• fearing said on Aug 19, 2008....

  I'd like to apply if the pay is good enough. 
  
  My qualifications: 
  
  I must admit my secretarial skills are lacking but I'll type whatever you want.  I hope your proof-reading skills are up to par.
  
  Esthetician - Well, I don't have any experience there other than personal.  I will offer to laugh my butt off while you wax though. 
  
  Masseur - Nope, no qualifications in this department either but I'm willing to give a back rub now and again if you return the favor. 
  
  However, I am on board to eat all the chocolate cake you want.
  
  
  lol! 
  You're a hoot yourself!
  

• Lucytorial said on Aug 19, 2008....

  Hmmm I'm fairly busy right now but heck, if you need someone who isn't literate, can't put two phrases together to save their lives but can extol the virtues of spreeding roe on your face twice a day I'll give it a go.
   
  As for qualifications.. I'm an Aussie so that means I can do anything.

• junioreditor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Oh, but we must have both F. Earring and Lucy Torial, Darling! 
  We're going to need more hands to get us through this latest development.
   
  Client has changed genres on us once again, judging by this morning's delivery. Not genders, Darling!  Although, Lord knows he does THAT enough!
  
  He's tried humor with no success, his attempt at erotica left us all cold. Why, even his free "DIY" pamphlet for Lowes Depot had few takers.
   But this latest nonsense takes the biscuit!  Are you sitting down?
  He's starting a thriller!  A THRILLER!  As in Ludlum/DeMille/Fleming, a spy thriller!
  But that's not the worst of it, Paigeala. He's cast himself as the hero, and his arch nemesis is Jay, one of the IT nerds!   Poor little geeky Jay from the third floor, of all people!
  And the plot...well, there is no plot, really. It's paranoid rantings, aluminium hats,  strange voices, dental filling broadcasts, that type of thing.
  
   Style Writer is going to talk to Jay tomorrow, feel him out about the possibility of a lawsuit. We cannot afford that!  Mr. Pendable and Mr. C are looking into matters, of course
  This man will be the death of this company some day. I don't see why we keep him on the roster, I truly do not.
  Pass the chocky, please.
  
  
  
  

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Sorry Junie, I just; this very second; returned from my executive luncheon with Fabio and the Don fellow, from Harper's!
  Or was it Dan?
  Best three hours I've ever spent being wined and dined!
  The gossip was tres delicioso!
  Anyhooisit, Lenore has been running though my office like a madwoman after twelve cups of fancy coffee!
  Seems we've been assigned several new clientos and Bambi told them they were not only on salary, but had medical and dental benefits as well!
  Where is Mr. Botoni?  Hm?
  Isn't he supposed to be shopping with her 'til they both drop?
  Is he over budget with the Bambino's expense account?
  Because I can just snap my little fingers and B. B. will increase it tenfold!
  He really doesn't want to lose us!
   
  I'll check in on the Thriller du jour and get back to you ASAP!

• Lucytorial said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Juni what needs to be done first?

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Lucy, DARLING!

  I could really use a memory purge after reading the latest!

  I believe our client is attempting a Dan Brownesque thriller/romance/mystery a la Twinkie the Super Cat!

  Oh, and for Gretel's sake, please get rid of those rejected manuscripts!

  It's obvioso that he/she's been exploring the vast tundras of unwanted ideas!

• Lucytorial said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Paige the best thing to do at this moment is make sure that Mr Pen and C are on top of the heap.  Shall I make a mimosa to calm you heart rate, really the blood vessels on your temples are positively bursting!

• junioreditor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Lucy T, you are a lifesaver, and ever so observant!  A bursting Paige vessel is not a pretty sight!
  Ah, Fabio,*sigh*, mi amor, mi...hunka hunka burnin' love....I would drink champers from his flip flops.....
  How is darling DanDon?
  I believe I heard Mr B'toni and Bambilooney making plans to show Fiona Earring around town.
  I'm meeting Dr Gigi for Schnapps at Tavern to discuss her thoughts on drugging Client, oops! I meant.....never mind.
  

• Lucytorial said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Juni ~ Slow down on the mimosa's.  I'm trying to find the rejected manuscripts, in the mood for a bon fire.

• silverwhisper said on Aug 21, 2008....

  hm...do you require a sommelier? :D
  
  ed

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 21, 2008....

  Are you volunteering, Mr. Whisper?
   
  Lucy, DARLING!  That mim was the best EVAH!
  Glad we've got you on board!
   
  Junie!  I thought you knew that Fabio was sharing Manolos with that darling little
  Stephan twit in the mailroom!
  He knows all the gosspoop, so I simply can't resist!
  Guess who likes to ride the rails with 3 inch stilettos and a Carmen Miranda fruit hat?
   
  Oh, and Dan/Don sends his love and smooches!

• kruuyai said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Hmmm, if you're paying with chocolate cake, count me in!  What can I do?.... Everything, dahlings.  Simply everything.

• Lucytorial said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Kru its not their chocolate cake its mine, home made and always in the office before said busy bodies get in, if you are quick I will make sure a slice is saved for you.
   
  Paige I had the bon fire at home. Nothing better than a bit of kindling for a good hard wood fire, as I always say if it doesn't smoke its worth shit so why not burn the fucker anyway.

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Kruuyai! 
  Junie, do we have another job opening for Kru?
  Wait, how silly of me!  Of course we do!  B. B. and the budget of monumental proportions all for us!
  When can you start Kru?
   
  Ms. Lucy certainly did have a steamboat that went to HELLo, your language!
  Bon fire!  It sounds like a fabulous french dessert, doesn't it?
  Delicious!
  You didn't singe the drapes did you?

• junioreditor said on Aug 22, 2008....

  But of course!  We've been waiting for Kru to return from.....there, to here....and have held open the office of Head Of Translating, Extraordinaire (HOTTY). Welcome to BB Literary Press, Kru... you HOTTY, you!
  Fancy coffees, chocolate cake with ZenYenta's shiny icing, and a Meerschaum pipe from Australia await you in your above ground level office.
  Don't offer coffee to Lenore. 
  

• junioreditor said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Have your people call the sommelier's people for the wine list.
  

• RollingC said on Aug 25, 2008....

  :^)

• LUCKY13 said on Aug 26, 2008....

  I'm over qulified, but open and free

• Lucytorial said on Aug 26, 2008....

  MEMO
   
  To Juni and Paige.
   
  My apologies for the somewhat colourful language, I get carried away sometimes.
   
  If you are going to call a sommelier in please have the one from the cock-tail party the other night.  He was simply delicious!
   
  Just wanting to warn you that security got rid of Steve however he seems to have taken such a bad fall on his way out, I probably should have removed my hand from the broom first, I was overtaken with the desire to see that man gone for good.
   
  We may need to get the Lawyers in, Steve says he's going to sue for damages.  DO NOT tell BB at this stage, we can clean this one up ourselves.
   
  Lucy Torial

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