I also have had the chance to make more time to hang out with my friends. And I have made time...to an extent. But I've realized that I fundamentally do not gel when it comes to most situations that I find myself in with my friends. What I mean by this is any group meetings, or more specifically, group "outings." A recent barbecue with my friends at a local freeway-side park led me to have a breakdown the next day. Part of what it is is a habit some of my friends have of asking me several times to have a few drinks. The reason why I don't have these drinks is pretty odd, I'll admit: 1) I see alcoholic drinks as a waste of calories (shots are 63 cal.'s and a 12 oz. beer is 150-155 cal's.-- look it up online, if you don't believe me), I really like to eat, I don't think that I have the best metabolism (not the worst either, though) and I don't want to get fat; 2) I usually haven't done all the work that I need to do to be on track for my internet job by the time I'm usually hanging out with my friends, and I don't want to be drunk while I'm making up for the time earlier in the day that I could have used for getting the work done. Anyway, a couple of my friends kept asking (and I use the verb "ask" very liberally here; it was more along the lines of "pressure") me to drink, which they've been doing all summer. I ended up having a couple of drinks, I didn't get my work done, and so I just collapsed emotionally. The reason why I collapsed wasn't just because of the pressuring the night before, but because I feel stuck. I don't want to be constantly asked to drink, but I don't want to disappoint my friends. I yelled pretty harshly at one of them afterwards, but eventually reasoned with him without raising my voice, and I got him to pledge to try to ease up on asking me to drink. The other guy didn't say as much. He basically told me that I should do what he asked so that I would basically have spread better vibes whenever I hang out with my friends. I have to admit, I am kind of introverted, and sometimes I'm kind of a jerk whenever I'm hanging out in a large group. At the same time, I don't think that "not being sober" is the best way to attack the whole "lack of good vibes" issue, and also, most of my friends don't have as much of a problem with my character flaws as he does.

I'm really good friends with the second person I've talked about, but I feel like just telling him that I don't want to hang out with him anymore.