• uniquely-ironic said on Aug 18, 2008....

  I don't know either, but it sure sounds funny!

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Doesn't it?
  Humor is not one of his/her strong points though.
  So I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess that this note was written with the utmost sincerity, and with a purple pen that was low on ink.

• junioreditor said on Aug 18, 2008....

  Let's think about this. Client lives in rural upstate NY. Perhaps he was hiking (that would explain the boots) when the urge to use the loo struck him. He's an older gentleman with a wonky prostate, after all. He lost control and peed in his boot.
  Arriving back home, he reached into the recesses of his pantry,  pulled out a can of Resolve Carpet Cleaner, and tried to clean his boots with it.
  I have no idea how Bambi fits in the story. Is he obsessed with her?
  Is she his muse?
  I hope he's working through his writers block. Marketing is anxious to roll this baby out. I hear the initial print run is 250,000 with ad dollars at 250k, too.
  
  

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 19, 2008....

  That clears up everything.
  Thank you Junie, you are a "genious" and a genius.

• Expendable said on Aug 19, 2008....

  To: Paige
  From: Ex
   
  Re: Our special needs client.
   
  There's been the suggestion that MS runs in the family - and although I've told them to stay out of the heat, it's possible that they've gotten sick. Creative spelling, unable to pour piss from a boot (did a catheter slip?) - we could be looking at a hospital stay. I found a rant from the client claiming I'm 'spamming' him somehow with the usual vague threats. I'm putting it down to whatever the doctor's got the client on - and desperately hoping they're not self-medicating.
   
  Bambi is the daughter. Best to keep an eye on her. I've heard the client's gotten some hate mail from some chuckleheads. Whoever you get though, tell them to keep their distance. Client's got a mean temper at the best of times and tends to over-react on the flimsiest of excuses.

• Expendable said on Aug 19, 2008....

  To: Paige
  From: Ex
   
  Re: Our Special Needs Client
   
  Had a nasty thought - client claims to have found a old handgun while redecorating. They also have a questionable id (re: bad) for chucklehead. Knowing how much he over-reacts, could he be gunning for someone he thinks is chucklehead?
   
  What's our liability if client mistakenly shoots an innocent guy?

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  To: Ex
  From: Paige
   
  My goodness, our client has been a busy bee lately!
  We should run this by our legal department and see what flies to Bermuda for the winter on holiday!
   
  What I'd like to know is this; is the insanity for show, or is the show for insanity?

• junioreditor said on Aug 20, 2008....

  Mr. Pendable is correct, Paige. Mary Syndrome does run in Client’s family, so Dr Gigi tested Client for the genetic marker and diagnosed him as “full of it”.

   Do you remember Client, Sr? He showed great promise at one time. Unfortunately, BB had to drop him when he began showing symptoms, although I believe he collaborates on Client, Jr's work.

    Mary/Carol/MaryJane/Higgins/Clark, or Mary Syndrome, often strikes the offspring of the well known. Consider Anne’s son Chris and Stephen’s Joe. Frank’s Frank Jr and Nancy. Aaron’s Tori. Mr and Mrs C’s Joanie.

   

  I think Lucy Torial would be a perfect nanny for Client. She’s rumoured to have saved the life of the teen-aged son of an oil sheik while leading a group of visiting Saudis on a walk about through the Australian outback, by using her large mammories to perform an emergency tonsillectomy. As a result, the sheik wanted her to return with him to his country and be his concubine, but Lucy, not being fluent in the Al-Hasaa dialect, thought the sheik wanted her to return with him to drive a combine, and replied, “Thanks, but I haven’t climbed on one of those in years.”
  I believe she's more than a match for client.
  

• Expendable said on Aug 20, 2008....

  To: Paige
  From: Ex
   
  re: special needs client
   
  I've met more than my fair share of crazy people. I'd have to say only two of them have ever scared me as much as the client does.

• silverwhisper said on Aug 21, 2008....

  [giggle]

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 21, 2008....

  Junie, I can see everything clearly now!
  Muchos thankolas for the bubbly spritzer with lime!
   
  Expendable, I met a man with a hat named Doris once!
  Lest you think I left out my comma, yes, his hat was named Doris!
   
  Silverwhisper, what in heaven's napkin is so amusing?

• Expendable said on Aug 21, 2008....

  I'm sorry, what's so strange about a hat named Doris?

• kruuyai said on Aug 22, 2008....

  He says he needs to "recess" his life?  Is he still in kindergarten?

• Expendable said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Our client is, shall we say, a "creative speller"? Which is why he needs editors in the first place. We believe he means to "reset" his life. This should prove interesting, as so far all he's done is put various editors to sleep with his nonsensical rants on the "unfairness of the rating system".

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Darlings!  You should hear his/her rant about The New York Times Best Seller List!
  That rant is priceless!
  I've considered sending it to Mad Magazine!
   
  Oh, Ex!  If you're going to name your hats, it should at least be something tres elegant like Tiffany or Audrey!

• kruuyai said on Aug 22, 2008....

  Or maybe he needs to reassess his life?

• PaigeLe'Editor said on Aug 23, 2008....

  That goes without saying, dear!

• junioreditor said on Aug 23, 2008....

  But that is our raison d'etre, Kru, Darling!
  

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