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Trying on The Hat of Cerebrality

PaigeLe'Editor posted on Aug 21, 2008 | views: 225 | Tags: Memo, meeting, yawnyala
...and it didn't work!
 
Memo:
 
To: All
From: Paige
 
B. B. placed the most yawnyala piece of writing on my desk this AM.
I had just finished the most divine hazelnut cappuccino, courtesy of Ms. Lucy, yet I was instantly lulled back to sleep.
I awoke to very loud Lenore knocking at exactly 12:14!
Instantly, it hit me, like a ton of JC Penney's! 
Our client could quite possibly replace Sominex!
 
Would someone please call, Ted, in advertising and schedule an early meeting?
I've been trying to reach the man all afternoon!
 
Come to think of it, Bambi's been strangely silent today as well!
Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking? 


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Comments

  • Expendable said on Aug 21, 2008....
    I think so Paige, but where are we going to find enough lederhosen for the tap-dancing penguins?
  • junioreditor said on Aug 21, 2008....
    Ex, have you sent your attack penguins to dancing school? I just adored the little one you brought in on "Take your daughter to work" day.
    Paigelina, I'll be happy to take this latest assignment off your hands. I am vee vee boooorrred!

  • junioreditor said on Aug 22, 2008....

    I've finished reading Client's latest piece, and may I say,

    Oh

    My

    God!

    I.........I..........I...........
    have no words. I have no words.

    This is the largest load of "who gives a toss" I have ever had the misfortune to read.
    What makes Client think anyone would be even remotely interested in his paranoid mutterings?
    Who, in heaven's name, cares a fig about how posts on blog sites attain featured status?

    Paige, do I remember correctly? Didn't Client once write an op ed piece (or 10) about his dissatisfaction with the way the bestselling authors list was compiled?  And didn't the ABA give in and change the template, allowing Client to reach the #1 spot for a time?
    So, why is he crying discrimination once more?? No one cares! We can't sell this, it won't do.
    The man is an idiot, I don't care what BB thinks. He may feel sorry for him, but I don't. He's pitiful, I grant you, but I don't pity him. He's just laughable. I laugh at him. Ha ha. I’m sorry, but I’m  tired.

     

    And still, I edit:

     

     

    Often those who are "informed" of the mechanic’s behind (The mechanic’s behind? THE MECHANIC’S BEHIND???) the pages of SoulCast are those who mostly support one another in the pages of SoulCast with mass subscriptions to one another and knew the operating methodology of the program currently utilized here.

    This entire paragraph makes my eyes bleed but let’s focus on tense for now. “Are” is present, “knew” is past. Use one tense or the other, not both. "To one another" is redundant.

    A conjunction needs an apostrophe; ‘let’s’ is actually ‘let us’. You must replace the missing letter with an apostrophe. Why do you insist on throwing apostrophes around willy-nilly??

    “…the mechanic’s behind” refers to the arse of the mechanic.

    “Lets” is more than one let. Now, that’s (that is) just silly!


      * " Users are able to subscribe to each other and tags
          they are interested in. "These subscriptions are used
          as a means to implicitly  [ rate ]  post .... which allow
          “good post" to filter to the top {feature page} and....
                       
            [ spam ] post to be moved out of the site without
             any manual work done by the users or myself....

    Is this a quote? I don’t see a name. If it is a quote, it behooves you to quote correctly and to give credit to the author. You don’t want your readers to think the author didn’t use proper grammar.


    I would read this to mean the program recognizes {spam}  vs. users due to any given post to have subscriptions {personas} and recognized {subscribed tags} tags of actual users vs spam created post that would not have subscribers or subscription tags.

    I am in hell. I am in a hell in which insane drunks are issued laptops and forced to record every asinine thought that pops into their heads. I have been sent to this hell by the vengeful cookbook god because I was instrumental in allowing Mrs. Seinfeld’s collection of plagiarized recipes to go to print.

    Pray for me.


    Mr. Pendable is working on revisions with Client today.

    Trying to steer Client away from this latest rant and back to the business at hand won't be easy, I don't envy him. Dr Gigi is in Belfast this week with BB, Bambi, and B.O'toni.


