familiar with, Gracie black belt Nick Diaz, and this handsome white smily Hawaiian kid K.J. Noons, a professional boxer as well as a pro MMA guy, looking for a world title in both. You'd think bad boy Nick Diaz with his middle fingers flying high like flags and his surly angry face radiating "pissed off" would beat on our boy Noons but such was not the case. Noons bloodied him up something awful and won a TKO on cuts.
They scheduled a rematch in October but Noons just recently backed out of it. His manager did, that is. Noons probably had nothing to do with the decision to back out of the Diaz rematch. Noons's manager said a rematch with Diaz will do nothing for Noons. Well, it will do nothing for Noons if Noons gets his ass kicked. Other than that, why wouldn't a rematch be a good idea considering the first fight was just stopped on cuts rather than it being a decisive beat-down?
Noons's manager said that they want to fight Eddie Alvarez instead of Nick Diaz because Eddie Alvarez is better than Diaz. Maybe he's right too. Eddie Alvarez is very likely better than Nick Diaz. But if it was me at CBS I would be booking a rematch with Nick Diaz first, definitely, because there is interest in it, because the first fight ended so shittily, because Nick Diaz gave everyone the finger. Strike while the iron is hot. If Noons puts in Alvarez first, it will water down the interest in a Diaz rematch. It will be a distraction and they will be squandering an opportunity to strike while the iron is hot.
The idiot manager of Noons said it is of no importance that Eddie Alvarez is taking time off for an injury to heal and also, more importantly, to get married and go on a honeymoon. The stupid manager said it takes 15 or 20 minutes to get married.
Reminds me of this guy I used to work with. He took time off to get married and go on a honeymoon. An obnoxious client called the job to speak with him and demanded his home phone number, called his home, got his dad, and his naive dad gave the client his son's phone number at his honeymoon, and the son of a bitch called him on his honeymoon with more bullshit to aggravate him with.
According to Emily Post in her book Proper Etiquette For All Situations, the proper response that the employee's father should have given to the client who was insisting on how important his business was that it had to interrupt the son's honeymoon was "Fuck you, you fucking asshole." That according to Emily Post.
