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This is the one year anniversary of my diabetes diagnosis.  My lifestyle has certainly changed since then.

I've learned to live with less carbs and to pay attention to my body better.  I've been rocked by the loss of a toe and the depression that followed. I won't say it's been easy, but it has put me on a path I wouldn't have been on had it not happened. 

Today's post at my other blog is about all the lifestyle changes I've made over this past year.  You can go here if you want to read about it.

My feelings today are a mixed bag.  I have a bit of nausea as I remember that gut wrenching fear that was building in me.  Being diagnosed with diabetes that wasn't responding was scary enough, but hearing "we'll try to save your toe" over and over was awful.  I never dreamed it was anywhere that bad. 

I was eventually transferred to a larger hospital and after 11 days came home without my left big toe, but with controlled blood sugar.  Despair does not fathom the emotion I felt. 

In the beginning diabetes felt like a death sentence.  A year later, I am determined to drop the weight that will make the symptoms disappear.  I'm down 17 pounds and a dress size.  I'm stronger both emotionally and physically than I was then.  I have a quiet resolve to live a very long time and with the upper hand.

Being diabetic launched my other blog which is quickly becoming my business.  The money will come as it grows.  I'm confident of its success. I'm writing a book about life with diabetes.  I have the t-shirt site too.  None of this would have happened without the events that started one year ago today.

I had to find something to be positive about this cross I've been given to carry or else go crazy.  It's extremely easy to feel sorry for myself sometimes.  Sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway, as the saying goes.

I would be remiss if I did not thank each and every one of you who reads me for all your loving support through one of the very darkest times of my life.  You truly kept my head above water in the beginning as I was reeling after the amputation.  I am eternally indebted to you. 

THANK YOU FROM THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

CW


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Comments

  • evil_twin said on Aug 19, 2008....
    I know this has been a really hard year for you at times. But you really have turned something that was so scary and difficult for you to deal with, into something positive. Not many people who have been where you were or in a similar type situation, have gone gung ho into making changes with themselves. Or reached out and tried to help others with your blog and writing a book.

    I know sometimes you feel like you're still moping around about it all, but that's not at all what I've seen. I think you're very strong and courageous and you've done a great job not only coping with all this, but turning it into something that can change your life for the better. And help change others lives who have the same problem.

    I think this year has been a great turning point for you, despite the badness that started it all. Stay strong and keep doing what you're doing!

    -evil_twin LA


  • CayenneMan said on Aug 19, 2008....
        Well CreativeWoman I'm happy to know that you're making progress fighting off this nasty disorder, Diabetes has been in my family and all around me all my life I know how cruel it can be. I don't wish your business to fail but I do pray to God for a cure to be found. So far I have been very lucky. Most doctors believe we all will have some type of this disorder as we get up in age. Now that I'm in my late twenties the thought has really been on my mind ;0)  Take care CreativeWoman and good luck.  
  • MissMimi said on Aug 19, 2008....

    CDub, you're finding a way to make something that might have defeated a lesser person into something positive and uplifting.  I'm sure you will never know how many lives you have touched with your blogs, both here and at the Sweet Diabetic.  I admire you very much.

    Thank you for all the help you gave me when I was trying to come to terms with my own diagnosis of diabetes.  Always generous, always helpful and kind.  I wish you continued success and forward progress.  {{{hugs}}}

  • Alyss said on Aug 19, 2008....
    CW, It has been a tough year full off challenges but you have faced them all with bravery and courage. I hope you are proud of what you have achieved despite the inauspicious beginning.
  • nytquill17 said on Aug 19, 2008....
    Congratulations on your first year fighting The Beast!  I would say you are winning ;)

    You've done incredibly well.  I never cease to be amazed at all you've been able to do for yourself, even under terribly depressing circumstances, even without the "support network" that the experts all say is so vital.

    I'm glad you're here.  I'm glad you shared your story with us - and I'm glad I got to be here as the story unfolded :)


  • woman said on Aug 19, 2008....
    Like the phoenix, you have risen victorious from the ashes. This is a lifetime battle and I wish you both strength and a glorious sense of humor!
  • hotaka said on Aug 19, 2008....
    As I said in my previous comment, you have really become a different person, a very positive and driven person. As you replied you were hesitant to make changes in your life before but this kick in the pants has got you hopping and you can see what your creative energy and effort can do when applied. Yes, I remember reading your posts last year and what happened. It was shocking for me too to read about your toe especially. I can understand that you might want to feel sorry for yourself but then again you are much stronger now, don't you think?
  • CreativeWoman said on Aug 20, 2008....
    evil twin,
    Thank you for all your kind words.  You are right that it has been a turning point for me. It has definitely put a new spin on my life.  I do hope I can help others as I learn along the way.

    CayenneMan,
    Thank you.  I hope you never have to deal with diabetes yourself either. ...  It would be wonderful to be put out of business by a cure. 

    Mimi,
    Thank you.  Your kindness also helped me when I first found out.  Probably in more ways than you realize. I'm glad I could return the favor.  (((((hugs)))))

    Alyss,
    I am proud of the diabetic blog I have created to help others in my shoes.  The rest of me is on the path on want to be on.  It could have been much worse.

    nytquill,
    Thank you.  My friends here at SC turned out to be a good support group for me.  Blogging and my journal really helped me through some of my most depressed times until I discovered the hypnosis.

    woman,
    Thank you.  I know it will always be a part of my life, but I do plan to rule with the upper hand. 

    hotaka,
    It has made me stronger.  It definitely bounced me out of the rut I was in.  I am moving forward with changes in my life.  Thanks for being supportive. 

    CW
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 21, 2008....
    CW, it's been one hell of a year, to be sure--but your knack for taking something bad and finding a silver lining has been sharpened to a fine edge by all of this, hasn't it?

    you've grown as a person in a number of ways since your first blog entry, and moreso since your diagnosis a year ago.

    and i consider that quite extraordinary. :>

    ed
  • CreativeWoman said on Aug 21, 2008....
    Thank you, Ed.  It's been a whirlwind of emotions and tribulations.  I think I am better for having gone through it, but you would have had a hard time convincing me of that a year ago and certainly not when I made that first blog entry a couple of years ago.  There's no where to go but up.  :-) 

    You've always been very supportive and I thank you for that.

    CW
  • silverwhisper said on Aug 23, 2008....
    you would have done no less for me, CW--and indeed, you have. :> but you're welcome. :>

    ed
  • CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2008....
    Ed,
    I guess that's what friends are for. :-)

    CW

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