    I think I'll stop by Ex's office and see if he's making any progress.


     http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/149634/Is-there-Censorship-and-Discrimination-in-SoulCast%3F

  • junioreditor said on Aug 22, 2008....
    Did Mr. Ex move offices?
    Oh, he did NOT get that lovely corner office!  Not the one with 2 windows??
    Grrrrr!
  • Expendable said on Aug 22, 2008....
    There's windows down here?
    -ex
  • PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 22, 2008....
    Junie, you're an ANGEL FROM HEAVEN BEARING EXPENSIVE GIFTS AND THE FINEST CHOCOLATES KNOWN TO HEAVENKIND!
    I don't know how you made it past the title without taking a siesta!
    Remember Darling!  I hold the Boss of Big in the palm of my hand now!
    You can move into the third floor suite anytime you like!
     
    Ex!  You have no windows?
    I'll send in our contractor over the weekend!  He's amazing.
    He does smell odd, but you can leave out one of those extra strength lavender sachets Lenore uses!
    They work like a charm!
  • Expendable said on Aug 22, 2008....
    That's ok. Windows look weird in a sub-basement.
  • PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 22, 2008....
    Sub-basement?
    Oh, no no no no no!
    I will not have our best tech whiz working in the dungeon!
    You're moving up Ex!
  • junioreditor said on Aug 22, 2008....
    Que elevator music....
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 24, 2008....
    you know, it's popular over on slashdot to refer to microsoft's brand of spin which seeks to marginalize linux as FUD: fear, uncertainty & doubt, referring to the emotions that the redmond giant seeks to arouse in people WRT linux.

    but at least when microsoft engages in FUD, at least it's intelligible!

    if you ask me, far more than the grammar issues, the content is what defies logic.

    ed
  • junioreditor said on Aug 24, 2008....
    Exactamundo, SW! And that is why good editors are worth their weight in gold!
     Paige and I work tirelessly, 3, sometimes 4 hours a day, as do the darling baby eds, trying to turn our Client's unintelligible, gibberish-filled rants into readable manifestos.
    Why? It's supremely simple, Darling.
    Are you a Nostradamus scholar? Let us assume you are not.
    Since you are unfamiliar with early French, you will probably pass on the opportunity to read the Centuries. You may then judge the prophecies of Nostradamus emotionally and from a fear of the unknown.
    "Oh my goodness! The Enquirer says the end of the world is coming in 2012!"

    Now, let us assume you are a professor of the early French language. You studied it for the specific purpose of debunking Nostradamus. You translated the Centuries so people could see what a kook-a-looney old Nasty D really was, thus allaying their fears.
    "Wait just a potton-kickin' minuto! This old geezer is vague and ambiguous, not to mention 3 sheets to the wind. Why should I believe him??"

    Do you see, Darling SW?
    We've outed the boogeyman!  Thrown water on the wicked witch, dropped a house on her! There's no ogre behind the curtain, there's only a little, old, harmless man!

    Capice?




     
  • Expendable said on Aug 24, 2008....
    Mmm, the emperor has no clothes on. Someone stole them all.
  • junioreditor said on Aug 24, 2008....
    The emperor has no clothes.
    I think the emperor is on a shopping spree, though.
    It will be interesting to see what it's going to cost us.
    Are we ready, boys & girls?
    Hatten down the batches!
  • Expendable said on Aug 24, 2008....
    It's cool and quiet down here in the sub-basement, I like it down here.  Plus I've met your contractor and he's got some interesting ideas. I also like how he doesn't stare.
  • junioreditor said on Aug 24, 2008....
    I'm so relieved. Uh, I meant to say "glad", not relieved, no, there's no reason for me to be relieved, I'm glad, that's it, glad.
    Glad you like the it in the "orchestra", as we like to call it.

    So. You haven't heard anything strange, then? I mean "odd", not strange, no, there's nothing strange downstairs, nothing odd either, just forget I said anything.
    I would come upstairs, though, if anyone begins mixing mortar.
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 25, 2008....
    junie, my thanks. :>

    although i do think that the comparison to nostradamus gives too much credit to your client, to be blunt. :>

    ed
  • junioreditor said on Aug 25, 2008....

    SW

    Not a comparison so much as my inability to remember who coined the phrase "Wascely Wabbit".

    June

Comment on "Trying on The Hat of Cerebrality"

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MEMO!

PaigeLe'Editor posted 9 days ago | views: 112 | Tags: editing, Memo, new client, meeting, budget cutbacks, stupidio
Due to recent........ read entire post 11 comments